885 Days [A Vikklan/Sidemen/Pack Story]

Day 61: Ethan

23 May 2015

Tobi told me that Vikk cried himself to sleep the nights following Mitch, Jerome and Preston's departures, so torn apart by their leaving, but they couldn't do anything about it. Their visas had expired and they had to go home until they could get new ones, but Rob had another three weeks before he had to go back, giving Vikk another source of outside comfort. I was glad, although my younger friend was still shattered.

By this point, a month since he vanished and counting, I think I knew that he might not be coming back. The police search was likely no longer looking for a missing person but a body- most people abducted didn't come back alive after the first few hours or days- and even if he was still alive, by some miracle of God, he wouldn't be the same should he come back. Despite not knowing the young blonde very well, having spoken to him on a call with Vikk once or twice and having a two minute conversation with him before we went out that fateful day, I knew he had a good heart. He was a genuine, happy, outgoing person and I couldn't imagine what he had been through. Been. In my heart of hearts, I truly didn't believe he was still alive.

Vikk... he was barely hanging on. I think he blamed himself for Lachlan going missing despite everything that had happened, despite our reassurances that he couldn't have done anything, he still believed that it came down to him and a few meaningless decisions. He believed he could have stopped this whole thing.

Tobi had essentially moved in after everything went down, sleeping in Vikk's room, helping him with everything he could, and I knew it was for Vikk's sake. If Tobi hadn't been there the boy would have likely fallen apart. He hadn't slept through the night once, in over a month, often waking up screaming or unable to fall asleep in the first place. He was absolutely shattered by this loss and the uncertainty compounded it, not knowing if Lachlan was still out there or not.

"An officer called by this morning." Josh said to me over a cup of coffee so hot I was worried he would scald himself. I glanced at him.

"Anything?"

"Nothing." He sighed heavily. "I don't want to tell Vikk yet but... they're looking for a body. They think he might have been taken outside of England but they aren't sure, there's no car, no witnesses, no suspect. Chances are he was murdered within just a few days."

He sounded completely emotionless as he spoke but I could see the anger, the sadness, boiling just below the surface. I had expected something along those lines soon enough considering the time that had passed, and the statistics. From what we knew, most- almost 99%- of people reported missing are found alive and well, but that was within hours of the report being filed. Three quarters of those not found alive were dead within a few hours of going missing. Lachlan had been missing for a month. The hope in me had long since faded.

"I just... I want closure. If he's gone then- god I sound so awful saying this... if he's gone then he's gone. I just want to know. I want to begin to heal and I want Vikk to begin to heal but we can't do that if there's some stupid hope out there that he's still alive!" Josh slammed his fist on the counter, coffee slopping over the rim of his mug. He took in a deep, shuddering breath. "I want to be able to say goodbye and know it's final. That we aren't still looking."

"So do I Josh." I whispered. "So do I."

-----------------------------------------------

We weren't expecting an officer. They normally came on a Friday evening every week just to give us an update, if there was anything to say that is, but this man showed up on a Tuesday morning, flustered and out of breath. Everyone gathered quickly. Today marked two months since his disappearance.

"I know... I know this isn't the news you wanted to hear, but we found a body. It's a young man, late teens maybe early twenties, tall, blonde, pale. It- he's... currently beyond recognition due to partial decomposition and we need one of you to come down to the station to come and identify him. There are currently two outstanding cases, Lachlan's and another from London, that are a potential match to this victim, but the resemblance is so similar that we can't ID him ourselves."

Vikk had gone deathly pale the moment the officer first uttered the word body, swallowing heavily. Tobi kept one arm around the younger boy, leaning down to whisper in his ear. There was a pause, then Vikk nodded.

"We'll go." Tobi said bravely, but he was pale too. "We'll go."

61: Vikk

It was complete numbness at first. The news didn't really settle in until we were well on our way to the station, mere minutes out from seeing if this body really did belong to my friend. Tobi held me tight but his breathing was rough and uneven too. He didn't want to see and identify the body anymore than I did, but I think it was more the realization that all my hope might be crushed, that he wasn't alive, that he wasn't going to come home, that was the most difficult part.

The officer paused before he got out of the car, visibly steeling himself.

"Just... be prepared, alright? He's not in good shape and you might describe it as gruesome. We just need you to identify him either as Lachlan or not." He said quietly, opening the door beside me. I only nodded, dizzying waves of panic sweeping over me.

Please don't be Lachlan, please don't be Lachlan-

It was the smell that hit be first. It was an overwhelming stench of death and rot and I couldn't help but gag. Tobi seemingly struggled to breathe for a moment, gasping. We had to wait a moment before we could even consider going into the room and through the glass I could see the body of a young man lying on the table- but immediately, something was off.

Within a few seconds I think I knew it wasn't him. He was taller than Lachlan and despite the decomposition I could tell he was larger, his fingers weren't long and slender like Lachlan's had been. His clothing, sitting on a table nearby wasn't what Lachlan had been wearing nor was it something he would ever wear, not that it mattered that much, but it meant that I could see there was no birthmark on his left shoulder. Lachlan had a large, dark birthmark, more like a mole, there. And his face... his face wasn't the one of my friend.

I shook my head and backed out of the room, gasping for breath. Tobi followed closely, also shaking his head.

"It's not him." He finally said, voice weak. "It's not Lachlan."

63: Lachlan

My body didn't have time to recover in between each round of abuse, leaving me racked with pain and immobile, but I could deal with that. I had accepted the pain as apart of this, this horrible situation I found myself in, because there was always far worse than pain. It was the chains, and the violation, and the starvation and his way of degrading and treating me like I wasn't human. I didn't feel human anymore. I was dirty and my clothes were ripped, my hair was growing down over my ears and was tangled and greasy. I felt like an animal, caged, trapped and alone.

I often wondered what Vikk was doing. Was he still looking for me? Or had he moved on already? What about the Pack? I didn't know. Thoughts of my family didn't often occur. The loneliness was the thing that killed me the most. I may have been able to get through everything, the abuse, the disgusting touches, the restraints, if there was someone other than him there. My heart ached.

I wanted to go home.