STAR CROSSED

11.

'Come on' Maaz asked me to get out after he stopped the car in front of a house in the middle on nowhere. There were some houses in a far distant, but the area was pretty much exile.

'What is this place?' I looked at the condition of the house, the light blue and white paint on the house was coming off and the bright red bricks were peeking throughout the building, there was a huge black iron door which was rustic. Maaz didn't answer me as always. He opened the lock on the door with a key and waited for me.

'I think I should stay...' I spoke, but he cut me off when he turned towards me.

'Did I ask what you think?' He stared at me. He was unbelievable. He had enough ego to drown himself in if he wasn't careful.

'No you didn't but you should, since we are married you should ask me what I think...or maybe you are scared that if you ask me what I think and I tell you, you won't be able to look at yourself the same way' I looked away from his fiery gaze and walked past him to get inside. 

He followed and locked the door after he came inside. There was a small garden at the front of the porch, even in the driest weather, the plants looked as if they were looked after regularly and the flowers were blooming, whoever lived here probably enjoyed gardening. Maaz walked up the porch and opened another gate which was painted white. I wasn't sure if I should follow or not so I stayed behind, when he noticed that I was not following, he turned his attention to me  and gestured me to come along. I stayed behind him like a shadow as he moved from one room to another, there were five rooms in total. There wasn't much furniture around, neither it was anything too special but something about this place reminded me of my own home. This house seemed as if a long time ago, the people who lived here were happy and loved each other. I had no idea why I was feeling so connected with this odd empty house. Being alone with Maaz should have scared me but I wasn't, maybe because somewhere in my mind I knew that he wasn't going to do anything that...

'This is my home' I heard him say and my thoughts evaporated as I found myself under his stare once again in the middle hallway beside the bedroom heading straight towards the kitchen.

'Your home?' I was confused. The image I had of a family who might have stayed in his house wasn't true at all.

'Kabeer and I lived here with our parents' He answered a few moments later. What was he doing? Why was he doing this now? What were his intentions?

'We lost our parents quite early...don't remember much of it except one day when we came back from school...I found them here in this hallway...I stopped Kabeer before he could see them...I couldn't protect them but I had him.' He took a deep breath and I knew it was hurting him to talk about it. It never stops hurting really, you just get used to the feeling the same kind of pain. I recognized this feeling very well, the feeling when you take a breath, and everything just hurts, and you wonder why things happened the way they did. I started digging my nails in my skin to keep myself from crying for him, I hated him, he destroyed me so why was I feeling bad for him?

'The last thing he ask me to do was keep you safe' He uttered and noticed my hands, I unclenched.

'There were other ways you could have kept me safe' I glanced back at him.

'There wasn't any other way, but I want to make a promise to you...' He started coming towards me.

'Don't...don't...make promises to me' I stopped him. Anyone who made a promise to me didn't live long enough to keep them. No one stayed to hold their vows.

'Once I find the man who killed Kabeer, I will let you go...I will send you wherever you want to go' He seemed sincere with his words but I wasn't going to fall for his words.

'Words don't matter to me anymore, if you are really trying to keep me safe then prove it by your actions' I told him.

'Why does it matter now? Why did you bring me here? And why are you saying this to me now? Why didn't you say this to me when you put a gun on my head?' My eyes started to tear up.

'Do you think killing the man who killed your brother is going to bring Kabeer back?' I said a while later and instead of answering me he left.

'So you don't answer conscious questions, why am I not surprised?' I followed him to one of the rooms. There was a single bed, small cupboard and a bookshelf in there. He opened the cupboard and took out a towel and a clean set of clothes.

'What are you doing?...aren't we going back...Maaz' I asked him but he went outside the room and headed towards the washroom.

'Unbelievable' I sat down on the bed, not knowing what to do. The gate was obviously locked and even if it wasn't its not like there were neighbours close by who I could have asked for help, neither running away on foot would have helped. 

Time goes slow when you're stuck with a person who only talks when he wants to or listens only if you say what he wants to hear. I went to the bookshelf and looked at the books, most of them were poetry books, there were also some letters, but I didn't touch them because it wasn't my place to read something personal that didn't belong to me so I grabbed a book by one of the famous Urdu poets and started reading to kill time. Reading a book felt so strange after so long, it was like meeting an old acquaintance after a long time, you recognized them but there was plenty to catch up on. I almost forgot everything for those briefs moments when I started reading, one page led to another and another. Throughout my darkest of times, it was books who helped my escape from my demons. Each thought by the poet helped to ease the pain I was feeling as I breathe. It was as if each word was written for me, to console me, to support me, to tell me to hold on and keep going.

I heard Maaz's footsteps as he made his way into the room. His eyes dropped on me for a brief second before he cleared his throat and looked around the room. I got up from the bed and put the book back.

'You can keep it' His suggestion startled me. I thought I misheard him for a moment.

'If you want to, I mean' He offered. I wanted to decline just to prove a point, but I did miss reading and the book itself was pretty good, so I went and took it back from the shelf. Thanking him would have hurt me so I didn't.

'You can take more if you want, no one reads it anyway' He added. What happened to him suddenly? 

'It's fine' I responded.

'Can we go now? Amma must be waiting for us' I told him.

'We're staying here tonight' He claimed.

'Absolutely not' I objected immediately.

'I want to leave' I demanded him.

'You're safe here, I am not going to hurt you Eman' He said to me, watching me carefully.

'I don't believe you' I reacted straightaway.

'I am not surprised, I guess you'll have to wait and see if I hurt you or not' He shrugged and went out. About an hour later here turned with two boxes of food, he placed one box next to me on top of my book along with a water bottle. He stood near the bed for a few seconds, I kept myeyes locked at the closed window in front of me until he disappeared out of my sight.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Hi guys,

Hope you liked the double updates this week, please vote, comment and share if you did :)

Your support and love is appreciated so so much! xx

Catch you next Friday!