The Good and The Bad ~ Percabeth

forty two

[unedited]

p.j.

My whole world is spinning. This is what she wants, I say. This is what she needs.

Then why is she crying so much? Why is she still here?

Annabeth pulls herself together enough to say, "Let me talk."

I nod. My heart is stammering and my nose is probably snotty as hell, but I stand and listen.

"I'm not good with words. I'm not good at talking about my feelings, but I'm going to try. High school has been the newest, weirdest thing I've ever done. No training or studying prepares you for how certain people can make you feel or how even when you think you know something, you're probably wrong. I didn't understand the culture or the communication. All I knew was you. I saw how well you fit in and how much other students liked you before they knew you. You have that effect on people, Percy. People like you. But not me. I had to seek out friends. The only person who really seemed to like me was Wyatt."

Hearing the name deflates me, and she must see that because she hurriedly continues.

"I didn't know lines or boundaries. I didn't know that saying one thing could mean another thing. I didn't know," she sighs, pauses, and then says, "That it was possible to hurt you so much while I was trying to make a friend." She sniffles, but Annabeth hates crying. Her brave face is so polished, I almost buy it.

Almost.

"I got in too deep with Wyatt. I liked the attention. I liked the satisfaction I got from fitting in. My problem isn't my feelings for him. My problem is my inability to communicate my feelings to you. I love you, Percy, whatever that even means. You're the only person I'm ever going to want to be with. You didn't think twice about dying with me, and if the roles had been reversed, we still would've ended up down there together. I never gave up my search for you when you were gone, my love, because I've always known that it's you and me or nothing at all. You've given me and out, and I hate that it's even come to that. You have to know that I'm exactly where I want to be and I swear on the River Styx that everything I've said is truer than true."

During all of our time together, I don't know if she's ever poured so much raw emotion on me at once. I have no words. Thunder rumbles overhead, and I suddenly feel a wave of calmness wash over me. This is the conversation I've needed.

I suddenly feel like I'm back at Camp Jupiter on the day the other half of the quest arrived. There are so many things to think about, but in the moment, all that matters is the girl in front of me.

I take a step forward and so does she. I grab her face with my dirty hands but I don't care, she doesn't care, we don't care. I kiss her like it's the last time and gods, I hope there never is a last time. This is the love of my life. I've always known it, but something is different now. This kiss crushes the trust issues, the doubts and the fears into a fine powder. Maybe high school was the test we needed to strengthen our relationship, and I believe we'll be better for this.

I grab Annabeth and lift her up, carrying her to our room. She's slipped out of her clothes faster than I can take a breath and we start wrestling with mine. Once my shirt's been pulled over my head, she uses it to wipe the blood off of my cheek. I know she'll be asking what happened soon and I will tell her, but this matters more now. I pull the tie out of her hair and kiss along the side of her neck. I love her the way I always have, but something about the heat and the breaths and the strained grasp on the cool sheets makes this feel different. Maybe it's because we are different. Maybe not. It could just be the urgency to make up for lost time and make everything right again. Either way, we're here and it's happening and my life is right again.

I lay beside her, matching my heavy breaths to hers. We don't say anything for a little while and I think that's okay. Annabeth rolls over and leans against my chest. I squeeze her against me, maybe too tightly, and kiss her hair. Finally, she says, "Hey, remember twenty minutes ago when you tried to break up with me?"

I laugh and oh my gods, it feels so good. I kiss her, long and sweet, and life is good. Life is so fucking good. "Do you want to order pizza?"

"Do I ever," she grins. "I'll do that while you go shower and then we need to talk about what monster you ran into in the alley." When I shoot her a dark look, her eyes soften. "Wait, did you meet a monster in an alley?"

"We'll talk about it," I reply. I kiss her again and leave to shower. I remember something, though, before I make it to the bathroom. I grab my pair of pants off of the floor and pull her bracelet from the pocket. "Oh, yeah. I think this is yours."

I toss it over to her and she smiles, fastening it onto her wrist. I head to the bathroom, and when I look in the mirror, reality hits a little. I still have a euphoric sense of satisfaction, but I'm grounded a bit when I see the yellowing bruises and crusted blood on my face. I ran into a fucking Fury. A Fury! It talked to me. For some reason, I can't remember if Furies in, you know, Fury form, usually talk. Why did it have so much to say? Does it have anything to do with the dream I had at camp? Maybe it'll help to tell Annabeth.

I climb in the shower. The water stings in my cuts, but it eventually heals them up and I feel better. I can hear Annabeth outside on the phone ordering dinner and I decide that the bad things can wait. Life is finally okay again.

- - - - - - - - - -

Whew, this is probably a better chapter ending than the last few you've had, hey?

Seriously, thanks for sticking with me.

I'm rereading the series over quarantine and I just finished The Titan's Curse. The little parts about how Percy couldn't even express how he felt about the possibility of losing Annabeth whether it be to Atlas, Luke or even the Hunters is so fucking cute, I want to scream. If you want a feel good moment, reread chapter 19. Seriously. I forgot how much these books mean to me and how great they make me feel. I hope all is well on your end.

Thanks for 4k reads; stream heartbreak weather on spotify and apple music for clear skin!

Thank the gods for everything in your life that brings you happiness.

Love, tumblingupwards