The Experience Of Covid-19.

"Quarantine"

I'm back from Ohio and it is Saturday. I'm exhausted. I can't wake up. I feel drained. I worked hard this week and I do have a physically demanding job. I will be working from home exclusively next week, and I don't know for how long. I started a list of groceries if I need anything else, but nothing is urgent right now. I'm trying to stay busy but also just try to decompress.

I took my dog to the park this morning. The walking trails were open, but all of the fields and the playgrounds had been closed for nearly a week. When we got there, it was so quiet. We made our way from the parking lot to the main walking trails, no children screamed or laughed. No baseballs were hit or soccer balls kicked. I heard birds and the interstate in the distance, along with my dog's tags and collar. It was oddly quiet. It was so quiet I could hear my dog panting. Normally the sounds of the park (the children and the sports and other people and cars) drown out the medium-sized dog at my side.

There were a handful of people on the walking trails. Most of us were adults. I only saw one family with young children.

For a midday on Saturday, the roads were quiet. There weren't many people out. I didn't drive by any grocery stores or anything. I saw maybe five other cars on the road.

I had to take my dog. I have to stay active, right? I'm already suffering from depression. Initially I thought I would be okay through this. I'm trying to stay positive and busy and strong, but this is tough. It's tough going through this alone.

I should start a new schedule. I should out on actual clothes for the day, rather than pajamas or sweatpants. I should make an effort to do my hair or clean or cook something in preparation. I should revise my resume, read the stack of books, or finish my novel. I really need to get back to yoga. I loved how I felt when I was active, and as long as the park is open, my dog and I will be there.

It was just announced that my town has its first known case of the virus.

We knew it was here. We knew it was coming. It was at all of the grocery stores. The governor gave a speech tonight. He tried to be reassuring and bring people together. He praised the healthcare workers and the retail workers who are tireless in their efforts to keep the rest of us healthy and supplied. They are running out of masks and gloves and personal protective equipment. They are all running on empty and people won't just stay the hell home. The governor urged us all to stay home, that we have a chance of beating this thing. He acknowledged the very poor health of West Virginians, but he isn't shutting the state down yet. Some states have shut down entirely for two weeks or more. Some people have to work. They have to. Most people can't miss a paycheck. How many of you are one paycheck away from missing a rent payment?

Bars and restaurants have gone to takeout or delivery only. Salons are closed. Large gatherings are banned. Schools are closed.

I saw today the DOJ wants additional powers to detain people without a trial. That is unconstitutional. That's a straight power grab to fly in the face of justice.

It's an election year, and primaries have been postponed.

Things are getting worse.

The thing is though, I don't have an answer. I really don't. I know what I would like to see but the polarization of politics in the United States won't allow it. The government wants to send $1,000 checks to people but that won't even cover rent in many places. The $1,000 will help in a time of uncertainty, but we need reassurance and we need to see action. The best action we can take right now is to stay home.

I started writing this at 3:00 pm. It's now close to 10:00 pm.