YOU 1 [Charli D'Amelio]

Chapter 68.

After class I say goodbye to Liam and walk straight to the professor to explain my absences. He congratulates me on my internship and explains that he moved the syllabus around a little. I try to keep our conversation going until Max exits the room.

I make my way back to my dorm and sit out all my notes and textbooks on my bed. I try to study but I am edge waiting for Addison, Max or one of the many other people who are always in and out of my room, to show up. I pack my study materials into my bag and head to my car. I will find a place to study off campus, maybe a coffee shop. I drive towards town and see a small library on the corner of a busy street, there are only a few cars in the lot so I pull in. I walk all the way to the back of the library and sit next to the window, I pull all of my books and notes out and get to work. For the first time, I can study in peace, no distractions. This will be my new sanctuary, the perfect place to study.

"Miss, we are closing in five minutes." The elderly librarian informs me. Closing? I look out the window and it is dark out, I didn't even notice the sun going down. I will definelty have to come here more often.

"Okay, thank you." I reply and pack up my things. I have one new text from Zayn.

*I just wanted to tell you goodnight, I can't wait for Friday.*

*That is very sweet, thank you. I am looking forward to it as well.* I reply.

Addison isn't in the room when I get back so I change into my pajamas and grab Wuthering Heights. I fall asleep quickly, dreaming of Heathcliff and the moors.

Thursday goes smoothly and Max ignores me during class and I do the same. I spend my evening at the library until it closes again and go to bed early, preparing for the bonfire Friday. I am really looking forward to meeting Liam's girlfriend tonight, and seeing Karen and Ken, I have grown quite fond of them. When I wake up on Friday I have a text message from Liam telling me that he won't be on campus at all today because Danielle will be arriving earlier than he thought. Skipping literature crosses my mind momentarily but I decide against it, I can't let Max ruin anything else.

I take a little more time to get ready today and braid the front of my hair back before curling it. The weather is supposed to be warm today so I wear a purple sleeveless fleece jacket and jeans. I still go to the coffee house before class, Louis is in front of me in line. Before I can walk away unnoticed, he turns around.

"Hey Charli." he smiles.

"How are you?" I ask politely.

"I'm good, you coming tonight?"

"To the bonfire?" I ask.

"No, the party. The bonfire is going to be lame, it always is."

"Oh, I am going to the bonfire." I laugh lightly and he chuckles.

"Well if you're bored at the bonfire you can always come to the party." he offers and grabs his coffee.

I thank him as he walks away. I am relieved that Max's group of friends seem to be uninterested in the bonfire which means I won't have to deal with any of them tonight. When it is time for Literature I walk right to my seat without a single glance in Max's direction. The discussion continues on Wuthering Heights but thankfully Max stays silent. I wish this ever present ache in my chest would go away, instead of shrinking it seems to get larger every moment of every day. I shouldn't have admitted to myself that I love her, if I would have kept ignoring the truth, maybe it would hurt less. As soon as we are dismissed, I gather my things and practically bolt to the door.

"Charli!" I hear her call behind me but I just walk faster. Without Liam here I feel more vulnerable. I feel a light touch on my arm. I know it is her from the way my skin tingles.

'What!" I shout. She takes a step back and holds out a notebook.

"You dropped this." She tells me. Oh. Relief and disappointment battle inside me.

"Oh thanks." I mumble and grab the notebook from her. Her eyes catch mine and it takes me a few seconds to remember that we are standing on a crowded sidewalk, just staring at one another. She shakes her hair out and pushes it back before she turns and walks away.

Without going back to my room first, I head to my car and drive straight to Liam's. I wasn't going to go until five and it's only three but I can't sit in my room. I really have gone mental since Max has came into my life.

When I arrive Karen answers the door with a huge smile and invites me in.

"It's only me here right now, Dani and Liam are at the store fetching a few things for me and Ken is still at work." She tells me and I follow her into the kitchen.

"That's okay, sorry for coming so early."

"Oh, don't be sorry. You can help me cook." She laughs. She hands me a cutting board and a few onions and potatoes to chop and we talk about the weather and the upcoming winter.

"Did you still want to help me get the greenhouse going? It is climate controlled so we don't have to worry about the winter." She tells me.

"Yes, of course! I would love to."

"Great, maybe tomorrow? Next weekend I will be busy." She laughs. Her wedding. I try to smile back at her.

"Yea, I'd say that" I laugh. I wish I would have been able to get Max to agree to go, but it was impossible then and it's even more impossible now. She smiles and puts the chicken into the oven.

"Is Max coming to dinner tonight?" She seems a little nervous when asking.

"No, she won't be coming." I tell her and look down.

"Are you guys okay? I don't mean to be nosy."

"It's okay." I might as well tell her. "I don't think we are okay."

"Oh, I am sorry to hear that. You two really had something, I thought. But i understand you can't be with someone who is afraid to show their feelings." She says. What?

"What do you mean?"

"Well I don't know Max as well as I wish that I did, but I know she is very closed off, emotionally. Ken used to stay awake all night worrying about Max. She has always been an unhappy child, she wouldn't even tell her mum she loved her." She says, her eyes glossy.

"What?" I say again.

"She just won't say it, I am not sure why. Ken can't recall a single time when Max said she loved either of them. It's truly sad, for Max as well." She blots her eyes. For someone who refuses to tell anyone, even her own parents that she loves them, she sure was quick to use the words against me in a hateful way.

"She is... she's very difficult to understand." Is all I can think of to say.

"Yes, yes she is. I hope you'll still come around if you two don't work things out."

"Of course." I tell her. Liam walks into the kitchen followed by a beautiful girl with curly hair. I knew she would be beautiful, but she is even more beautiful than I imagined.

"Hi, you must be Charli" She smiles and hugs me. I immediately like her.

"I have heard so much about you, it's nice to finally meet you." I tell her and she smiles again. Liam's eyes follow her as she walks past and takes a seat at the counter.