885 Days [A Vikklan/Sidemen/Pack Story]

Day 608: Jerome

20 November 2016

Mitch's breathing stuttered as he slept, stirring several times before I managed to calm him again. I couldn't sleep, not tonight. This, unfortunately, wasn't unusual for either me or Mitch and at least a couple nights a week were spent staring up at the dark ceiling or cuddling the other while we tried in vain to fall asleep. I woke up often to Mitch running his hands through my hair, reading or playing on his phone.

The last months had been rough. Mitch was sleeping less and less, pushing himself to work more and more, and the passing of Lachlan's 21st birthday made it even worse. If he had been here there would have been celebrations, a huge party and another year of him. But instead it was more candles, more photos and another plea for information.

Pulling Mitch closer and shuffled further under the covers, one arm around him and the other under the pillow. I was so exhausted but simply couldn't sleep. His memory haunted me and often I lay awake wondering if he was still out there and if he was, was he thinking of me? Was he thinking of the other Pack boys? And if he was gone, had he remembered us in his final moments? I sighed deeply, eyes fluttering open again.

It was going to be a long damn night.

------------------------------------------------

We had to make the trip back to Florida to renew our visas once more. I was having a massive struggle to obtain the necessary documentation to apply for dual citizenship and permanent residency and it was likely going to take another few months before I would see any progress. Mitch was having more luck, having applied a month earlier and was hoping to see something back soon, and Rob had already got confirmation. Preston was having less luck than I was. Despite that, Mitch decided to come back with me. He wanted to see his family and our home as much as I did.

I sighed as I looked around the house. It looked exactly as it had when we had left it months earlier, slightly dirtier, but we had hired a cleaner to go over it before we arrived. Mitch blinked.

"It's weird being back here." He said quietly, arm snaking around my waist. "It's not even like home anymore."

"No." I said. "It's not."

We spent four weeks in Florida waiting to secure new visas and during that time we hung out with our families and tidied up our house a pick, packing most of our belongings in boxes and selling or donating almost everything we wouldn't need again. Already we were planning not to come back here as soon as we had the chance.

Everything fell into place once we got back to London, exactly into the routine we had before. Mitch and I still shared a room but I don't think any of the others knew we were sharing a bed as well. It wasn't romantic, at least I didn't think it was, instead it was for comfort because neither of us could sleep without the other there anymore. Since Lachlan went missing we had slept in the same bed.

It was a huge relief, that moment we stepped back inside the Sidemen house. It clearly wasn't just the Sidemen house anymore considering five members of the Pack lived there on an almost permanent basis, but we just referred to it as the Sidemen house. Josh opened the door for us and wrapped the both of us in hugs. We went upstairs to greet Vikk, say hi and given him a hug, and then we just went to bed. We both fell asleep easily that night, exhausted after a long flight.

Before we fell asleep though, Mitch whispered to me, beginning a conversation we probably should have had months ago.

"...'erome?" He whispered, voice shaking. I turned to him, my heart already pounding with worry.

"What's up Mitch?" I asked, trying to stay calm.

"Do you think of Lachlan?" The question surprised me.

"What? Of course I do? What do you mean?" My brow furrowed.

"Like... all the time. Do you think of him just whenever anything happens that's even slightly connected to a memory of him or even just... a memory just pops up when you're trying to sleep and-" He was crying now, unloading everything he had probably kept in for a long time. I consoled him for quite a while before I spoke.

"Yes, I do. I think of him all the time no matter whether anything reminded me of him or not. I know how hard it is. Why is this coming up now?"

"Because..." He sniffled. "I wanted to know if you truly think he's still out there." I froze. It was that one question that I honestly didn't know the answer to and I didn't want to answer it. I didn't know, and I didn't want to sound like I had lost hope.

"I honestly don't know Mitch." I sighed. "I want to believe that he is out there somewhere, but I don't know anymore. It's been over a year and a half. I can't answer that without feeling like I'm lying to you."

He only nodded, rolling over and turning away from me. I knew he was crying. Wrapping my arms around him I pulled him back into me, pressing a kiss to the back of his head.

"No matter what happens, I'll be here, I promise."

------------------------------------------------

The officer stood in the kitchen with his hands folded in front of him until everyone was gathered in front of him, expression sombre. Only JJ wasn't there, he was off in America doing a music tour or something, but Simon had called him so he could hear the news. It didn't look good.

"A couple of weeks ago, a burnt out car was found in South Downs National Park, 'bout an hour and a half from here. It had been pushed off a cliff and was completely overgrown with weeds and plants. There was blood in the back." Someone gasped, I wasn't sure who. "We decided not to make this information public until we had solid information on who the car belonged to, whose blood it was and..." He sighed. "Whose leather jacket was in the back seat."

Vikk whimpered quietly and everyone was pale- I knew Lachlan had been wearing a leather jacket on that night.

"We tested DNA from his brother and mother because we didn't have his profile, and it's a match. The jacket is his as well." There was a stifled sob. "Unfortunately, there is no trace of Lachlan or the person who took him and the car was stolen, so there is no way to trace the owner. The entire front portion of the car was burned away, so there is no evidence, DNA or otherwise, of anyone else in that car. We're still testing currently, but we do know he was alive when he left that car. The blood was only in a few small spots and there's no sign of decomposition. It's not much, but it's something."

Mitch leaned against me, choking back tears. The first real update we had had, ever, and there was... nothing. There was no real evidence. A burnt out car and a jacket. There would be no security footage left since that car had been there for a year and a half and no more evidence. It was, essentially, a dead end lead.

"I'm sorry I can't give you anything more. Just know that we're really trying."

611: Lachlan

They must have found something, something about me or where I went because he hurt me worse than he ever had before that night. He was swearing and cursing the whole time, muttering about how he should have disposed of it better, why couldn't it have burned more and the goddamn police and their goddamn technology. I kept quiet. Words meant pain. Anyway, any sign of hope just would have made him hurt me worse.

I survived that awful sickness, obviously. Not by much. I was on deaths door for several day, drifting in and out of consciousness for several... days or weeks, I didn't know. It was only when he shoved some pain relief and fever reducing medication down my throat that the fever broke and I managed to pull through. He left me alone for quite a while after that too, providing food and water somewhat regularly. I was given some pitiful time to heal, even though I really couldn't move. The chains stretched far enough for me to make it to the bucket in the corner and that was all the movement I did. I knew my muscles were wasting away.

Pulling in a strangled breath I forced myself to sit up, wincing as I used muscles and moved things that were stiff and sore from the injuries. I could barely walk anymore. I wasn't sure my voice would ever work again. It was endless pain knowing that even if I got out of here, my body was as broken as my mind. I felt completely broken.