To Afentikó

I'm Sorry

  I raise my phone for the 10th time today and bring it to my ear to wait for the call to be answered knowing deep down that no matter how many times I try she's not going to give me the time of day.

The anxiety is eating at me, I should have made this call weeks ago. I should have called the minute she found out. I wanted to so badly run after her ask for her forgiveness, show her that yes I made a mistake and yes I had other choices and ways of doing it but chose the easy way out. I didnt fight for them, I didnt speak my mind, I should have, but I didn't. But now I want her to know that I understand why she was so angry. I understand why shes been pushing me away and now I want and need to fix out relationship. Shes, no, they are my sisters and from now on I'm planing on putting them first.

I was ready to hang up the phone and maybe try later but to my surprise the phone stops ringing and I get a small 'Hello' from the other end.

  "Last night I watched as an ambulance drove two high school children to the hospital. A couple that might become parents in a couple of months. His dad found out and decided that his son was meant for more and he took it upon himself to eliminate the person that he thought would hold his son back."

I hear her release a breath and I drop my head in shame.

"It took that for me to realize that there were no excuses. There was nothing that I could say to justify my actions, even if it was an order issued by the President himself I should have said no and I'm sorry Ally. Please allow me a couple of minutes to clarify some things for you."

I wait for a response back from her and just when I think she wont say anything she does.

"Why should I? And why are you really calling James?"

"I miss you guys, I know we didnt really spend much time together and I know I dont deserve your forgiveness but let me work for it. Let me show you that I mean what I say. That I know now that I was wrong and let me show you how much I want to be a part of your family."

"Cain called me today asking if I was gonna make it there by tomorrow, said you were supposed to call me." I rake my hand through my hair trying to find the right word to reply.

"Yes but I didnt think you would answer, and even if you did I didnt want to bring you back into this."

"That's your problem. You think you can do everything, make every decision and solve all your problem by yourself. If you would have talked to me about what you were doing or how I could have helped I would have done it and I wouldn't have had to go through all that pain again James."

"I know, I know, I messed up. And I'll keep messing up I'm not saying I wont I'm just saying no matter what I do and what the outcome is I never want or wanted for you to get hurt."

Theres more silence and this time if it wasnt for her breathing I would have thought she had hung up on the call.

"Ally I cant say or do anything to make you forgive me or give me another chance, that is and always will be your decision. But you're my baby sister and you guys are the only family I have. Would you be willing to meet up with me theres something I would like to talk with you and Ally about. It's about mom and dad."

"Your gonna have to wait till I get back from Cains." I smile taking the small victory.

She might have not forgiven me but this is a big step shes allowing me in even if it's just a little.

"I can wait. Ally, I failed you more than half of your life and then again when you decided to reveal yourself to me and I'm going to for ever be sorry and try to make up for it. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you, for answering, for helping me with the case, for accepting to meet up with me."

  The moment she told me who she was that day at the diner I was sure I would loose her for ever when she found out who I was and why we were sitting at the same table. The call I made that evening was to my superior who gave me detailed instructions of what I would do.

  He thought that having Nemesis stay with Allys friend would have given us time to dig deeper in to her affairs, or so he said, now I know he only wanted me to catch Reaper and didnt care who he would have to hurt to get to him. The reason why we will never know but it seems almost impossible to think that he didnt really care about the people who were being abducted and sold. Girls being handed to man more than twice their age and that wasn't what he was trying to solve.

  That's the reason why he had Kevin locked up. The cameras showed him around the building just after the time of death of the one guy he had been playing cat and mouse for years with. What was a relive for me was his undoing, he got sloppy after not being able to rid of the one person he had been trying to catch and assumed the one person that had been casually strolling towards his bike -after comiting the murder he would the be brought in for-  was the person that had robbed him from his victory.

Sure in a sence he was right to bring Kevin in, actually he was more then right he had a lead but that us besides the point. I learned during the completion of the case that my family had to always come first and that's why when Kenny came to see me that night at the bar and beg me to take the job after explaining what had happend and what my sister where going through I knew there was really no option but to actually do good by them for ones.

And here I am. Sitting in a chair that does not really belong to me, in an office that causes nothing but distaste and anger to crawl up my back and strangle me half to death.

"I know I haven't really lived up to my roll as your older brother but I'm trying to change that. You guys are my  sisters and from now on the only thing that matters most to me." I look around the dark room and feel nothing but hate towards the one thing that was at some point my greatest love. But after costing me the only family I have there's nothing but hate left in me towards it.

This building.

These people.

This job.

Will never be half of what Ally and Lana are and should have been to me from the very beginning. The most important people in my life.

"I'll see you in a couple of days. Text me the time and place when you get back and we'll meet there."

After a quick farewell the call is ended and I can't help but feel the need to jump up and down at my small victory. At our small victory. This does nothing but motivate me to keep trying.