Unrequited

languor.

I sighed as I closed the door to my house. 

To think I still have work in the morning, after dealing with all of this bullshit.

I looked out the window and saw it raining. 

My emotions were like the rain, pouring into anything or anyone because I don't have the power to love myself. I let out a burp before rubbing my temples. My head was throbbing like hell.

I looked at the clock and saw it was 1 in the morning. I stumbled to turn off the lights and grabbed my phone.

Just before I reached my bedroom door, I got a phone call from Paris.

"You're still awake your highness?" she joked on the other line.

"Oh fuck off, I was just heading up to my room. An unexpected visitor came, and I just kicked them out of my h-house and life."  I said drunkenly.

"Don't tell me you've been drinking Asia."

"And if I am? What are you going to do Paris?" I spat.

It seemed like everyone wanted to anger me tonight.

"I just wanted to tell you what time I was going to pick you up. Since your car is in the parking lot. You sure you'll be fine by yourself? I can drop by if you want me to?"

I really did want some ice cream and the only person I could probably tolerate when I'm angry is Paris.

"Fine, but only if you bring me chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream," I commanded.

"Yes your highness, I'll be there in a few. Leave the door unlocked in case you fall asleep."

"Ay Ay Captain."

As I stumbled into my master bedroom, I slid off my dress and looked at myself in the mirror. My chocolate skin, stretch marks, bumps, and scars looked back at me in my reflection. 

Am I still beautiful?

I sighed and slipped on a silk robe before laying on my bed waiting on Paris. Rubbing my hands through the sheets reminded me of the times I slept in my bed. It was complete nostalgia. 

Before I could lay and reminisce, I heard my front door open and close.

"I'm here where are you?"

"Where else would I be?!" I yell from my bedroom.

As she appeared in front of my doorway, I could feel my mouth already salivating at the icecream in her hand.

"Calm down cookie monster. Here though." Paris softly smiled before laying down on my bed.

"Thanks, you're the best honestly. Tonight was so shitty." I say scooting up next to her and laying my head on her chest.

"Well I'm all ears, so I don't mind hearing."

"I don't wanna burden you with it right now, I hate how I'm such a lightweight when it comes to alcohol Par," I say shoving a scoop of ice cream in my mouth.

"I hate it too, I'm surprised you made it up the stairs."

I punched her in the arm for her slick ass comment. After finishing up my ice cream, Paris went down in the kitchen to put it in the freezer for me. I slid under my covers waiting for her to come back.

"Well I know how you need your space, so I'll go sleep in the guest room," she said after coming back from downstairs.

"Noo, you can sleep with me tonight. If you don't mind?" I say rubbing my eye.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, you big giant." I reply pulling my sheets back.

Paris is around 6'3 and I'm a smooth 5'8. I couldn't help but laugh at how awkwardly she got into bed with me.

I latched my arms around her and sighed as we both laid awake in the dark.

"You think I'd be a good mom Par?" I say while tracing figure eights on her stomach.

"Yeah totally, you've got a heart of gold. Just with a few scratches from being mishandled wrong that's all. Your past doesn't define you Asia."

"What am I supposed to tell the little one about their father? Do I lie? Tell the truth?"

"You'll figure it out in due time. Don't pop a blood vessel stressing about it now." she placed a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I just know I always talk about change in my life but I keep doing fucked up shit, trusting fucked up people, and not doing shit about it."

"Asia, everyone's going to go through or have been through the things you're going through now. It's up to you to let it build your character or tear it down. I'm sure you want to be a strong mommy for your little one, so keep that in thought as well."

"How do you always know what to say?" I sighed snuggling on Paris's chest.

"What you're going through now I went through high school, just instead of me being pregnant and sleeping with a married man. My people couldn't handle the fact I liked girls and they were my main support. So my trust is fucked up a bit just like yours."

"You're the only person I know that can insult someone and have a spiritual meaning at the same time." I chuckled.

"Go to bed."

"I will. Good night Big foot." I say with my eyes closed and a smirk.

With that, I slowly drifted off asleep.

One hour later...

"Stop kissing me. You don't have permission to touch me. Especially after the shit, you said." I whined.

"Let me make it up to you," Adonis responded sweetly.

"Make it up how?" I giggled.

"Pleasing you as a queen should be pleased," he replied with a long lick from my neck to my ear.

"You can't. I won't let yo-"

Before I could finish my sentence, I felt a pair of warm hands slowly grope my breasts and caress my nipples with their thumbs.

"Talking back I see? Dare to speak another word?" he smiled with a smirk.

"You think you're all big and ba-"

Cutting me off again, but this time with a long passionate kiss. Our tongues fought for dominance yet intertwined after I gave up. Being kissed like this felt like pure ecstasy.

"Oh, Don. I guess you realized who you loved truly?"

After those words left my mouth, it grew quiet.

"Adonis?"