To Afentikó

Afetikó

    Well here we go.

    My mother was our lives foundation she was the glue that held us together, but she was also in some way influenced by him. Most of her was a molding of what he needed, when he needed it and for him specifically.

  The love she felt, the need he fulfilled was what keped her going she was the caregiver that fell in love and in someway it was good for not only her but for him aswell, they depended on eachother and maybe not in the same way.

  She depended on him emotionally while he needed her mentally and sometimes fisicaly in some wierd way she keped him sane for herself and still somehow loved something about him to motivate her to in some way keep him.

  I didn't know this before. I wasn't aware of this growing up, to me they were in love and that was all anyone really had to know.

    I knew my father as a loving husband and dad, always happy telling sappy jokes and finding new ways to keep us entertained till the day I left, he tought me not only how to drive but how to cook, he was amazing, wich is why I didnt doubt that he was going to figure out what our uncle had done.

   What I didnt anticipate on was our mother passing and him derailing, that was the beginning of my sisters misery that's when I lost them completely, at one point when I had a leave at work I came to see if they were doing good only to find out they had moved. And no matter how hard I tried I could not find them.

  Now I know why, now I know exactly what went wrong and where it was that my sisters life started to spiral down. It took me a while to understand what exactly it was that keped me from finding them or her, specifically Ally I had no idea Lana existed and now I have to find a way to talk to them, to make them listen with out taking away their choice. I have to make them belive they are letting me explain myself.

   I cant belive I let Kenny drag me into this, I hate desk work and from now on that's all I'm gonna be doing. Sitting in this office and doing paperwork, as if that wasn't enough for me to suffer with but I dont only have to do what ever comes in from this point foward but also what ever wasn't done before I took the position.

Apparently the guy before me was worst than anyone had thought, there are cases filed that weren't even solved or looked over. I have no idea how he got away with such things but theres no time to sit and dwell over it.

   I couldn't belive they were thinking about me for the position, apparently the fact that I managed to complete our last assignment was impressive. I told them it wasn't only me but they said I was the team leader and the rest were technically following my orders.

  I still think it wasn't a one man job, theres alot I didnt do sure they were following mostly my order but theres a chain of command I was following his, not that I am proud of it cause I'm really not. If anything i feel nothing but disappointment. Sure we got the job done but at what cost, I gave into the unethical, irresponsible order of or boss and because of that I lost way more than I gained. And it pains me to admit it but I deserve nothing but what I'm getting.

  I dont want to be here and they know it so they are giving me a 3 month trial run, if by the end of the 3 months I want to stay the position is mine if not they'll find some one to replace me, all I really want is to get my family back and explain to them what had happend.

  My sisters deserve to know what really went on, sure they know what happened to them and the actions my uncle was taking and the lack of action from my father but theres always so much more we aren't able to see or that isn't showed to us. I know that isn't gonna change anything in our relationship but hopefully it can heal something inside them even if it is the smallest of things.