Highschool Sweethearts Yandere Tord x Innocent Reader ( Lemon )

Chapter 17

Y/N's POV

It's late in the afternoon,  I am by the bathroom and they took Rosy for training... I'm writing in the journal so far how I am unsure of all this... he treats me well for the most part, but he scares me in the moments I really start to push... I fear for myself sometimes... If I do run I know life will never be the same. He gave me a picture of him in his uniform and with a man coming into the frame in the back. 

He isn't smiling... he looks empty... this is one of those days I just start to think a lot... with Tord deciding for a change in schedule with Rosy.  Sometimes I keep a feeling that something's not right and I should escape while I still have my head... and sanity. 

This whole thing is crazy... I know one thing I can leave with valuables and start working outside of the army if I getaway. I know I won't...I know I won't escape and it's hopeless but to try and enjoy the place I'm in.

For now... I don't write the part me of escaping now... I just write about Tord's behaviour as I have before... I wrote the escape plans at the very end. I wrote about the exits and entrances I remember.... the route and more. That's why I wanted to explore the garden more... the only good thing that comes from him cutting me off is how fresh the memory is.

Sometimes I wonder...what were my parents' last words?... did they say anything to him?... how did it take place?... Did they say anything about me or my siblings before they died?...

~ Time Skip Because I Feel Like It~

~What Do You Want Me To Say~

 " Sweetheart, what are you doing " he opens the door, shit I've been caught, " No-nothing " I stutter hiding the notebook behind me.  He garbs the notebook out of my hands, " HEY! " I jump for it.. " What is this? " he says flipping through the pages. " You said you have nothing to hide," he says with strain look on his face, this look makes me wanna die inside.." It's my journal... " I shrugged in embarrassment. I glow red,  he's gonna get pissed or get me to talk about it.

" You lied to me sweetheart," he said more strict and stern, " I'm borrowing this for now " he holds it up and leaves. I wanna try and stop him but he leaves very quickly, to fast for me to say anything.  To object to this idiocy...he leaves and I don't see him for the rest of the night,  I don't see Rosy either... I can feel a bit of my tears inch up my eyes. 

I can't cry about something like this now not now, not like how I was when I first arrived.  I end up having to count sheep in order to fall asleep. I had another nightmare again...which was one of the worst I had...so far...

Tord's POV

I flip through these pages and go to my office, where I do most of my thinking... I'm not going back to the room tonight. That's for sure... Rosy isn't either she is going to sleep in the office,  while I go to a spare room.  Her thoughts have been journaled from when I brought her stuff... she recaps it for herself... then she talks about what she first experienced. 

It reads...

 Day 1

What did he do? Why did he do it? I miss them... they'll never see me in a wedding dress or see their grandchildren. ( Siblings and I won't be able to tease each other anymore ) ... I feel lost in the darkness I can't control... Did I even know the real Tord Larsion? Is that even his name!?

Every inch of me wants to scream and break something...but I can't break...I can't, I can't!  It's intoxicating really, I spent days ignoring his attempts... I'm cracking slowly and I hate to admit. I still love him...I need to wake up and realize what he's done...to me...to my family...the boys. 

Do they even know? Are they wondering about me right now?  Edd became a big brother of sorts to me... Tom the lazy sarcastic but a good friend to have at a party and also the one who makes a good cocktail according to those around him... Matt the squealy but funny one. I'll never get to see them... not ever... not after this... they'll most likely forget about me.

It's a page long,  that's not the only one but the latest one today suggests that Y/N is doing better... but she's disgusted by my actions and thinking of escaping.  I chuckle slightly to myself, it explains her behaviour yesterday. Sweetheart isn't listening do I have to play the bad guy? It seems like it.. 

I go on to the next page when she writes about Rosy. It seems to make a positive impact, as for today's notes...it just a bunch of updates and what happened today which is nothing out of the ordinary... she just doesn't have Rosy to keep her company. When I got back to the room she's already asleep, her face looks stained from a few tears... " No... " she groans and moves back and forth. 

She crying a bit in her sleep and I sit beside her and rub her back comforting her..." Shhhh" I stroke her and she seems to relax. I than garb some clothes and go to the spare room and careful to close the door quietly. 

I'll deal with this tomorrow... for now I'll give her some space, and consider giving back the notebook.