My Life Saver

chapter 1

i blew off the dust and felt the texture of the book with my cold palm. It felt old but not ugly old, it was antique.

I found my mom's diary in the attic this morning and I was debating whether to read it or not, so I just flipped to an empty page in the back. my mom passed when I was 12; I am 17 now. ever since that day I've been different. although I tried to be happy, it never worked. so why put a fake smile on my face when I can just be myself?

I studied the empty page like I was actually reading something. I fiddled with my sharply pointed pencil around the page. I started to write:

Hi, I'm Caterina Wilson. more likely know as Cat. my mother was everything to me. I told her everything because she was my best friend when no one else was. no one knows how she passed, she just left us one day. I woke up one morning and she was gone. since she had depression, I automatically thought suicide. after that day my life has been hell. I attempted suicide twice but sadly fail both times. both were over dose but my brother came home and called the ambulance. I had no friends, and my dad got very strict with me. he was always strict, but with my moms passing he got very stressed between me and my younger brother, Tyler. I'm frightened of my dad. I'll never know how his mood will be when he comes home from work. he has hit me a few times. one day when I was 15, he come home and was very grumpy. he found the dishes in the sink because I didn't wash them, and he stormed into my room and slapped me. I have been scared of him ever since that day. although tyler on the other hand, is the favorite. he gets away with everything he does to me. one time, he was supposed to let my dog inside the house but forgot to. then he blamed it on me and I was grounded for 3 weeks, not that I had anywhere to go anyway. I mean my brother is only 11, but-"

then I heard the open slam open.

my head quickly spun around, "oh hi dad" I closed the book.

"Caterina Marie what do you think you're doing?" he snatched the diary out of my hands"

"I'm sorry" I apologized.

he scanned the page "what the hell?" he screamed, "you're such a bitch, this was your mothers!" he spat.

he ripped the book in half, "you're done, go drive your brother to his friends house" he said as he threw the torn book at my face.

"okay" I said innocently as I put the book in my draw and grabbed my keys. "let's go tyler" he hopped in the passenger seat and we headed to his friend Andrews house.

when my dad yells at me, it doesn't get me upset anymore. I just get angry. I used to cry like a little girl, but nowadays I never cry because of him, unless he hurts me badly.

"Cat let's go to the gas station!!! I really want a candy bar!" tyler jumped with joy.

"ugh we just passed it and I would have to make a U-turn, can't you wait?" I asked

"no turn around or I'm telling dad." he said sternly.

"fine, whatever" I turned around the car.

once we got to the gas station Tyler's was grabbing every candy bar he could find.

I grabbed a pack of gum and I started to look at the magazines.

I quickly grabbed one that I liked and placed it on the counter as I eagerly waited for Tyler to come.

the person behind me was staring a me, I could feel it.

I was so annoyed so I turned around "can I help you with something?" I spat at the boy who looked around my age. he was carrying a powerade and a protein bar.

"I'm sorry you're just so beautiful" the stranger spoke.

I rolled my eyes and turned back around to pay for all the things we got.

"hungry huh?" the boy said sarcastically refering to all my brothers candy. "shut the fuck up" I spun around.

"geez" he mumbled. I finished paying and the cashier was bagging my items.

"here" the boy said, sliding a small paper with his number on it to me.

"text me" he said walking away. I pushed the paper in my back pocket and left the gas station.

20 min later

I dropped tyler off at his friends and got home. I lied on my bed with nothing to do.

I decided to text the kid, because he seemed interested in talking to me.

I put the number in my phone and all I texted was "hi"

I got an answer 2 minutes later

"hey beautiful,happy you texted me"

"yea whatever, what's up"

"talking to a gorgeous girl, what's your name?"

"Cat. why do you care"

"because I want to know you're beautiful name. I'm Matt"

"I didn't ask"

"well I thought you should know"

"okay"

"what school do you go to?"

"ridgemount east"

"oh cool I go to ridgemount west!"

"I don't care"

"are you okay? you seem upset."

"no because I'm not going to throw my affection to you just because that's what you want. I learned not to trust everybody...so you have to show me that you're worth giving my trust to"

"okay. may I ask why?"

"I've been hurt many times and I'm not worth anything to you. I don't even know you."

"well I'm Matthew Lee Espinosa....im 17 years old and I like to have a good time. if I'm upset about something, I'll vent about it. no matter who it is, I'll trust them with my secrets and that's one of my biggest mistakes. my birthday is July 7th 1997 and my favorite color is blue. I believe in love at first sight, and I love xbox. I have a dog named burnie who I love, and I'm left handed. I play football and I have a nice ass;)"

I laughed at the last fact and it made me think, he is not that bad after all

"that was funny, want to know about me?" I asked

"I would love to"

"okay my name is Caterina Marie Wilson, and I'm 17 years old. my favorite color is either pink or light blue. I'm kind of a girly girl. I love to wear crop tops, skater skirts and vans. it's my go to outfit. I have a dog named Roxy that is often annoying but I love her. I have a younger brother and a dad. my mother passed away when I was 12, she was my best friend. I don't want to go into detail because unfortunately i get very emotional when it comes to the death of a loved one. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but I like to keep that to myself. and also I'm sorry if I was rude to you, there's just a lot of issues in my life that I'm dealing with and I happen to taken my anger out ok others...."

he didn't respond for 30 minutes,so I sent him a second text,

"oh plus a have a nicer ass;)"

"I'm sorry for your loss Caterina, she's in my prayers....and I doubt that your ass can be nearly as nice as mine"

"thank you Matthew, but it's Cat"

"right I'm sorry Cat"

"it's fine"

"I could tell you didn't tell me everything about yourself, want to meet for pizza and talk?"

"I rather not..."

"please? :))))"

"fine, I'll meet you there in 20 min"

I got in the shower and put it in the messy bun. I wore leggings and a sweatshirt and I put a little makeup on.

I got in the car knowing I shouldn't said yes to this loser.

I laughed and started to drive.

------///-------

if you're reading this, thank you! make sure the vote and comment so I update quicker!<33