Everything was still very vivid in my mind. Every single detail. Every single thought. Every single feeling that I've felt.
I couldn't find myself at that moment.
Yet six young men found me.
I've never thought it was real.
I've never thought Never...
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We were in the middle of corn fields when they decided to stop the car on the side of a deserted road. Literal na walang sasakyan na dumadaan.
"So, Plan B?" Baron was the one who broke the ice after a few minutes of silence since Drim shouted at us.
Matagumpay nilang nailayo ang van mula sa check point papasok ng Arthmy City. I couldn't be any more pissed. But more to myself than to them. Honestly, Carrie had a point earlier. Nakisakay lang ako sa sasakyan nila kaya wala akong karapatan na masunod sa kahit ano. That's why I am overly mad at myself. Because I got into this situation.
If there's a Plan B for them, for me, there's none. I've only got Plan A and that's to live alone on the west coast side of the country. I didn't know it was this hard to accomplish.
I fought back my tears. Para saan pa kung iiyak ako? Nawala na sa akin ang lahat. Hindi na maibabalik ng mga luha ko ang mga bagay na iyon.
Might as well just accept that life is indeed cruel. Especially to me. Cruelty lives to watch me suffer, I guess.
"Sorry. It's all my fault. I didn't check if there's a check point," amin ni Ferdy na mukhang stressed.
"I'll just get some air while you talk about your plan," mahina kong paalam bago lumabas ng van.
I only realized now how much of a hypocrite I was. I kept on thinking and accusing them on my mind that they're running away from whatever they did when in fact, I also got myself stucked into this mess in a stupid attempt to avoid my reality through doing the exact same thing I was accusing them of.
Nakakita ako ng may kalakihang bato sa isang tabi, malapit sa malawak na corn field, at nagpasyang doon umupo. Tiningala ko ang maulap na kalangitan. Nakalatag ang mga puting ulap sa asul na langit habang nagtatago ang araw sa likod ng mga ito.
Maski ang araw, kahit nakakubli na sa napakaraming ulap, litaw na litaw pa rin ang liwanag na dala-dala. Magtago man, malalaman at malalaman pa rin kung nasaaan.
Ayokong malaman nila kung nasaan ako. Ayoko na bumalik kahit kailan. Alam kong wala na rin naman akong babalikan.
All is lost.
But one thing stays with me and will always be; the memories of my Mom. It's the only thing that no one can ever steal away from me so I will treasure it deep within my heart. Kakapit ako rito. Makakaya ko ang lahat sa tulong ng gabay ni Mommy.
"Mom, if you're watching this stubborn daughter of yours up there, I need your guidance. Mas kailangan ko yata iyon ngayon kaysa nung bata pa ako," I muttered while looking at the glorious skies.
"Damay niyo na rin po kami sa guidance na hinihingi ni Eri. Tinutulungan naman po namin ang anak ninyo. Thank you in advance po," umupo sa gilid ko si Dru. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa mukha niya. He's stupidly smiling again.
