LEILA

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

He was bad at this talking thing, i could tell that. Even in past when we used to talk, he never said much about himself, he would just sit there and listen to me.

"I don't know where to start." He muttered running a hand through his hair.

"Start from the start." I said as i held his hands in mine. Maybe he has hoping that i would say he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to, but i needed to know.

"Amanda and i were friends since we were little basically because our parents were friends. We grew up together, went to same schools till high school. She has been like this all her life, obsessed with things and people but mostly me. She would act like she didn't care but behind my back she would go to limits to get people away from me that she thought were coming between her and me. Once when were in high school, she literally burnt a girl's car down because we were kinda talking. You know, i liked it in the beginning, having someone who wants you to no limits but it just became too much for me, it was suffocating. But we were still friends, i never thought of her in a romantic way but she has told me her entire life that she loved me. We were so close and i don't even know why. She knew everything about me. Our parents didn't know about it, obviously. They thought we liked each other and eventually end up getting married in future. But after high school we went our separate ways and didn't have any contact mostly because i didn't want her my life anymore." He said within looking up at me.

I opened my mouth to speak something but then closed again. I didn't know what to say.

"But then when i came back to New York after college i was stunned by how much she had changed, physically. I was attracted to her but i still had no feelings for her. It was just casual sex until everyone around me started saying how good we looked together and all that. I never had a relationship with anyone in past, i didn't know how it was supposed to be. I thought like maybe we can be together after all." He said and the hold i had on his hands loosened.

"Look up at me." I said and she shook his head but he still have courage to look me in the eyes.

"I broke up with her after i saw you in the school." He said and i looked at him bewildered.

"We met like once!" I interrupted him.

"Yes but that one time was enough for me to realise what it truly feels when you like someone." He said.

"Go on."

"That day when you saw me with Amanda, i was breaking up with her. And then all this shit happened with Connor and my sister has always been a trouble. I was not in the right mind and then when you came to stay at my place i had a huge fight with Amanda. She thought you were coming between her and me. She went all crazy. The day you came to my office and i told Vincent that i won't be seeing you anymore, it was because i knew Amanda had complete control over my manager. I don't know how she does it but men can't help but do what she says. I knew if i said that to him, he was definitely going to tell her. I don't know how she manages to control everyone around her. She is psycho. I went to her place one day to talk and i found your pictures. Pictures of you out, eating, with your friends and even while sleeping. I was scared for you Leila. I knew she was going to harm you and that's why i did what i did. I thought maybe you and i were never meant to be together." He sighed.

"That's bullshit. You could've told me or gone to police. You didn't have to do that." I exclaimed.

"I know. Damn! i know. But she disappeared all of a sudden. Her mom said she was sick, she needed help. Her family didn't say where she had gone, i was confused and there was a lot of pressure on me of work, of family. I thought maybe she's gone for good."

"You could've contacted me then."

"How? How could i have gone back to you Leila. After everything i did to you?" He asked.

"I would have listened, i would've understood Brad." I said.

"I know you would've. Do you see how fucked up that is? How fucked up i am? I either end up hurting myself or the people around me. I can't change, even when i try so hard to."

"But i never said i want you to change. I loved you the way you are." I whispered and he slowly looked up at me. There were tears in his eyes, he was crying and that made me cry.

"I am sorry Leila, i am so sorry." He broke down completely. I had never seen him like this, so vulnerable. I hugged him closely as i caressed his face.

"It's okay baby. I am here now and we are going to get through Amanda together. Okay?" I asked and he nodded and wiped his tears away.

"And about that work emergency. It was really a work emergency." He muttered and i chucked.

"I need to tell you one more thing." He said and i stopped him.

"Unless you're going to say you bought me a diamond necklace, i don't want to hear anything that has past tense it in now."

"You're the best." He said and you know what my reply was.

"I know." That made him laugh.

I didn't want anything more than a person who loves me as much as i love him. Love is not just attraction based on how someone looks or just physical traits. You know it's love when, even you are in a shitty mood and look at that person you automatically relax and your mind calms down, whose silly talks become important for you. Whose simple things become a reason for you to miss him. And no matter how far that person is, your feelings never change.

And i knew i loved him. No matter how fucked up he thought he was, for me he was perfect. No matter how bright it shines because at the end of the day even the moon isn't flawless.