The Fall

Helping a Friend

You sit on the bed with your legs crossed under you. You place a pillow on your lap. "Before we begin Bucky I want you to know we are here to help you. So please don't feel awkward when we instruct you to do something what would typically be socially unacceptable." Loki says pacing the room with his hands behind his back. "You will get no flack from me. I assure you." Bucky nods and looks over to your smiling face. "What are you going to do?" Bucky asks sheepishly. You pat the bed encouraging him to sit down. He complies as you begin explaining. "Loki knows about your past but I don't so I will enter your mind and relive everything with you. This may upset you reliving everything but it's the only way I can understand what's going on and help you." "What if I lose control and turn into the other person?" "If that happens Loki and I will restrain you." "What if I forget Steve again?" "I will only be removing parts you tell me to remove. Everything else will stay." "Can Steve come?" "If that is what you want." "Yes please." You nod and send Loki to get the super solider. "So you're going to see everything I've done?" Bucky asks looking at you full of worry. "Yes I will see everything." "I've done some bad things (Y/N)." You place your hand on his gently squeezing. "I can handle it. I've been through some shit myself. Even if it gets too much I want to help you so I will grin and bear it. So don't worry about want is happening to me while I'm in your head." Loki comes back with Steve. You explain to Steve what you plan on doing. "Will he be conscious?" Steve asks crossing his arms over his large chest. "Yes he will be awake and fully aware of what is happening." "Who exactly is doing this?" "I am and Loki is here to assist if needed." Steve turns to Loki, "do you think she can do it? No offense (Y/N) but we've tried many times to fix his head and at no avail." "I believe she can do it. She's incredibly skilled. And you've gone the way of science, why not give magic a try." Loki says with pride knowing your the one most capable of helping Bucky. "What do you think buck?" Steve says turning to his friend. "I'm willing to try it. If it works that's great, if not I'll continue living my life like normal." He says with a shrug. "Well I'm here for you bud. How long do you think this will take?" "I don't know. I'm going to have to search his mind that has over 90 years of memories so it's going to take time." "So I should get comfortable huh?" Steve chuckles as Loki conjures up a chair for the captain. "Are you ready Bucky?" You ask as the ex assassin looks over to Steve for support. The captain gives his friend a reassuring tight smile. Bucky looks you in the eyes and nods. "Ok first we have to get you relaxed so I can get into your head. Please remove your shirt and lay down on the bed with your head on this pillow." He hesitates and asks "you want my head in your lap?" "Yes Bucky we told you we are going to ask you to do some odd things but we assure you it's ok." You coo patting the pillow in your lap. He takes off his shirt and lays down like you ask. Your eyes meet and you smile down at him. "Now I will massage you so you relax and let me in." He nods as your hands go to work. You massage his tense chest and shoulders and he slowly begins to let down his guard. He sighs with pleasure as your hands begin to massage his neck and head. In that instant you were in his head. You gently rest your hands on his temples and begin to see his life. There was flashes of Steve and him together as kids, Bucky going off to the army, becoming a Sergeant. "Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes." You whisper to yourself. Next are flashes of captain America coming to save Bucky from a compound. Next they were on a train then Bucky fell. "You fell too." You gasp as Bucky's memory reminds you of when you fell and lost Loki. "Doll you ok?" Bucky asks trying to reach up to your cheek but is stopped my Loki's hand. "She needs to concentrate. Her mumblings are her talking to herself." Loki whispers as Bucky puts his hand down. He becomes silent as you start to live his life when Hydra had him. You see that is left arm was missing from the fall then fitted with the metal one. More flashes of him being tortured and brainwashed. His breathing picks up as well as yours. You start to see hydra agents reprogramming his brain with code words. "Longing, rusted, furnace,  daybreak..." you breathe. "Loki stop her she can't finish those words or the winter soldier will take over Bucky!" Steve protests as Bucky balls his fists trying not to listen to your words. "I can't stop her. But I have a feeling she has a plan." Loki says watching you intensely. "Soldier you ready to comply?" You mumble but don't finish the words which allows Bucky to relax again. You realize how hard it is for him to relive this so you make it to where you only see his memories. You see his assassinations every single one. You watch him kill without mercy or emotion. Tears run down your cheeks as you hear the victims last words and screams. More of his memories flood your mind as he is continually brainwashed even when he would complete a mission. "I don't see my memories any more." Bucky asks looking over at Loki. "She's living them without you. She could tell it was starting to get too much for you. I hope she's ok in there." Loki breathes as he sits on the bed watching you closely to see if you are able to handle it. "Oh god she can't do it alone. I've done terrible things." Bucky looks up at your face. Your face scrunched in concentration trying to get though everything for Bucky's sake. "Who the hell is bucky?" You say as you watch the two friends meet on the bridge. "The man on the bridge I knew him." More tears run down your cheeks as you watch Bucky submissively take the rubber teeth guard in his mouth only to be tortured again. You watch as Steve and Bucky fight and crash into the water. Bucky pulls the captain out onto the river bank.

You pull out of his head and gasp as you return to reality. Bucky sits up to look at you but you instantly pull him into your embrace. "Oh Bucky I'm sorry those things happened to you. It's not your fault." You say between sobs. Bucky holds you close as Loki places his hand on your shoulder. "I'm going to make it better. I promise." You place a kiss on his temple before Loki hands you some tissues. "Thank you my love." You wipe your face and motion for Bucky to lay back down. "Ok so what do you want to remember." "Well Steve, the war, how I got my arm and my training." "Got it. Now Loki and Steve I'm going to need your help. Loki nods and Steve gets up from his chair. "When I remove the hydra crap from your head it's going to make your body tense up and probably shake. I need you Steve to hold him down." He nods and gets into position. "Now for you loki. I need you to hold me down too since I will be taking all of the bad stuff into my own mind and disposing it from there." Loki nods and positions himself behind you ready to assist. "Now for you Bucky." You smile down at him. "Yes (Y/N)?" "When I'm done we are both going to fall asleep for a good while just so you know what to expect. Now let's get you relaxed again so I can get back in." You giggle as you massage his body again.

You slip back in and start your work. You take away all the deaths, torture, brainwashing, screams and pain. He groans as his mind starts to go blank. You take away the trigger words for the winter soldier. Once the words were in your mind you both begin to twitch. Steve holds Bucky down and Loki holds you up making sure to tilt your head up so you don't fall over. With a loud groan from Bucky he falls asleep. Steve pulls him over to the open side of the bed to give Loki room to hold you better. You still shake and mumble trying to destroy those horrible memories. You beat it with a shriek and collapse in Loki's arms. He holds you close as a big grin appears on his face. "She did it Steve! My goodness little one you did it!" He says excitedly as Steve looks at him not really understanding what happened. Loki kisses your sleeping form as he tucks you into the blankets. "Care to explain what happened?" "Sure but let them rest we'll talk out in the lounge." He says as he leads Steve out of your room and to the couches.

"So (Y/N) transferred Bucky's winter soldier memories to her own head and used her own mental magic to make them nonexistent." "So she basically erased Bucky's mind with hers." "Yeah pretty much. Because the stuff the winter soldier did still happened now it's just as if Bucky was never him. They are now two different entities to Bucky." "Wow that's amazing." "Isn't it?" Loki muses, so proud of you and happy Bucky won't be tormented anymore. "Bucky is finally at peace." Steve sighs looking over at your room knowing his best friend is sleeping soundly.