Surviving The Apocalypse *serious editing*

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"I thought you were going to leave me alone." I said as soon as Alec walked in the door. I couldn't meet his eyes, instead I glared at the floor.

"I was." His voice is soft and without emotion.

"Why don't you?"

"Why do you hate me?" I opened my mouth to answer, but he interrupts me. "The real reason, because we both know that the whole me holding a gun to your head is bull."

I raise my gaze form the floor to the wall, still not able to meet the gaze I know is trained on me.

"I don't know."

Why did I always freak out?

"I think I know," Alec stated. "I think that you're mad and you're scared."

"I'm not scared of you." To prove my point I turned my head to glare at him. He looked thoughtful, like he was trying to remember something important someone once told him.

"I didn't say you were. I think that you're mad at the world, because it blew up and destroyed your life. You used to know what you were going to do. Where you were going to go to college, get a job, you knew where your next meal would come from. But know you have no idea and that pisses you off. You were told that as long as you went to school and ate your vegetables that everything would be okay. But it's not." He didn't raise his voice or let emotions get the best of him.

I didn't have any thing to say so I could only stare. I refused to let my glare drop for a second.

"And you're mad that this thing- whatever it is- took away your family."

"Don't you ever say anything about my family. You don't know anything." My voice was low and dangerous, but it didn't faze Alec for a second.

"You're mad that you're alone and scared that would be alone forever. But you're ever more scared that you won't be alone, that you'll find someone. Someone who will be by your side when you need them. And when you need that person most, they won't be there and you'll be alone again."

Tears were growing in the back of my eyes, tinny little prickles. I refused to cry in front of this man, I will not show weakness.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't want to go through the pain of loosing anyone else. It's better to push people away than let them in just for them to leave."

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!" My voice cracked at the end. Tears continued to form.

"You want to push me away, but it's not going to work. I don't care how much you push me away, I'm not going anywhere." I almost didn't hear him, I was screaming in my head for him to stop talking.

But I did hear him and it made me mad, I don't know why- I don't know what or why I was feeling at all.

I stood from the bed, propelled my some force I didn't know I had, and marched right up to Alec. I start to hit his chest, the strikes are weak and pathetic, but it feels good to hit something.

"Now listen and listen well. I don't need you or anyone. Not because I'm scared of being alone or whatever bull you're going on about." The more I talk the faster and more chaotic my strikes get. "I don't need anyone because I don't want anyone's help, I can survive on my own. So don't go psychoanalyzing me like some freaking shrink!" By this point I'm crying.

I'm a mess of hitting and sobbing. I can't see anything with tears in my eyes. I'm making sounds a dying whale would make. I can't stop- won't stop- not until I get it all out, everything that I've felt for the last month.