The Cycle

Chapter 8: Inbetween

Dad pulled into the parking lot & I told him bye& that I would see him later tonight when he picked me up. I was a few minutes early so I walked inside  & waited for him to leave.  I walked back outside & around to the back to find Alex sitting there smoking a cigarette.

"Hey girl, what's up?" she smiled & blew out a cloud of smoke.

"Nothing much, just got here. I have a couple minutes before I have to clock in."

"Cool. You feeling okay from last night?"

"Yeah, better than I thought I would actually." We both laughed.

"Does Harry work tonight?" She took another drag off of her cigarette.

I wanted to avoid any topic that included Harry, because every time I thought about him or heard his name my pulse quickened & I just couldn't think straight.

"Uh, yeah. He comes in later, like six I think."

"Are you nervous to see him?"

"No, why would  I be?" I lied.

"Just curious. I just know that sometimes people can go out & have a great night together, but then the next day everything changes."

I swallowed the growing lump in my throat at Alex's words. That thought never crossed my mind. Will he feel different today? Was this all just suppose to be a one time thing? I'm having a hard time believing that. I mean he asked me to be his girlfriend. He wouldn't do that if this was just a one night fling, right?

Alex must've noticed the panic look on my face because she continued her thought. "I don't necessarily mean that about you & Harry. I'm just saying that it does happen."

I really wish she wouldn't have planted more confusion into my head, I already had enough to make my thinking clouded. Ugh, that's it, I can't take it anymore.

"Hey, can I bum a cigarette off of you?"

Alex looks up at me & smiles. "Yeah, sure." She pulls one from her pack & hands to me with a lighter.

I smile weakly & light the cigarette in my mouth. "Thanks. Um..could you not-"

She cuts me off. "I won't tell your mom that you're smoking, I promise." She laughs.

"Thanks, saves me some bullshit." I laugh along with her.

Alex stands up & tells me she'll see me inside. I still have about five minutes before I can clock in, so I plop down on the ledge of the sidewalk & continue smoking my cigarette. This is the first full cigarette that I've had in months. It's making my head feel really weird, like kinda dizzy. I don't smoke regularly so this happens to me every time I smoke. 

I check the time on my phone & butt out my cigarette; I have 2 minutes to clock in. I stand up & stumble a bit before collecting my balance. I thought it was bad while I was sitting, standing is much worse.  I walk inside & go to the front to fish out my time card from the box sitting on the cart near the registers. 

I clock myself in & my manager comes up behind me with a cash drawer.

"Hey Tuesday, how are you?" Delta asks me.

"I'm doing okay." I'm really not in the mood to have a conversation of any length with Delta; as she drives me up a wall.

"Good. Here's your drawer, count it." You're always told to count your drawer when you first get it, just to make sure it isn't short. I've worked here for 8 months & even to this day I still count my drawer every time I get it. I just feel weird if I don't.

I finished counting out my drawer to 400 dollars & then I shut it. I assigned myself to the drawer on the computer & then went back to the home screen.

Usually there are more than just one person on the front line, but that's more on the weekends  & holidays. Throughout the week it's one morning person & one night person.

I heard the familiar click of door opening & in came a group of three.

"Hi there, welcome to Golden Corral, what can I get you to drink today?"

The lady with the long black hair responded for all three people. "We'll all take a Pepsi."

I grabbed three glasses & filled them with ice & then Pepsi. I had to refill the one glass because the teenage boy didn't want ice in his glass.

I walked back up to the register to ring them out & told them they were welcome to sit anywhere they liked & off they went.

I had customers come stagger in, on & off, in between people coming in I went to the dish room to get cups & I even brought silverware down to the servers when I could because I was so bored  & needed something to pass the time by.

I checked my phone at one point & it read 5:45. My palms started to sweat alittle, Harry would be coming in here soon & I just don't know how that's going to affect me. I mean I want to see him, but I'm also nervous. Jeez, why does he make me so nervous? It's already getting alittle annoying that this guy I barely know can get me this jumpy.

I was standing by the drink machine at the front of the host station, when I heard the doors open. My  heart was literally in my feet when I saw the flash of his semi-wrinkly white shirt. I could feel my face turning six different shades of red. I tried to look up at him & be confident, but I just didn't have it in me.

I heard him come up the register behind me & clock in, but I couldn't turn around. I was stuck staring down at the ice chest in front of me. I head him start to walk away & I finally turned around to see him walking to the dish room without even a word or glance to me. 

I know I have no right to be upset with him. I mean, I didn't say anything to him either. But I couldn't help the hurt I was feeling as he just completely ignored me. Was Alex right?

I just know that sometimes people can go out & have a great night together, but then the next day everything changes.

I didn't want her to be right, but I couldn't get what she told me out of my mind. But I had a bigger question to ask myself.

It was one night. One night with a guy I don't even really know. Why did this matter so much? If we had one night of fun & never talked to each other again, why was this weighing so heavy on me? It's not like we've know each other for years or something, I just met him like a week ago.

I wanted to confront him. But I didn't have the confidence to walk into that dish room  & say anything to him.

I turned back around to stare at the pop machine, my hands propped up on either side, trying to steady my breathing.

"Hey, Tues."

If I wouldn't have been at work, I would've screamed. But being at work didn't stop me from nearly jumping out of my skin.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thank you so much loves! I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving & that you're all doing well. I know my upadting has been slow & I'm so sorry for that. If I could get paid to do this all day,  I totally would. But since I have to have a real job, that comes first. But since my updating has been slow, I'm going to post another chapter after I get off work tonight. It'll be uploaded sometime after 6pm.

I really can't thank you guys enough for all the view & comments that this book is getting!  I love it as much as I love writing the book itself. Also, I have one more surprise!

My new book "And The Winner Is..." premieres tonight as well. I hope you all can check that out as well.

Much love always,

- xx2901xx