anonymous love simkus

chinmoku

chinmoku is a word meaning silence, or in more ways the way of speaking through silence
沈黙

silence has always been something that i really need in my life

with all the crazy things constantly going on in our lives

i've always just loved silence

like the way if you listen close enough you can almost hear the silence

like it was a sound

and it's defining

but i also love speaking through silence

just knowing that someone understands you but you don't have to speak

you don't have to worry about messing up

i'd like to think that we have been speaking through silence

not just through these letters

but also the smiles you send out in the hall

sure you give everyone your smiles

but i'd like to think you see me smiling back and you give me just a slightly bigger smile

more genuine

more true

so i think we have chinmoku

we have silence between us 

and it is beautiful

i ran up to my locker quickly to grab the note. i smiled widely as i opened the little black paper and breathed in the slight sakura smell of the ink. i placed the note back into my pocket and walked into history.

i took my seat and looked out the window for once. after these notes started appearing i've started paying more attention to the small things. like the soft smell of lemons when i wake up in the morning.

i've noticed the way my father carl always sits starring out his window in the morning and in the evenings, breathing in the fresh scent of lemon trees that i had never even knew were there. i talk a lot more in the mornings, listening to him reminiscing in the smell and the memories those lemon trees bring.

there were some really pretty trees outside. they had light pink flowers that occasionally fluttered down in the wind. they had only just started to bud so much of the tree was still only green leaves that swayed ever so slightly.

i wasn't the only one who was staring out the window. he was staring at the trees and mindlessly drawing on his paper. i held in a giggle and sat through history like a normal person would.

once class ended i jumped up and went into the lunchroom. josh ran up to me and started bombarding me with questions, "have you found out who has been writing those notes?"

"nope, i still have no clue who they are from"

"well i think i may have an idea, just based on a certain hot girl named north who literally stares at you all the time"

i sighed and looked at the table across the room. north saw me looking and waved. i gave a sarcastic smile and sat down at my table. i really hoped it wasn't north, but i highly doubt it even could be her.

she is too brash and quick to jump to violence. whoever was writing to me wasn't necessarily always trying to do the non-violent thing, they were just doing what they thought would make me happy, and that's what i like about them. (see what i did there, using their game attributes- oh okay, no one cares)

i stared off into space as i ate my lunch, once again letting my mind drift to the idea that mystery boy was writing the letters. god was it a good daydream.