Lucid

Chapter One

Alyssa takes off her shirt, dropping it on the ground, maintaining eye contact with me. My cheeks flush as my arousal grows. She walks over to where I'm sitting on the bed and climbs on my lap, straddling me.
I can feel myself growing beneath her. She notices, smiling softly. She wraps her arms around my neck; she runs her hands through my hair. "It's okay, Miles," she says, "kiss me."
My eyes flash open as my alarm sounds. It takes me a few seconds before I can comprehend that I need to get up and get ready for school. I can't miss my first day of junior year. I groan at my erection and cover my face with a pillow.
Why can't I get her out of my head? I can't ruin our friendship just to get this off my chest. I can't bear hearing her try to nicely turn me down. I have to make her seem... unattractive.
I imagine her lying in bed sick, but I immediately imagine myself taking care of her in our apartment together.
I imagine what she'd look like if she ran a marathon: a beautiful, hot, sweaty, sexy woman with wild hair.
FUCK.
How does she make sweat sexy?
I get showered and dressed then go downstairs, swinging my bag over my shoulder. "Miles? Breakfast?"
I grab a banana. "Happy?" I say with sarcasm. She rolls her eyes at me, tucking one of her coily red curls behind her ear and placing a hand on her hip. I close the door behind me and jog over to the bus, catching it right before it leaves.
Alyssa raises her eyebrows at me, amused that I almost missed the bus. I walk down the aisle. She's by the window, as always, with her grey backpack holding my seat. She shoves her backpack onto the floor to make room for me. I sit down, throwing my backpack in front of her feet like she had done to me.
"You're late," she hums.
"Not technically. I didn't miss the bus and I'm not arriving to school late."
She sticks out her hand, open-palm, waiting for me to pay her. I groan in defeat. I reach over her to grab my backpack from the bus floor, purposefully crushing her more than what's needed to retrieve my backpack.
I pull out my five dollar bill and place it in her hand. "Thank you, kind sir," she teases. "I knew you'd be late." She unbuttons one of the top buttons on her peach long-sleeved shirt. My eyes widen; is this really happening?
She puts the cash in her bra. I swallow hard, quickly averting my eyes before she catches me staring.
"Why are your cheeks red?" she asks.
I clear my throat. "Um, I don't know. My cheeks do that some time."
She laughs. "Dork. Are you gonna eat your banana?" she asks, wondering why I'm still holding it. My stomach remains dormant. "I know you don't get hungry until an hour after you wake up. Unless over the summer your stomach reinvented itself."
"You know me so well," I admit, handing her the banana, assuming she wants to eat it.
She peels the banana from the bottom, like always. She peels off all the little strings that stick to it, then slowly takes a bite. I find myself getting aroused as she eats the banana. HOLY SHIT what is wrong with me?
Stop sexualizing everything, she's just having breakfast! My absence of hunger in the morning must only apply to food. Oh my god SHUT UP!
I grab my backpack and place it on my lap. To avoid confrontation, I turn my head to the right and look around at everyone else on the bus. "Why is your backpack on your lap?"
I unzip my bag and start rummaging through it. "Uh, looking for something," I lie, still searching my bag, feigning interest.
"What is it? I'll help look," she says, reaching for my bag.
"No!" I say too loudly. I grip my backpack tighter to prevent her removing it from my lap. I can feel the blood still burning hot in my cheeks. "Um, it's actually not a big deal. I'll just look for it later."
She puts the banana peel in a Ziploc bag she keeps in her backpack for trash when there's not a trashcan nearby. "Why are you keeping the backpack on your lap?" she asks, sensing that I'm hiding something.
I'm not sure what I can possibly say right now to get out of this situation. I close my eyes and think about something not sexy: basically anything that doesn't have to do with her.
"Ohhhhh," she says, finally getting it. She blushes a little. "It's okay, I understand. And don't feel embarrassed. I'm your best friend. Plus, you're forgetting I have a thirteen-year-old brother, remember? Unexpected boners have become expected in my household. "
So, she doesn't think it has to do with her? I let out a deep breath, continuing to think about something non-arousing. I throw my bag on the ground. "Oh, that wasn't what happened," I say, trying really hard to sound casual.
"Then what did happen because you have to admit that that was weird."
"Let's just not talk about it," I say, heat rising to my cheeks again. She shrugs it off, not wanting to make me uncomfortable. Thankfully, the bus arrives at school.
I slide out of the seat, swinging my backpack over my shoulder. "Wanna ditch first period?" she asks. I furrow my brow, stepping one tiny step forward in the aisle, impatient and anxious to get off the bus. Alyssa never ditches school. "Kidding."
She smiles brightly, her beautiful full lips coated with a thin layer of what I'm guessing is lipgloss. Her smile seems to brighten up the room. She's always... glowing.
We finally get off the bus, stepping out onto the concrete, the rays of sun from above gleaming down on us. She looks around at all the buses, her cheeks a light shade of crimson.
"Did you miss this?" I ask her as she continues to take in the scene: tired hormone-riddled teenagers moping, buses screeching as they dump off a load of stoners unprepared for school, freshmen squealing with excitement, teachers refreshed and ready-to-work... the usual first-day-of-school vibe.
She sucks in air through her teeth. "Yes. I'm so thankful for my life, you know? I mean look at this! Free education! School buses."
"Where is this coming from?"
She shrugs. "I don't know," she says, flipping some of her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder, unaffectedly. "I'm just thankful. I'm at peace, you know? All things that are good must end, someone once said, I think. But you know what? That's a lie. All things that are bad must end. Everything bad is ending. I'm free. Plus, Eyes Wide Open released their latest album!"
She says she'll send it to me. I laugh, knowing that she's aware I don't like her favorite band. But I'll bare through the pain anyway. Anything for her.
We stop at the East entrance door. I pull it open for her. She smiles, signing thank you to me as she enters. The air conditioning gushes past me, causing my curly black hair to dance on my head.
She turns around, laughs, and fixes my hair.
"There," she says, gently touching the freckles on my warmed cream skin. For just a minute, our eyes connect in a way that they haven't before.
Her green eyes are serious and deep, pleading almost. Her eyes call out to me, begging me for something, yet I'm not sure what for. She quickly pulls away, smiling like before.
"Hurry up we're going to be late!"
She practically skips through the halls. My eyes are trained on her, enveloped in her every move.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asks.
I shrug and attempt to shake off the effect she has on me. "Like what?" I say, shrugging again, probably looking ridiculous.
"Like you wanna get in these jeans," she says, motioning to her pants. My cheeks light on fire.
"No, I wasn't, I mean, I don't-"
"Woah! Chillax Miles, I'm kidding. No one likes me like that. It was a joke."
"There are a lot of people who like you like that. Why wouldn't they?" I start, hoping she'll realize that she is very wanted, in more ways than one. She completely dodges my question, bumbling through the halls again.
I drop it, following her as she leads us further into the halls, further into the school, and further into this mess of feelings I have for her.