Your Voice (ON HOLD)

CHAPTER 11 : CLEF

| C h a p t e r 11: Clef |

I stared at Mi, she wasn't crying but it was worse. She had the same eyes that she wore before we started hanging out, lifeless. Maybe she really did lose a part of her. 

".. Can I ask what happened to him, Mi?" I slowly asked before adding, "But if you're not ready to talk about him, it's fine. I totally understand." 

She gave me a small smile and looked down, a tear dropped from her eye and fell on her lap, I lifted her chin a little bit and wiped her eyes. I couldn't help myself but kiss her eye. 

"You know, aside from my family.. I only had Matty. When I met him, we instantly clicked. He was everything that I wasn't but also the only person who shared the same and similar likes as I did." she paused and looked up, "Nakakamiss ka talaga, Matty." 

I stroked her back, not planning on putting my hand away from her. It felt comforting to know that there was someone one there who knew how I felt, that I'm not the only one who looks up and says 'I miss you'.

"He didn't die on the accident.." 

I stayed silent, giving all my attention to her. 

Then before she could finish what she was saying, her tears started to fall. "I killed him. I killed Matty... Clef, I killed him. It was all my fault.." 

Not even a little part of me believed that she did, because I also knew how that felt. When you lose someone you love and couldn't blame yourself that you could've done something. That you could've stopped from losing your loved one. 

"If only I wasn't the one driving the car, if only I had been careful!" then she broke down, I pulled her close to me and then next thing I knew, my tears started to form. 

She sniffed and took a deep breath, "I'm.. I'm sorry, I know, I came here to supposed to be comforting. Not the other way around, it's just.." 

"It's just that you opened the door to your emotions, naiintindihan kita, Mi.. And you being here, opening up to me like this.. It's helping more than you know." I finished what she was saying. 

She placed both her arms around my neck and pulled me closer, "I'm so scared of letting you in, Clef, nakakatakot kasi ang dali gumaan ng loob ko sa'yo. And what if you leave me too?" 

I hugged her closer and tighter. "I'm not leaving, Mi."

"Cause.. he left me. Matty left me and kasalanan ko din naman." she took a deep breath before continuing. "He got depressed and..." 

I stopped her from continuing, holding her even tighter. "We don't have to do this right now, Mi." 

When she started opening up about Matty, I never would've guessed how she lost him. He must've struggled and suffered a lot for him to do that. 

"I wish I could've helped him, you know.." she said.

I gave her a small kiss on her forehead, wanting to somehow and try to erase her worries and negative thoughts.

Then she looked at me, placed her hand on top of mine, "Your turn, Clef. What's bothering that beautiful mind of yours?" 

I gave her a weak smile, it wasn't like I was uncomfortable with telling her what I was feeling. It was just that, I didn't want her to feel bad or to see her look at me with pity. I was done with the pity party. 

"Dad's passing took a toll on all of us, me and Cres took it bad.. but mom, she took it worst out of all of us. Alam naman ng lahat ng tao kung anong love story nila, hindi ba? Our parents namin, they were both high school sweethearts. Sabi nga nila, not everyone is lucky to find their soulmates at a very young age.. but mom and dad did."