Mat Barzal Imagines

All You Had To Do Was Stay

Warnings: Swearing/language, angst, rough breakup, mentions of depression

Word Count: 1.9k

"I can't do this anymore, Y/N."

You looked up from your phone and saw your boyfriend of a year and a half, Mat Barzal, standing in front of you.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you. What's up, babe?"

"I said, I think we should break up."

"What?" His words shook you to your core, so you took a moment to breathe in deeply before continuing. "What brought this on?"

"It's just that I...I..." Mat looked up at the ceiling as if it held all the answers. "I'm under a lot of pressure with practice and games, and you're so busy editing your novel..." he took a deep breath, "that I guess somewhere along the way, I realized it wasn't working."

"Wait a minute, are you saying this is my fault?"

"No, not at all," Mat looked guilty now. "I know you're under a lot of pressure too. Sure, it might be different than mine, but it's just as intense. I guess with the stress we're both under, I've been feeling disconnected from you."

"How long have you felt disconnected?" You lay back on the couch and crossed your arms, forcing yourself to take on a calm demeanor despite feeling like your world was being upended before your eyes.

"I don't know, two months?"

"Two months?" So much for keeping your cool. "You've felt disconnected from me for two months and you didn't think that was something you should tell me?"

"I didn't want to upset you."

You laughed, but there was no humor in it, only bitterness. "So you thought it would be better to bottle up your feelings until you couldn't take it and unleash them on me without any warning? News flash, Mat: I'm more upset now than I would've been if you came to me earlier."

"I'm sorry, Y/N..."

"And how the fuck am I supposed to try to fix things when you don't tell me something's wrong in the first place, huh?" You looked at Mat, whose facial expression was blank, and the pieces clicked together in your mind. "You don't want me to try and fix things, do you?"

He stayed silent, and that was how you knew you spoke the truth.

"So let me get this straight: I've been going out of my way to be there for you despite all the deadlines I have to meet while you were having doubts about our relationship?" Silence again. "Alright, fine. If you feel that way, get your shit out of your drawer and leave."

You gave him a cold stare before picking up the phone you had dropped on the couch next to you and typing in your passcode. After standing there for a moment, Mat walked into the bedroom.

You were so angry that you were seeing red, and the floodgates threatened to open any minute now, but you wouldn't (no, couldn't) let him see you cry. So you stared at some random news story on your phone until you heard him leave the bedroom and start walking toward the door. He was almost there when you opened your mouth. "I gave you everything and this is how you repay me?"

"Y/N..."

"Don't fucking look at me like that, Mathew," you snapped, seeing the guilt reappear in his eyes. "I opened up and let you in; you know how hard that was for me considering what happened in my last relationship. You've had me in the palm of your hand this whole time, but you don't love me enough to try and work things out."