Wishing for something more // Book two

Chapter 28

I knew what my mistake was when i realized that when kissing Ryan was a bad idea from the start. I don't know what i just did and i'm pretty sure that i wouldn't know how to explain in it to Vincent.

I glanced at Ryan who was sleeping in the front seat of my car, while i silently drove him to my caben where i left oscar, though i'm not sure if he's still there and if he is it would be so dangerous but I have no choice, I can't leave him in at hotel where they would automatically find him.

"what is wrong with you quinn, get it together." I mumble to myself, he begins to twitch and I get focus on the road. He wakes up and smiles at me."what time is it?" he asks, " i'm not sure," i reply parchly.  "where are we going," he askes." my cabin, where we left oscar." i couldn't stop thinking about the kiss and how badly i messed up because i was only thinking about myself.

"we can't go there, he'd kill me." He says raising his voice, it was the only thing i hated. When he rose his voice at me. "just stop!" i said,pulling over to the curb and he stays silent. "stop saying that word! stop saying you love me, just stop all of this nonsense!!" I shout looking at him.

His expression changed, he knew where I was going with this. " you don't love me! you never gave the same love that I gave, otherwise we wouldn't be here!"I started to panic and all i needed right now was Vincent not Ryan. He leaned in to hold me but i hesitated," don't touch me right now, please." I could feel him being worried about me.

"We can't do this. I can't do that to him. I love him. I kissed you but it wasn't real for me, i thought that if i kissed you deeper i would feel the things that i did when we were together but i just didn't!"

I can feel the tension in the car getting stronger. All he did was listen to me bring him down like i've did this past year." I know you love him." He softly says, surrendering and finally moves himself away from me.

I gently look up at him as he looked out the window." I can see it in your eyes, the way you light up everytimes you're with him. You were never like that with me." suddenly I felt guilty for the harsh words that came out of my mouth.

"I was," my voice weakened." I loved you so much, that when I realized I lost you forever, dead or alive it broke my heart to pieces. Even when I was with Vincent I still thought of you when i hated you for months.  You were my first love. I hated you so much because of what you put all of us through. I'm helping you because i don't want to say goodbye, goodbyes are for people who die. And i don't...I don't want you dead." I sobbed.

He wiped my tears, " I won't die-". The impact of the car hitting us from behind was a force i can never explain myself. I can feel all of the glass hitting my skin and i felt Ryan grab my hand as the car flipped. 

  As soon as we hit the ground, Ryan was unconsious from his head hitting the dashboard. I looked at him as my whole body was sore and stuck, I began to scream."Ryan..get up!" i shouted, his eyes were shut, he wasn't responding but he was breathing."RYAN!" i sobbed and i heard footsteps coming from behind me, i started to panic. "ryan please get up.." i couldn't feel anything. 

All of the sudden, someone up the door to his side and started dragging him out."hey, no what are you doing?!" I said, it was a face unidentified, my vision was blurry and i couldn't get a good look at his face. " HEY! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" i screamed. My phone began to buzz, it was Vincent again for the 11th time tonight, my phone was cracked and full of blood.  

     "he belongs to me." An unidentifed voice, It was so deep and sharp, my ears began to ring." I wanted to scream again, but all i felt was my soul leaving my body. Everything felt so queer, the last thing I saw was red and blue faded lights."ryan.." I cried before losing breathe.