Highschool Sweethearts Yandere Tord x Innocent Reader ( Lemon )

Chapter 18

Tord's POV

I review so far what I have to do... I have confronted Y/N about the notebook and decide what type of action I should take. For now, she's going to spend the morning alone, with time to think unless there's an emergency.  Rosy comes barking and yipping at me when I come in... " Lay down " I order her, her ears flop down and she goes back to the little bed.

I can see her eyeing me, I've decided what I'm going to do... well it's depending...

Y/N's POV

 Run Y/N... he isn't going to be happy...  her nails curl into my shoulder blade... " why can't you leave me alone... " I plead with her.  That's not how it is.. you're stupid, you ignored the warning signs now pay the price and leave or stay with him and die!  the voice hisses. 

I shake my head,  No, no he'll think rationally and understand another argues back. It's an internal fight with the negative side of me and the positive.   Y/N you saw the way he got mad, the voice digs deeper,  Y/N no- the darker voice cuts her off  Why else did he leave you alone!!,  To give you space, they fight back and forth until I just can't do it. 

 Idiot, your gonna die...for him or because of him she hisses,  No that not true he sai- , she interrupted and my thought is bubbling up. As their voices get blurred I pull my knees up to my head.

" ENOUGH!! " I scream and I wake up...my chest heavy with feeling... " shit... shit " I whisper... to myself. The walls are slowly closing in the door getting further and further, I'll just take the medicine I say to myself.  I put my hand out and stumble, I jump back when I touch the wall and the room...the room... it's s- swirlin- swirling around.  I feel the chills and heating flashes...

Then I just fall to the floor,  the door swings open as I lay on the floor shaking, I feel a calm sense... " don't to- touc- " I stutter, " shhh~ it's ok, relax sweetheart " I feel impending numbing and I feel like dying at that moment.   Their fighting... about what's happening...  he's putting you to sleep.

Tord's POV

I think don't the medicine is strong enough to deal with this panic attack, she trying to get the glass of water I garb the water and help her drink it. She tries to sit up straight but its still weak attempt, " sweetheart lay down..." I suggest. She listens as I look for the pills, she doesn't seem to get any better so as a replacement I use the drugs. 

" Nnngh " I know the discomfort in the drugs so I use a small dosage.  She's hot and cold at the same time... I keep helping her drink water. I should've rethought about this... given her alone time so another part of the day.  Fuck...I touch her head... she peaceful for now... it's a good thing they called me when they realized what was happening.  I put the fan on and a light blanket on her body.

I sit beside her on the bed and stroke and rub her back. She's peacefully sleeping now... so I decided I should check on her in an hour or so.  I send in her breakfast and leave a note... for her to take a bath if she feels hot or cold still in lukewarm water.  

Y/N's POV

Ok, I'm fine he came in just to check on me and make sure I was fine... I thought as I walk through the hallow depths of my mind.  I'm sitting and wondering and thinking about life before I was brought here. The wonderful things I and my family did.. what I and the boys would play when Tord was doing this. That one truth or dare game where I had my first kiss with Tord... what I don't regret. 

 It's peaceful here I don't have to worry right now, I'll wake up soon... hopefully. Hopefully, I won't get addicted to drugs. 

~ Time Skip Brought To You By Eggs For Dinner ~

~ It's Not Weird Your Weird For Thinking It's Weird~

I wake up feeling calm but still semi-hot and cold... so I go and take a lukewarm bath and brush my teeth... and eat breakfast. I'm feeling better...slowly,  I get up and just sit down and think about the journal. Was it truly something I need to hide? I did it because it was somewhere I was supposed to keep my thoughts to myself. 

Tord's POV

Y/N woke up and so I'm going to check up on her..." Sweetheart... " I glance at her she's in different clothes. " What was that about, " I ask her and shifts, " It's just a stupid nightmare,   can I have my notebook " she looks up at me.  I shake my head, " You hid something from m- " she cuts me off, " it's was my book to invest my feelings in... not everything I feel I have to tell you,  you can't be like that " she argues back. 

I resent it when she cuts me off... " sweetheart... the answer is no " she looks sadden and sits down.  "  I shouldn't have to tell you everything " she whispers mostly to herself, " you don't have to but I don't want you to hide anything from me " I reframe. She turns away from me, " that's not what I'm saying... you hide things from all the time and you won't tell me what happened to the boys... I can't have my journal... I can't have my thoughts in secret "  I furrow my brows. 

" Look at me," I say to her, she shakes her head " no..not until you answer the question " she shifts away from me.  " The boys are fine they just don't remember you...I erase their memories of you "  I admit. She looks at me with a look that makes feel bad.. " what's the story, Y/N went to visit her parent ( and siblings ) when she arrived and settled in her body was missing but evidence and DNA show she was killed along with her family ".  I hear her voice break at the mention of the word kill. 

" Yes, that's something along the line of what they said, " I shrugged... what else does she want me to say, " what were their last words " she abruptly says and raises her head... " It happened quickly so they didn't get any last words " I hope it doesn't hurt her too much. " You realized how much it would hurt me but you did anyway...", your mine forever now that's why I did it. It does not matter if you leave you'll always be mine, you'll always be mine now, I marked you as mine as well. That's what they'll see you as...mine, your not my property but they know I love you.

I shake my head, " Sweetheart, I already explained this to you ", " I know it's an excuse that I can't justify you for and I hate every inch of me for how I feel about you for that reason and that reason only " she admits and gets up. " Where are you going " she dodges me, I grab her hand.. " stop this now, sit down " I demand she looks at me with pain she sits on the bed.

I sit beside her..." So how do you feel about me ", " Th- that doesn't matter we're getting off-to-", " you made it off-topic so you'll answer my question " I interrupt her.  I feel a flare in me a heat, that's taking a lot of strength to hold myself.  " I...still love you " she sighs... tucking a hair behind her ear.   

" What's wrong with that," I ask raising a brow at her, she's silent... I turn her face to face mine, " what's wrong with that " I say more gently... " look what you did " her eyes flood with tears. I go blank and just wipe her tears.  Her lips are quivering, " What I did doesn't show what I'll do " I say.. her face goes blank.

" Ok..." she says weakly I can tell that's she's not done... " You have something on your mind, tell me ".  " Will I ever get my notebook back? Will you check it and invade it whenever you wish? " she explodes, " Maybe and that's something I haven't thought about " I consider. 

Y/N's POV

He's scaring me in some moments... I sigh, I have nothing else to say, I feel drained emotionally...he holds me for a second. " I love you but don't push me sweetheart " he whispers as he rocks me back and forth.  It's a warning...

I nod my head and he gets up and leaves, I'm hugging myself... and that all for the afternoon and morning... 

( A/N: This chapter is already 1500ish words so I keep this going next chapter )