hold my handーcmbyn

three

"elio?"

my head darted to the kitchen door and as i see a familiar face. my jaw hit the ground in shock.

"oliver, you do know elio, that's great" peter said, as he jumped out of the pool.

i wasn't sure what to say. i scrambled to my feet as i climbed onto land. "oliver?" i mumble, walking towards him, following the direction of peter.

"nice to see you again elio, it appears you've met my brother" oliver said in a harsh tone. i knew he saw us, it was obvious.

my mind is all over the place. i came here to forget about him, but i cant. no matter where i go he's always there.

"i should go-" elio says, trying to avoid an awkward conversation at most.

"are you sure, you can stay if you'd like. meet the rest of our family?" peter says, grabbing elios arm.

elio couldn't deal with drama right now- and he sure as heck didn't want to meet oliver's new fiancé.

"no, i should really leave. sorry" he says, scurrying to the door, oliver following him.

as elio arrived to the door he paused for a minute to wait for oliver.

"why are you here?" elio asked he turnt to face oliver. he was red and his eyes puffy- as if he was ready to cry.

"for my wedding, i should've told you, i'm sorry." he explained. this didn't satisfy elio, he grabbed the door handle and opened it to step out as oliver put his hand on his shoulder.

"stop," elio murmured under his breath. "i kissed your brother." elios attempt to make oliver jealous want working- it only made oliver know elio still wanted him.

"i know" oliver said, allowing elio to leave and closing the door behind him.

oliver knew how much he meant to elio, and he still took him for granted.

oliver. why?

i don't want to be stuck in the past- i want to live my life with no worries about anyone, definitely not oliver. but i cant get him out of my head. he's everywhere i go, in my bedroom, in my garden, in my village. in my heart. i don't want to be burdened by the past- but maybe this is all a sign. maybe we should be together. or maybe not.

to be honest i'm not sure which signs are good or bad. the fact that i just made out with oliver's brother could mean anything. was it a sign to bring me to oliver, or was it one to drive me away.

truth be told- i'm not one for riddles.

i hop on my bike and ride home- stopping at the lake me and oliver confessed our feelings for one another at. memories flooded back, tears along with them.

what is wrong with me. why am i still in love with someone who can't make their mind up about who they love. why?

i need to get over him- he's engaged to marry: this spring, i can't make him question everything he knows about love. i just can't. that's not fair for me, him or his fiancé.

i get back on my bike and go home. crying the whole journey there.

as i walk into my house, i'm greeted by my mother, who comforts me- as always.

"elio, dear, what's wrong?" she asks me, taking me into the sitting area. "it's oliver," i mumble. she sighs, running her fingers through my hair.

"i told you dear- it's okay to feel this way but, you must accept the fact you won't see him again, he's getting married." she says, trying to make me feel better- but it doesn't. because i did see him.

"no, i- um... i saw him" i begin, her eyes flutter in confusion. "he's here. his family are the new american family who moved here." she gasps.

"i'm sorry dear." she hugs me and makes her way into the garden to tell my father the news.

im heartbroken again, to say the least. of all people to move into the house, i had no idea it would've been oliver's family.

i made my way up to my room, to reflect on the eventful day i had. as i lay on my bed, i find my hand in my shorts, i breathe in quickly take my hand out as i hear a knock at my door.

"come in" i say, as marzia makes her way into my room- she's been away at boarding school during winter, and we've been writing to eachother. she somehow found a way to forgive after what i did to her, were still very close, which i am eternally thankful for.

"ciao," she says, sitting my bed.

i smile at her and she hands me a letter. i raise my eyebrow as to question her.

"from oliver. he's back now- did you know?" she says softly. it was obvious she knew and i'm so thankful she was okay with everything. what more could you ask for him a friend.

"i knew," i said taking a deep breath.

"i need to go" she said kissing me on the cheek and leaving, not closing the door behind her.

i don't want to read it. it probably says something about how we can't be together and that's the last thing i want to hear.

elio slowly opened the letter. his heart beating at what seemed like a thousand miles an hour. it read:

oliver
the summer we spent together meant the world to me. but it ended.
our love only lasted a few weeks in reality but
it was always last a lifetime in my heart.
you must know where
we stand.
i'm getting married tomorrow. you and your whole family are invited of course,
you made me seem like part of the family.
i will never forget the love i felt for you, but it must come to an end.
when i saw you kiss peter, my heart sunk for a moment. but i realised i couldn't have you forever. if you wish to be with him, i'm happy for
you both.

love, elio.

your kidding, right? he thinks i want to be with his brother when he was just a distraction.

honestly, right now all i want to do is cry. i don't want to go to his wedding when it's with someone else, why would he invite me when he knows how deeply i feel about him.

i don't want to give up on us- but i just... i cant keep going on like this. i cant wait for someone who clearly doesn't want me.