Unrequited

felicity.

I rubbed my temples at the scene that just occurred in the break room.

"W-want me to go get the car?" Paris stuttered to break the tense atmosphere.

"Yes, please."

While I sat in the room, I just stared at the grey walls the surrounded me. I thought about how they witness so much and can't even say a word. 

I could feel my tears start to blur my vision. I rubbed my belly, and just closed my eyes. I'm tired of these tears, I'm tired of waiting for someone to be good to me when I can't even understand myself.

It's been 2 months since what happened at the house. I'm working on getting over the pain, but hearing those words just hit me where it hurts.

A puppy? He thought of me as a fucking puppy?

To take away my train of thought, I heard my phone ring. It was Paris texting me she was outside.

I wiped my tears, and walked back to my office to grab my things. I put on my million dollar smile as I walked past my colleagues. 

I walked down the steps and threw my bags in the backseat before hopping in the front seat.

I took my hair out of the bun I had and let my hair fall, as Paris drove through the streets with the windows down. After a while, we made it home. I took off my heels and walked into the house. I didn't even bother looking Paris's way. 

Everyone can go to hell. I should've stayed in bed.

Are the words that replayed over and over in my head as I ignored the dogs and dreadful went up in my room. I threw my dress, bra, panties, earrings, and anything else on my body to the floor. I slid on one of my over sized shirts and curled up in my bed with my stuffed elephant.

Once one tear fell, the rest came pouring down. My heart ached, it ached over and over. No words could describe this feeling. 

The moans from my cries were years of pain, not because of Adonis, but for myself. How could I be so stupid? How could I believe that a baby would change things? How could I let myself get into things this deep? Maybe my folks were right, everyone will do you dirty in the end. 

After the sunset, my loud cries turned into soft sobs. I wiped my tears and sat up in my bed, slowly breathing in and out to calm down. I stared into my soon to be dark room and sighed.

I rubbed my hands against my satin sheets and rubbed the spot the next to me. I don't even yearn for his presence. Just a presence.

Then I rubbed my belly, my little one hearing my cries and feeling my pain. All I could say was..

sorry my love.

I slowly got up and stumbled down stairs only to come face to face with rose petals all over the kitchen floor. Two bottles of Sparkling Apple cider in a cute red bin of ice sat on the kitchen counter with a sample platter of my favorite Chinese food.

I definitely grabbed a wing before opening the refrigerator and spotting a small cake as well. With a small red envelope on top.

I tried not to cry again, while looking at all the rose petals all over the floor and making my way to the living room. I heard the back door slide to the side and let the puppies roam in. I hurriedly hid behind the wall as the dogs trotted past.

"Ya'll mom sleep so please try not to eat the flowers before she wakes. She'll be in my ass if one of you guys choke on one." I heard Paris whisper.

I would've gotten  away with my hiding spot until London decided to lick my toes and I accidentally let out a giggle.

"Thanks London for pointing out momma for me." Paris chuckled.

Paris let out a happy bark once I stepped out of my hiding spot.

"I know you probably wanted to be alone after today, but I still wanted to keep my promise." she said smiling softly.

"Your imaginary girlfriend definitely would've broken up with you if she saw all of this." I blushed trying to laugh off how I felt at the moment.

"Glad she's on vacation then." she chuckled while walking over to me.

"Perfect Timing as the vampires would say." I giggled.

"Everything was supposed to be a surprise, you didn't look in the fridge did you?" Paris asked.

"Nope, I didn't even know I had a fridge." I replied horribly lying in the process.

"Did you open the envelope?" 

"Nah, It's still sitting on the top of the cake detective." I salute to her playfully.

Paris rolled her eyes before grabbing some plates, "Well I got a sample platter with all your favorite foods you like. Please try not to eat all the egg rolls."

"Paris, this is too much. I don't deserve all of this. I ignored you the whole car ride home and when I came in the house. I feel like a horrible friend." I sigh.

"You had a rough day, you've been in a toxic relationship for going on a year and  it's been a hot min since you guys parted, and you heard some harsh words today that aren't true by someone who never deserved you in my opinion. Anybody wouldn't have the effort to look at anything after that. It's okay to have feelings Asia." she said softly after sitting down  at the counter with her plate.

A smile found it's way on my lips after hearing that. Sure, I made a mistake and I'm still valid to feel shitty about it. It's life.

"Thanks Paris, for everything. Really, I've been so hard on myself. I didn't take time to think about how damaging everything was  and especially on me mentally." I said sitting next to her.

"No need to thank me, but just don't let someone get to you that deep. Not even me. You've got a little one to take care of. Remember?" Paris chirped.

"Yeah, I hope the wine didn't affect her too much. I can't believe its going on three months already." I smile looking down at my belly.

"Do you know the gender?"

"I haven't had time in my schedule to go get checked.I was supposed to go tomorrow but I got 4 business meetings lined up.I hope its a boy, if it's a girl she'll definitely be spoiled." I reply before I put another spoonful of rice in my mouth.

"Want me to take you tomorrow then? I'll get Ishani to clear out your schedule. You gotta start preparing for yourself and the little one. You gotta start caring about yourself now. Adonis out of the picture." Paris said while taking her plate and mines to put in the sink.

"I should. I've been ignoring my mommy duties lately." I say rubbing my temples.

"Well to cheer up the little one inside you and you, I got your favorite cider and cheesecake." she said softly laying everything out on the counter on cute red plates.

"Paris, aww you know cheesecake is my favorite!" I squealed.

"I know mamas, but you only get cake if you promise not to drink anything else alcoholic. For the baby's sake. Pinky promise?" she said while holding out her pinky.

"Pinky promiseee, now slide the cake over here." I replied while wrapping my pinky around hers.

"Here you hungry ass monster, but you don't get this envelope til later." she laughed sliding me the cake and taking the envelope off the top.

After 3 slices of cake & 4 glasses of Apple cider, I was definitely stuffed. I slowly walked over to the couch and watched episodes of 6teen with Paris. We laughed at the dumbest shit the whole night and even had a small dance party to un-stuff me. I never laughed and smiled so hard in my life.

what a night to remember.