Those Silly Days

CHAPTER 51

I turn around, tossing and turning. I quickly pick the pillow over my head and placing it over my ears as the voices from below escape upstairs. I turn again, pressing my hand and pillow hard on my face but nothing seems to block the shouts and curses from below.

As always, they seem to be accusing each other of something. God only knows what it is this time and who started this fight. Another loud crashes filter through my door and my body shudders. Throwing my pillow away, I sit up pushing my covers away. Flinging the door open, I run down the stairs to see my parents fight in the hall this time. This explains why their shouts and curses were so loud.

"Can you stop fighting for one night? Someone here sleeps at night rather than getting drunk and fighting."I say, walking back up but never looking at their faces because if I did then the 15 year old me will lose all the guts that took me here to speak.

Silence exists for a moment as I slide between my covers and then I hear fighting again and this time it's me that they are fighting over, blaming one another for making me miserable when they are both responsible. Small tears slip my eyes as I hear them shout accusations at each other again. More tears run down as my parents accuse every fucking shit at one another. Louder they shout, harder my tears flow until they are no longer in my control. I feel my body shaking as tears keep flowing.

I feel my body shaking harder and someone calling me by my name. I still feel the tears slip from my eyes.

"J... baby girl? Wake up!" I hear a panicked voice call me.

My eyes slowly function to open. It takes me a moment to focus my tear stained eyes.

"Manav, what are you doing here?" I manage to croak out, my voice hoarse.

"You were crying and shuddering in your sleep, J" Manav says, surprise lacing his voice.

"Are you alright? Was that a bad dream, babygirl?" he continues to ask.

I don't know what to say to him. Too many things race through my mind as I think of what I should tell Manav. I didn't expect another nightmare to happen in a row. I don't know if I should call this a nightmare. This is more like a recollection of what has happened to me in the past.

"Baby... you don't have to tell me anything if you don't feel like sharing to me." Manav says as he hands me glass of water to me. I sip a little as thoughts of past engulf me again.

Warmth engulfs me. I notice Manav wraps his arms around me. I sigh and let the warmth seep through. Minutes pass by, my thoughts become settled.

"It was about my past and what happened back then. Just all those came back to me." I whisper quietly.

"Does this happen often? Or... did it come back because of something?" he asks.

The night is quiet and slow moonlight filtering in makes everything ethereal. The only sound that can be heard in this room is our breathing, slow and hard like the only constant that exists.

"Not always. Most nights when the fights occurred, I barely could sleep. After I left home, I did have a hard time sleeping in but then there were no night demons/my parents that I was scared of and sleep came to me naturally." My voice could barely be heard but the quiet night made everything audible.

"Then why right now?"

"I don't know! I had a similar experience the night before. Maybe recollecting it all to you has brought that unrest back to my heart." I theorized.

"Maybe it did, babe. I want you to know that you don't have to tell me anything if it hurts you. I would never want that for you. You know that, right?" Manav asks.