Response || Malum || (Sequel to Reaction)

2

Today I got up the same as any other day as of late. I woke up, searched for Calum in the sheets and crashed into the harsh reality that he still isn't here with me. My fist slams against the mattress as I decide to get up and stop torturing myself this way. Every morning I look for him regardless of the fact that I know he's not here. Since the day I met him, literally, he's slept with me almost every single night and now I'm having trouble going back to the way things were before. I never wanted to go back to my life before Calum but I really wasn't left with a choice. Somehow, every night, I find him in my dreams. He's always there waiting for me on the other side of consciousness to guide me to a better place.

Seeing him yesterday was painful. I don't know if I was expecting some tearful, romantic reunion fit for a novel, but it sure would've been nice. Things were tense, awkward and nothing like I ever expected. There has never been a time I hated silence when it came to Calum but yesterday was it. I guess I sort of knew that he'd want to move on once he found himself but I didn't know it would hurt this damn bad.

Even with the throbbing pain in my chest I crawled from my bed to start another day of packing. I don't even bother changing my clothes I just tug a beanie over my head and leave my room. Most everything has been boxed away except for the necessities, my books and of course Calum's room. I left it just the way he had, unable to move a single thing. If I packed it all away, it was over. If his stuff was packed into a box then we were done and I wasn't ready for that. Our relationship is a book that I never wanted to end but eventually I suppose it had to.

My knuckles are white as I grip the door knob to Calum's room. He said he'd be by to get his things so I suppose I should box them up now. With a deep breath my hand turns the doorknob and I'm stepping into the only safe place I have right now. Some of his clothes are still in the closet, his sheets still the same and his pillow holds the scent of his skin. I admit that I come in here often, I just can't bear to touch anything except his bed. Most nights I find myself lying in his bed, savouring the feeling he left behind. The sheets just don't feel the same without him but at least the pillow smells like him.

I sighed again and grabbed the empty box that I had brought in here a couple days ago when I though I had gathered the guts to pack his things. I took the box with me over to his dresser where there were bottles of cologne and bracelets scattered on top. There was a picture frame that the picture had been taken out of it and I wondered what the picture was off. I shook my head placing the random items in the box before moving to his drawers. Most of the clothes was gone but there were some shirts and shorts left tucked away. Without a second thought I yanked out the clothes, sending a black box flying to the floor.

"Ugh." I growled to myself as I knelt down to grab the velvet box from the carpet.

I didnt want to open it but the curiosity was eating at me like a carnivore on meat. Slowly my fingers tugged open the lid to reveal a small black necklace inside. I ran my index finger over the cold metal of the guitar shaped pendant and traced its outline. Why did Calum leave this behind? I turned over the pendant against the satin pillow it was on and found something engraved on the back.

M+C

Together

The words were like poison against my heart and I swallowed hard. Together. That was obviously a thing of the past since all we've been through and no wonder Calum left this behind. Ive spent so much time suppressing my anger towards Calum because I really shouldn't be angry but I am. I mean who wouldn't be. The love of my life walked out on me and was gone for six months, how could I not be a little hurt. I wanted him to get help and become a better person but I didn't want him to walk out on me.

I closed the box and tossed it in with the other things so I could get back to packing things away. I was leaving in two weeks and I just need to get my shit together. Just as I was rolling up the posters from Calum's walls, I heard someone knocking on the door. It was probably Luke. I must say, I'm very thankful for my best friend. Especially the past six months, he's been so helpful with everything. My sock clad feet patted down the hallway and whoever it was knocked again when I rounded the wall towards the door.