Response || Malum || (Sequel to Reaction)

8

Calum's POV

It's always insane to me how much our brains can process, or not process, all at once. Even when I feel like I have a million of thoughts burning holes in my brain, I feel like nothing is happening. It's almost as if my mind is the eye of a monstrous storm, as calm as a spring day. Except its not calm. That bares no resemblance to the mess that is my head. I feel everything at once yet, nothing.

I've been on edge all week just waiting for today. Today is the day we meet with Trevor to essentially debut our band. All week we've been practicing and practicing, only stopping for work and sleep. It's not that I'm doubting our abilities because I think we sound good, it's just, what if they don't like us? I mean it shouldn't really matter what people think of us but in this industry it really does matter. If someone with enough power doesn't like us then we could be kicked off the grid completely. Then what do we do? It's not like we can just pack up and go crawling back home, this is our home now. It's terrifying that this young our lives are spread out in front of us and we are supposed to make decisions that will make or break us.

Showering without Michael just doesn't feel right but he's on extra edge today. He's barely said two words to me this morning and when I went down to get coffee he was being rude to Luke. He's always mean to Luke but today it seemed worse. Ashton has been the mediator between all of us and I'm so thankful for that. When Michael gets nervous, he gets irritable which in turn makes him say things he doesn't mean. I try to let them roll of and not let them be absorbed by the heart on my sleeve but I'm tired of getting snapped at. I mean, I get it, this is our future. All I'm trying to do is help us out too. I don't want this to fail, it's our dream.

"Calum! Come on we are gonna be late!" Michael's voice shouted from the bathroom door along with annoying knocking.

I took a deep breath and shut off the water before climbing out in search of a towel. I wrapped one around my waist before the knocking started again. I wish he'd just calm down, we are all nervous for today. with an annoyed sigh I scooped up my clothes from the floor and turned to leave the bathroom or at least make the knocking stop. I yanked back the door, separating it from Michael's knuckles and glared at him. I can honestly say I didn't miss him pestering me while I was in the bathroom.

"I heard you the first hundred times you knocked." I snapped and pushed past him to go to my bedroom. As much as it pained me, we slept in separate rooms last night.

"Sorry I just..." He trailed off and I turned around from my dresser to see him standing in the doorway.

"You don't have to monitor me in the bathroom anymore Michael. I'm clean remember?" I snapped again holding up my wrist and Michael look wounded. I suppose he's not the only one that says mean shit when he's grouchy.

"That's not why I was doing it." He pouted and I could tell he was only half serious.

"I know I'm sorry." I apologized while I tugged some clean boxers up my legs. We were due to leave in twenty minutes so I really should hurry before Michael gets even more antsy.

"We uh, we leave in twenty minutes." He alerted me, shaking off the awkwardness that had fallen over this conversation.

"I know I'm almost ready." I assured him, pulling a decent shirt over my head. We had discussed our image as a band and we decided to just be ourselves but not be too grungy. We wanted to look nice but not too put together.

"I'll be downstairs." Michael said before leaving me to finish getting ready. I dug through one of my drawers in search of my favorite bracelet when my hand touched a familiar box.

I scooped up the box to take a look at the necklace I had bought for Michael ages ago. I had left it behind and it was in the boxes of things I picked up from the apartment. For some reason I hid it even despite the fact I knew Michael had seen it. It's really lame but I really should just give it to him.