I Lived, Nerd【Katsuki Bakugou x Reader || Zombie Apocalypse AU】

【8】The Medicine Man of the Mall

One of the most random things I've ever written

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I started to awaken at this point. "How long have we been walking?"

"Technically, you haven't been walking!" Tenya corrected.

"Yeah, coming from the guy we had to carry," Katsuki snarled.

"Speaking of which—I promised you that I'd carry one of you next time if we were ever in the same situation again." He then looked at me. "(Y/N), I'll gladly carry you now!"

I thought about it. "Well, I don't want you to waste all your energy carrying me, Katsuki."

"I have plenty of energy, thank you very much."

"But I really don't mind!" Tenya persisted.

"Not on your life, Sonic the Knock-off-hog."

"I'm beginning to start thinking you don't trust me with your girlfriend. Or maybe it's HER you don't trust."

Katsuki delicately placed me on a comfortable lump of grass and then immediately started exploding in Tenya's direction. "STOP TALKING, ROBO BOZO!!"

Tenya flung in the air and said, "Hey! That last explosion you threw at me fixed my engines. Thanks, pal!!"

"Whatever, All Show No Go."

I was still on the grass, waiting for them to stop arguing when suddenly, I heard a boy say, "Have some tea, Mrs. Nesbitt."

The three of us turned to the noise and saw the most pitifully disturbing thing.

Deku had donned a pink apron, a straw hat, and was having a tea party with his All Might action figures.

"And just when I thought that boy couldn't get any more insane," Katsuki commented.

I then remembered Kyouka saying how he had been tossed around like a football. "Oh no. . .the Nomu must have caused him serious brain damage."

"M-Midoriya?" Tenya stuttered, at first not wanting to believe it was really Deku.

"Hello, little missy!" Deku greeted Tenya. "Have you seen my titanium All Might trophy? I seem to have misplaced it."

That settled it. Deku had finally lost his marbles.

"You mean this?" Tenya pulled it out of his pocket.

Katsuki snatched it, ready to hurl it at Deku when I stopped him and said, "Please, no. The boy can't afford any more brain injury."

"Mother? Is that you?" he asked Katsuki. "Did you get a blonde afro?"

At that point, even my boyfriend looked terrified.

"I'm not your mom, freak! I'm King Explosion Murder!"

Deku then looked at me and raised his plastic teacup. "Will you be my girlfriend? You're so pretty."

"Why does everyone think they can hit on my girlfriend just cuz it's the apocalypse!?" Katsuki shouted to the sky.

Deku started crying because his All Might action figure got dirt on it. So then, Katsuki exploded it.

"There, the dirt's gone!"

Deku's scream broke the sound barrier and I'm pretty sure that America could hear us.

"NO NEED TO FEAR—IS THAT A SCREAMING CHILD I HEAR?" echoed a voice from across the street.

This guy waltzed through a wall with. . .no clothes on and waved at us.