885 Days [A Vikklan/Sidemen/Pack Story]

Seven Days Home

30 August 2017

The nightmare verged on violent that night. Jerome, Mitch and Tobi went home and JJ and Rob took their places, seemingly not minding having to share the dingy little bed set up in the room. I couldn't move, not when Lachlan had a death grip on the front of my shirt and stirred every time I tried to move away. I gave in after a while, drifting off with the younger boys head tucked right into my chest.

The clock read 1:27 when I awoke with a jolt, Lachlan's eyes flying open at the same time he let out a scream of anguish. His body tensed, thrashing around on the bed. He was awake but he wasn't truly present, off in some other world. Rob and JJ jolted up too, leaping from their bed.

"Don't touch him!" I half-yelled, throwing my arm out to stop them getting closer. "It'll only scare him more!"

The screaming had stopped and he was only thrashing now, distressed half-calls for help falling from his lips. I didn't know how to stop it, I didn't know what to do- and then instinct took over. Reaching out very gently, slowly, careful to avoid being hit, I took ahold of his hands and clasped them in mine and squeezed gently. It was my touch that brought him back down into reality, eyes losing their glazed look as he fell still.

I didn't speak, but neither did anyone else. I communicated solely through touch, gently squeezing his hands as Lachlan tossed his head. His eyes flickered. His body shuddered, a low moan falling from his lips and his forehead wrinkled, clearly in a fair amount of pain. I pressed my lips to his forehead, breathing gently and deeply to keep both myself and him calm.

"It's okay." I breathed. "It's okay. You're okay." Lachlan whimpered. "Everything's okay."

JJ had slipped from the room, probably running to get the nurse to help, and it was only then he walked back in. Rob remained frozen on the bed, gaping, shaken so much that he could hardly even move. I just kept holding Lachlan, whispering comforting words and watching him closely. The nurse rushed over, immediately checking the IV's.

"He's pulled an IV out." He said, checking the inside of Lachlan's arm. "I need to put it back in, is that okay?"

He was asking Lachlan, but Lachlan didn't seem to hear him. He had drifted off to somewhere else. I gently moved his arm into a position where it could be replaced, but he didn't even react to the jolt of pain that surely would have been caused when the nurse pushed the needle into his skin. I watched, tense. He was still shuddering, tears crawling down his cheeks.

"Rob, JJ?" I asked quietly. "Can you... can you leave for a bit?" Both nodded but it took Rob a moment to stand up, his legs shaking. JJ had to help him walk, both leaving the room to sit in the hallway and shutting the door behind them. Lachlan seemed to sense they were gone because the tenseness left his body, going limp in my lap. He whimpered again.

"It's okay, they're gone Lachy." I whispered. "It's just us. We're alone."

"Vikk." He mumbled hoarsely. "Vikk."

"It's okay Lachy. You're safe."

"I'm scared." His voice pitched, eyes wide as he pushed himself closer to me. "I'm scared. I don't want to be here. I want to go home." He stopped for a moment, tears flowing, panic obvious in his face. "I don't wanna be here, I don't wanna be in the hospital, I wanna go home-"

Lachlan was working himself up into a panic now, breathing heavy and fast, tears flowing, eyes blown wide with fear. He was clinging to me, sobbing.

"Lachy, Lachy, look at me." I whispered, placing a hand under his chin. "We're going home soon. It's a new house, everyone stays there and it can be a new start. I know you don't want to be here and I know it's scary. I know. I'm scared too." He sniffled, pressing himself closer to me. I continued to speak. "It's been difficult but I'm so happy you're home. I've waited two years to see you again and I'm not going to put you anywhere that makes you scared. We're gonna lock him up and then we can start again. I love you very much. All of your friends love you very much. We're so happy you're home."

"I wanna go home." He breathed, eyes blinking up at me. He looked like a child. "I wanna go home."

"I know. I wanna go home too. We all do." I paused. "It shouldn't be too long. Once you've started gaining weight and eating I think the doctor'll allow you to come home."

"I wanna go home now." He whispered.

"I know."

It was all I could say.

----------------------------------------------------

I don't know what it was, but our conversation seemed to have sparked something in Lachlan. He was lucid when he woke up the next morning, eyes focused and actually sitting up, but he still turned away when the doctor ended the room, freezing up. He was still scared of anyone he didn't know. He did look at the food for a while, considering it, before pushing it away. Lachlan just leaned against me, thumb almost in his mouth.

It was about 10am when he finally spoke up, whispering to me so Rob and JJ couldn't hear.

"Can I see the others?" He whispered, clinging to me. I looked down at him.

"Of course!" I said gently. "The Pack boys? They want to see you too." He nodded. The boys had all mostly been in the room with Lachlan awake but he hadn't ever given any indication that he knew they were there, other than glancing at Preston once.

Rob was already there, so we did that first. Lachlan had been looking over at him for quite a while and eventually the older boy came over and sat on the bed beside us, too scared to reach out. So Lachlan reached out for him. In one sudden motion, startling both of us, Lachlan leaned across the bed shakily and wrapped Rob into a tight hug, burying himself in his chest. Rob just hugged him back, crying.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes before Lachlan had to sit back, entire body trembling with exertion. I held him while Rob tried to wipe his eyes.

"It doesn't seem real." He finally whispered, sniffing. "We waited for you to come back for over two years and it's just... surreal. I don't think it's even hit me yet."

Lachlan managed to smile, closing his eyes. My arm stayed around his waist, holding him up.

His reintroduction to the others went... alright. He was exhausted even from the few minutes of sitting up and giving Rob a hug so he was only partially there when the others were talking to him. He didn't allow them to hug him, pulling away when Jerome sat on the bed beside him, but he watched them and seemed to be listening when they spoke. Mitch barely made it two minutes before starting to cry and he had to leave the room. Jerome followed him, catching up just as the slightly older boy made it to the door. Lachlan's eyes trailed after them, a sad, low sound exiting his mouth. I think he was upset that he had made them sad, but right at that moment he didn't have the capacity to process it entirely.

"It's okay." I whispered. "They're still getting used to it. It's been an emotional time." I ran a finger over his practically non-existent hair, the stubble that was beginning to grow in.

The doctor arrived once again later that afternoon along with two nurses to check on Lachlan, his vitals, the IV's and medication he was receiving, his weight and the bandages and stuff that were on... everything. He had bandages from the surgery and around the places he had had to have stitches. Lachlan was calmer than he had been, allowing the doctor to touch his arm, but adamantly refused to let him do anything else. He panicked when he asked to check the bandages further down, verging on a panic attack and turning away.

I had to reassure him for a while, but the doctor ended up having to sedate him. The bandages had to be changed and the wounds had to be checked on- he didn't want to upset Lachlan, but it had to be done. Sedation was the only option because without it, he would fight. We all knew he would. I had to leave the room while they did everything, it was too upsetting and I didn't want to see the extent of the injuries and surgeries just yet. I had seen him shirtless, but nothing below.

Rob came with me, sitting on the plastic chair beside me as I wandered a few metres down the hall. He reached out, placing his hand in mine.

"It's gonna be a long road." He whispered. "But we'll make it. I know we will."