Seduce and Destroy | Tom Riddle

Thoughts and poems //unedited

Chapter seven
¦1943, 9 october¦

I sat on the nearest bank feeling the cold autumn wind through my hair and I took a deep breath. After more than two weeks, my life was extremely boring. Everyday I was doing the same things over and over again. I was spending most of my time in the library reading Defence against dark arts books or history about the four founders of Hogwarts, but only one interested me. The cunning Salazar Slytherin. With a lot of power and hate towards muggles, the founder quickly built a reputation among all wizards. Besides this, he was a pureblood in every sense of the word. He had a dark hatred in everything that had nothing to do with the Wizarding World and filth like the mudbloods, like me especially.

Besides my searches, sometimes I'd hang out with Ruth and Thorn. He was really intelligent and funny and it amused me how much he loved Quidditch. However, Thorn was a seventh year and he was quite popular and he wasn't with us most of the time. I was spending a lot of time with Ruth and I thought I could call her my friend. She was the loudest voice in the room wherever she was. Her conversations were buoyant and intended to be heard. There was something of the unsatisfied thespian in her. Everyone knew she was crazy about potions within moments of meeting her, like it was her most favourite badge by which to identify herself. On every subject she was opinionated and if you didn't agree with her she wasn't angry, she just pitied you for not understanding the "correct" way to think about it. Ruth and Thorn were nice people, but they weren't Harry or Ron. I knew it was selfish for me to think that way, but the sadness and guilt were still haunting me. I have never been able to make new friends, I always had Harry and Ron. We were partners in everything and we escaped every mission alive until Harry did not. With him always in my mind, I was not willing to approach anyone, because I knew that when the time comes, I would be back in my time or dead. I always considered that Tom Riddle could kill me in a flich of the wand if he would find about my true identity and my blood status. He hated muggles and especially mudbloods, just because his father was an big asshole.

I have the chance to save, I thought, but I didn't know how I was going to save them. I had lied to myself for a mounth that I had a plan, but the truth was that I didn't have nothing. Could I really kill Tom Riddle? After all, that was the logical way. Kill Tom and save thousands of lives, but I was not going to make Tom Riddle to pay blood with blood. Another voice was telling me to change him so he wouldn't become a monster in the end, but that was the hard way. Could I really change Tom Riddle? He wasn't speaking with me and I was sure that my story didn't fit for him. At least he hadn't killed anyone so far. Myrtle was still alive and he didn't split his soul in two. I was sure that professor Slughorn didn't told him about hocruxes yet.
After the project, I haven't talked with Tom. I thought that he was avoiding me, but I didn't find any reasons for his behavior. He always seemed busy, beeing the best student wasn't just praises and admiration, and all the professors were giving him assigments and more homeworks than the rest of us, but it didn't seem to bother him. He actually liked to work on assigments in the late hours of the night. Usually I was seeing him in the library absorbed by his work and somewho I admired him. He really was gifted.

What was more, outside the library he was never alone. He always was surrounded by his friends - if I could call them that - and some silly girls that were throwing themselves at him. I couldn't hate them, after all, Tom bloody Riddle was handsome.

Doing my researches, I had a lot of reasons to belive that his friends were actually his followers. Abraxas Malfoy was a Knight of Walpurgis and I was spending a lot of time with him since we met in September. He really was something. I knew I couldn't trust him, but I enjoyed his presence. He had a carefree and childish personality and it was contagious. I hated that he was calling me Grace and it was frustrating, but with him I was truly laughing and I was forgetting all my worries. I'd like to say that I was doing what I need to, approaching someone from Tom's group, but Abraxas was a distraction from everything and I started to see him as a real friend.