anonymous love simkus

mono no aware

mono no aware is the bittersweet sadness of the ephemeral nature of all things

物の哀れ

this may sound like a weird thing to put in a love letter

if you can even call these love letters,

but i feel like this is something that few people i have met understand

when something ends,

people are usually sad about it,

but sometimes it can be really bittersweet

as a random example,

losing someone to an long-term illness

it may be a very grim example

but i'll roll with it

if someone close to you is dying,

you'll obviously be sad

but if they have been suffering then its almost a release for them

or if their illness has had a negative affect on you

then it is bittersweet because you can finally let go of that pain

and it may seem selfish to feel relieved that its over

but i'm not sure i'm the right person to make that judgement

thinking of you feels bittersweet

i'm terrified that you wont accept me

and i just want it to end

whether it be you accepting my confession

or you throwing it in my face

either way it will be an end to a long time of silent struggling

i just hope i wont have to feel mono no aware

markus pocketed the letter before running into history. he had no reason to believe that it was simon who wrote the letter, but if he did then it sounds like something is wrong.

markus has had a growing suspicion that something in simon's home life wasn't quite right. 

he took a deep breath, telling himself to calm down. it probably wasn't even simon who wrote all of the letters. but that still didn't get rid of his gut feeling.

after hesitating at the door markus walked in and sat down. simon was talking to the teacher, presumably about the projects. after a minute of two of talking simon sat back down. markus looked up and noticed the prominent bags under his eyes.

"you good si?" markus tried to ask lightly, not wanting to stir up any bad emotions out of his friend.

"oh yea i'm fine, just really tired"