Her Story!

Untitled thoughts❤️

Wrote this chapter a long time ago!

I hope you love it

Sara's POV [ feelings, emotions, actions]

As I slipped back to my room away from the chaos, the tears which I had stopped from falling just rolled down my cheeks as if on queue. I couldn't believe what had happened. I mean hallo I am only a teenager, not yet even an adult. Okay fine I am mature enough to understand stuff and all but that doesn't mean I have to understand. What I had imagined life to be as a teenager wasn't even close. I mean all I want is happiness and respect from anyone and everyone. I just want to be treated like the rest. I just want to feel happy like how everyone else is.
I am not jealous of the people around me I know everyone has a different problem in their life, everyone has an issue which they can't face, everyone has unshed tears, everyone has unsaid problems, everyone has some sort of fear from life I mean hallo I myself I have nyctophobia, zoophobia okay not exactly but to a certain extent yah okay I have ailurophobia/gatophobia I really wanna get over it someday though and the weirdest one and the strongest one is philophobia and gamophobia lol I know its weird but yah there are many more minute(small) ones we will talk about them later I guess. So yah other than all these insecurities,more like fears I have, I guess I am pretty well not like any other teenager I mean I could be in a few things but yah after knowing all that has happened in my life and how I got here I would say my story is kind of unique.It hurts to think about my life, I don't know how I will be able to write it down knowing someone is going to read this!
Phew okay I am ranting now.

Back to my main point, I know everyone has a story, no one has a perfect life,everyone is going through their own struggle, that's what makes us who we are at the end of the day right. Wow I mean I am a Muslim I believe whatever happens is happening for our good, I mean I know its for our good but hallo I am human I just cant face the fact that life has to be so freaking hard.Ok ok ok I know everything has been written down for us, our Taqdeer has been written and we have to believe that all good and bad fate comes from Allah and I do believe in that but sometimes life brings us to a point where we feel so broken and so hurt that instead of finding that peace in salaah talking to Allah and reading Qura'an we feel like we need someone else to comfort us I mean its awesome to have a shoulder to cry on! I mean who wouldn't want that but if you are the shoulder who people cry on I guess you just have to wipe other peoples tears and be strong for them and know that Allah is there and he will always be there. I mean after wiping out their tears and listening to their stories it would be extremely depressing if you fill them up with what you feel like and how messed up your life is, instead of giving them hope and making them look up to the future because verily along with hardship there is ease my fav verse and make them turn to Allah , filling them up with your depressing life just wouldn't be okay I will put more light on this later I feel like I am already ranting. Okay so I was saying we should believe that both good and bad fate comes from Allah and we should except it but us being humans we break down and move away from deen and Allah because we feel so helpless when we are being tested but the opposite is supposed to happen I mean aren't we supposed to strengthen our imaan when we are being tested by minor calamities in life I mean have you ever looked at all that happening in China,Yemen,Syria and people are still so steadfast on their religion and I am here shedding tears on these small problems.
Where is my taqwa?
Why is my imaan so low?
All I want to know is why me yallah? Help me through this!
I can't!
I am losing my sanity!
It has become too much to take in!
Then I wonder why isn't Allah listening to me, to my pleads, to my duas, why cant he see me crying? why isn't anything in life changing? then again I am back to the question when I was crying I didn't turn to Allah I looked for a worldly benefit in what I was afflicted I looked at other peoples lives and I saw their smiles,I didn't turn to Allah I was running away from myself from my life from my problems I was trying to busy myself in my phone or  in a novel thinking all of this was just a bad dream and would end soon I didn't turn to Allah instead my taqwa was decreasing I had to face it all and face reality.

I have to see life from other peoples perspective before judging I mean I am no one to judge I should understand what someone is saying. If I was in their shoes how would I want the other person to react? How would I want them to behave? Well all this isn't what I wanted to say. I wanted to point out that its okay if someone very close to you doesn't trust you they have their reasons I shouldn't judge I shouldn't judge instead I should turn to Allah and make dua that I become a better person in his eyes and that no one elses opinion should really matter, I shouldn't take everything to heart,I should know that Allah is with me in everything I go through.

I finally wiped away the tears falling from my eyes in the fear that someone will see me cry and quickly walked to the kitchen to get some ice cream caz why not I mean ice cream can fix everything right😊

-THE END

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