Mine not Mine

Twenty Seven

It's the 26th day since the day I was confined here. Waking up, I could still recall what happened last night. Last night I've finally have my sight back! Last night, I realized that I was blind all along. I want to go back to my usual life. I missed the old me. I missed the little girl who was happy before she met that boy who never had existed in her life before.

"early discharge? will it really be ok?" asked Hanna

"yeah, i'll be fine. I hate to worry people around me. Besides I can see now." I explained.

"but"

"I am okay now."

"but does Aksel already know?"

"Of course!"

Yes. That's a lie.

"but did he agree that you'll be discharged?"

"no more buts. Hanna, please, I wanna be out now... it's " i look around Hanna doesn't seem to agree with me but she knew im akredy bored here and so she let me anyway.

I was packing my stuff when he asked "do Aksel really know that you're leaving the hospital?" she assured.

A memory from yesterday flashed in my mind again. Yesterday, Aksel told me that he'll not be around for 2 days after he had a call. He didn't told me the details but I overheard a little from his call with his fiancé. I heard Japan and that is where he would go.

"yes," i said to Hanna

"okay then I'll dropped you at your house"

"don't worry much, I already booked a taxi and I'll call you when I get home. Besides, Via will be waiting for you to pick her up." I said. Good timing that Via is now coming home from here vacation with her grannies.

"fine, I'll call you if you wont call me"

"i will" i said and Hanna left already. I signed in the papers myself and get in the taxi. After few minutes, I arrived home and called Hanna that I just arrived. She felt relieved when I called but I feel guilty for my next actions.

I started to unpacked my stuff. I wasn't that weak at all as long as I don't think things too much. As long as I know this is all for the best. I grabbed the annulment papers from the drawer.

I shut my eyes closed and breathe in and out then I walked around the house looked at the pictures we had had before I sat down on the couch and took the papers out of the envelope.

After so long, I never had the courage to hold these papers. I don't know why but signing these papers makes me feel like all the pains and heartaches are slipping a little away. I put them on the table and headed straight to phone.

Three calls, I have in mind.

I dialed the first one, waited for a fee seconds before it was answered.

"Hey Sierra, you now back from family vacation?" asked Khael even before I could speak.

Family vacation? I didn't— oh, I know it's Aksel. I don't have my mobile phone with me now. He might be the one who told him so. Now I know. Now I know why he told me 'your friend wish you to be well soon" and never heard anything after from him after that.

"Oh not yet really. They asked me to stay with them for a couple of weeks."

"Is that so?" he asked

"Yes, you know— it's been lots of years that I haven't seen them"

"Okay then, hope to see you soon" he said

"Yea... see you soon" I said even though I know when that soon will be. It's better for him to know that I'm in a family vacation.

I sigh. And dialed the second person. Without waiting much, my call has been answered.

"Mom" I said trying not to sound unhappy.

"Sierra, sweetie" she said as if Im still the young girl who would sit on her lap.

"Mom, I just missed our time together."

"You wanna come here now, sweetheart?" she asked.

I wished I could.

"Um, well, I think we could have it some other time mom. I just missed you"

"I missed you too sweetie"

"I love you mom, I have to finish something. call you later" i said and dropped the call before she could hear my voice crack.

Last call. Then I glance at my luggage. The taxi would come any minute now. I dialed the number but my call wasn't answered instead I was put to voicemail.

"Hey, Allia. This is me Sierra. Um, I called to say I'm done signing the papers...." I paused because I couldn't bear the pain inside before I went on saying "please, look after him. Hoping for the best for you two."

Then I ended the call. Just in time the taxi arrived and before I closed the door I looked at the marriage picture we have hanging on the wall. I once rushed inside— took it off and put it in the trash can then left the house.

I don't know now. Maybe, I am so used with this kind of life that now I feeling new to this kind of pain. I am free now. I really am. I need to get myself healed before the trial starts.

I boarded the plane. I don't really know why here in this country in many place I just want to leave. I just want to disappear for a little while because this time I choose myself. I choose me. I want to find me again.

~~~

Hi! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Yaaay! 😀