To Heal A Lonely Heart

Call Me A Bitch Again, I Dare You!

I woke up with a start, struggling to sit up in bed with Geralt's heavy arm holding me close. I was panting and sweaty, as if I had run for days. And in my dream I had. But it wasn't really a dream, not even a nightmare. It was my past. I had dreamt of the night the humans came for us, of the slaughtering of my people, my friends, my mother. Ever since I had been back to Dol Blathanna I had dreams of my past. Mostly happy memories of my friends and me playing together or my mother teaching me about chaos and magic, sometimes even memories of my father visiting, teaching me how to properly hold a sword. But all I saw today was the massacre, evellien screaming as humans cut off their ears, children crying out for their mothers and the mocking laughter of the humans.

This time though I had a different perspective than all those years ago. This time I stood in the middle of the field, unable to intervene as a human soldier was charging at my mother, my younger self hiding behind her. The human laughed as he pushed younger me back, making her fall to the ground as she had to watcher her mother being stabbed in the stomach – not enough to kill her immediately – and cut off her ears. The piercing screams echoed in the air. Then, finally, as if out of mercy, the soldier slit her throat, the scream being cut off abruptly. He let her fall to the ground and laughed as younger me scrambled to her mother's dead body, crying out in grief and hate. The soldier lifted his blade to decapitate the young elf, but was halted in his action by being decapitated himself. Golden eyes glowed in the darkness as a man's hand reached out for my younger self, pulling her to her feet and away from the slaughtering. As they disappeared I was still standing on the field, unable to move. And as the world began to lighten around me I saw the extent of that doomed night. For as far as my eyes could reach the ground was covered in dead elves; men, women, children. Now I was finally able to move. I fell down on my knees and let out a loud cry.

A cry that ripped me from my sleep. And the cry continued. I didn't realize it was me at first, but when I did I put my face in my hands, weeping, sobbing and trembling.

"Shh. You're safe. Shhhh. All is fine. You're here with me. No one will hurt you. Shhh." That deep voice that always managed to calm me down whispered into my ear as he held my shaking body close to his, his strong arms protectively wrapped around me. We sat like this for a while. He let me cry. He didn't ask questions, only held me close until I calmed down. Then he laid back down, pulling me on top of his broad warm chest and holding me there, knowing that his steady slow heartbeat would lull me into sleep sooner or later.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked after a while. I only shook my head in response.

"Nienna, whatever it was, you are safe with me, my love. I will never let them hurt you again, dear. I love you," he whispered reassuringly.

I smiled into his chest, kissing it just above the inhumanly slow heartbeat. "I know, meleth. I love you too." And with that I fell back to sleep. No dreams terrorizing me this time.

The next morning came way too soon, and a few hours after sunrise we were ready to leave. Geralt and me that is; once we had our horses prepared we waited almost an hour for Jaskier.

"We should just leave," Geralt had suggested multiple times, only to be smacked against his armoured chest and thrown a disapproving glance by me.

When the bard finally did show up he walked towards us with a smirk on his face. "So, Geralt, how did your evening alone with your lady go?" he raised his eyebrow suggestively.

"We didn-" Geralt started but was immediately interrupted by a very smug looking bard.

"Oh no, don't give me that shit!" he turned to me. "Nienna, your screams could probably be heard in the whole town."