Wishing for something more // Book two

Chapter 3

 Quinn's p.o.v

This wasn't happening. Stuck in between letting myself die in front of 25 juniors or letting time pass by as i glum through my seat in sorrow with a soon to be killer ex boyfriend sitting behind me.

It wasn't the fact that i saw his face, or that i thought he'd be gone for good and leave me alone, it was because i thought that i wouldn't have to worry anymore. Everything that happened was because of him, my unforgiving trust, my way to push people away; it was all because i fell in love with a guy who i knew nothing about.

And it's my fault.

 The bell rings, i gathered my things and before i knew it he was the first one out the door. Zamoria and Vincent walked up to me, feeling sorry for me. I can tell. Their face says it all.

"Quinn you must be.." she didn't finish her sentence. I can fell Vincent's hand slip on my back, trying to comfort me, i don't say a word. " look, let's just get this day over with and we can talk about it later at lunch or after school." Vincent breaks the silence, i nod and we all just walk away making us the last people to leave class.

xxx

 We ate lunch at our usual spot. The football field. I hadn't spoken all day, it was because if i did some things that i would say, i wouldn't mean, then i'll have to explain it and they just won't understand.

 We all sat on the bleachers, muching our lunch watching Dylan and his Soccer team practice, cheerleaders also practicing for the upcoming game." so, is anyone going to tell me why i saw Ryan today in the hallway, looking like a hot mess but smelling clean?" Hunter asked as he took a sip of his chocolate milk.

"Hunter, nows not the time." Zamoria looked at me as i was picking on my food. I know i should care less because i'm with Vincent now and that's never going to change anything or how i feel about him but i'm just so angry and shocked in so many levels i can't even find the words to describe it.

" oh, right, but i thought he was gone for good. I mean all he did was stare at me for a few seconds. He has the angry look, he looked like he hasn't slept in days. Should i talk to him?" Hunter asked, i looked at him.

"no." was all i said, everyone looked at me like if i was a baby saying their first words. "Quinn's right, he's even more incensed now then he was before he was trying to kill his mafia uncle." Vincent announces. 

I glance at him as he spoke, they are trying to protect me from him, protect me from this situation when they should be protecting themself.

 I took a deep breathe before speaking." let's just let it go. if he wants to talk, he'll talk to me. Don't get yourself caught up in this mess, we all almost died last time doing it, Vincent got shot and i don't want that to happen again, so let it go. I brought myself upon mess so it should be my job to end it." 

I grabbed my tray and went down the bleachers and walked away.

"what? no! there is no way you are doing this alone, who knows what he can be capable of and i don't want anything happening to you." Vincent followed me as i stormed off inside throwing my tray away.

  I turned on my heel, making him bump into me." Quinn are you out of your mind?" the worry in his voice starts to show, trying to keep a straight face without breaking down again i replied, "So what if i am? i've been out of my mind since junior high, and i'm not proud of it. but you for goodness sake got shot! you are so lucky to be alive and you want to put yourself at risk again? this is my fault, my fight and if i'm going to end it i'm going to do it right."

I can see his facial expression change, like he wanted to give up but he didn't." you are too, you've gotten shot too so what's the difference? " i was on the edge of throwing myself off a building. Getting myself into messes and giving up trying to fix them, only to leave marks.