Queen of the Moon

Part 7: Hopeless

It was supposed to be only a few days that I was to wait for my family to come rescue me. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into a month. I did my best to evade Cory and his mother's whims, Tuck would make Cory fall asleep so he couldn't touch me at all, and then he'd leave his sleeping body randomly about the palace or on the beach just for kicks and giggles. I wouldn't eat meals or I would fake eat them, and then get Heidi and some other servants I trusted to sneak me food that was not poisoned. But there were days I got caught and was forced to eat or drink, and the more I found ways around their tricks, the more tricks they came up with.

I found out soon that the queen and son had started to do some weird sex spells on me, to make me want to sleep with Cory. Except they didn't make me feel good or turned on at all. I would feel pulses and tingles all through my lower parts all day long with no relief and then my moods would go up and down from anxiety to random bouts of shame or anger or hopelessness. I couldn't sleep for fear of being fondled randomly about the night, always had to be on my guard. And the spells and poisons made it hard to keep anything down or digest it properly. My health was a mess. On top of feeling sick all of the time, it was hard to cope day by day. I missed just being able to be my normal self without all of these sicknesses, emotions and weird twitches being forced upon me.

It was like during the spaces of time when I wasn't being raped, my body was still being invaded and tampered with from afar without my permission. It was pretty much like being raped, all day long. And there was no one to talk to about it. Tuck would always be a compassionate ear but no one could truly understand how it felt to be me, how these sex spells felt on me, why my moods were always crazy. And worst of all, all of these crazy feelings and emotions made it difficult for me to get along with the people trying to help me. Mainly my betrothed, Andrew. He'd visit me when he could in spirit form at night times, when Cory was asleep. To give me updates on the battalion they were raising to come get me. It was always be patient, and soon, and we're doing the best we can. It was hard not to be frustrated. And hard to be romantic when every meeting ended in a fight.

Why did he even want me anymore? I would wonder. If I was a guy, I'd think, why inherit this problem that wasn't mine? She ran off with some other guy, okay, I'll find someone else. It was a clean break. Yet still he remained by my side. Even if I fought with him, he'd come back the next night, even if it was to fight with me again. I was starting to feel like I didn't even deserve his devotion. I don't even know what I did to deserve it to be honest.

I got sick of being a victim and so I decided to escape myself.

I couldn't go another day with being touched by that man. Heidi and her brother Kevin set it up. The best time to slip away would be during lunch, the royal family was normally distracted with daily business at that point. Nobody was really paying attention to what I was doing. Using stolen jewelry we paid off some knights we knew we could trust to take us on our daily walk and then let us go.

The plan definitely had a lot of holes in it but we were just doing the best we could to get out. But turns out the queen knew about the whole plan, I guess she has some sort of spy on me. They insisted I bring one of their most trusted knights along. We were forced to make a break for it. But needless to say we were caught and punished. 

And by punished, I mean I got the snot kicked out of me by several of the knights until the queen said to stop. Which was not for quite the while. I was then locked in the dungeon. Which was a blessing if that meant for the remainder of time while I was there, Cory wouldn't touch me and I wouldn't be poisoned, but of course that's not what it meant at all.

"Life can be worse than this, I'm going to show you," the Queen said, when she locked me in the dungeon. I flicked her off through the bars. I felt sore all over, but luckily nothing was broken. Just had huge bruises the sizes of shoe fronts.

To cheer me up, Andrew appeared a few moments after looking cross and I knew it was not going to go well.

"What the fuck..." he started.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said, covering my face, by putting my head in my knees.

"No, show me, I want to see," he said, reaching forward to move the strands of my hair away from my face.

"Leave me alone!" I shouted.

"How am I supposed to help you when you won't let me?" he shouted back.

"I don't need help right now, go away," I said.

"I'm not going away. I will never go away," he said, and then just sat beside me. Saying my name over and over until I responded. Sasha. Sasha. Sasha.

"WHAT!"

"What happened, tell me please," he said, now placing a hand on my back.

"I tried to escape," I said, with a heavy sigh, looking at him through strands of my hair.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?"

"It's not like YOU'RE saving me?" I said, gesturing around to the room to show that I'm still in the fucking Darkseas.

"I'm working on it. I've been working on it every fucking day. I've been living, eating and breathing trying to save you, trust me. It is all I have to think about," he said.

"How can I trust you when you break every promise you've made. For how long has it been a couple days from now, a couple days, a couple days. It's been weeks, almost months. Meanwhile every day I get to be touched by some strange man –" I started.

"Imagine how I feel? You think I enjoy knowing some other guy is touching my woman – " he said.

"Oh, poor you, you get to sit in your comfortable palace, eating your luxurious foods while I get poisoned daily, raped daily..." I started, putting my head in my knees again to start crying furiously. Tuck appeared besides me then, full sized human form to wrap his arms around me and beg me not to cry while Andrew just stood there blinking.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Tuck asked.

It was silent for a moment, which I found odd, so I looked up from my arms for a moment. He looked to be finding words to say, mouth opening and closing and then he just flickered away.

"What the fuck? He's just going to leave?" Tuck said.

"Just give him a break, it's gotta be hard on him. You know, if I were him I would've left by now anyway," I said.

"No, I don't agree with that at all, I'm sorry. He's in the wrong," Tuck said. I just put my head back in my knees. Tuck continued to rub my back and tell me everything was going to be okay until I fell asleep there.