Unrequited

euphoria.

I let out a loud burp and blew it into Paris's face, she gagged at the smell of my breath.

"Didn't know death was between your mouth and legs." she joked.

I rolled my eyes playfully and yawned. I looked at the clock and it was already one in the morning.

"I know that isn't the Queen yawning so unlady like." Paris said in a royal fashion.

"Dear peasant, your queen has been overjoyed with the celebration yet she is extremely exhausted." I reply with a smile.

I know out of everyone in this big world, Paris knew how to make my worst times the best times. I love her for it.

"Well would the majesty like her royal chariot to her quarters?" she continued.

"Yes go fetch it peasant." I respond before laughing.

Before I could say another word, Paris picked me up bridal style and starting walking to my bedroom.

I laid my head against the crook of her neck and listened to her heartbeat.

"You had fun tonight?"

"Yup, all thanks to you. I'm glad you're always in my corner." I say sleepily.

We arrived in my bedroom, she laid me down, and slid my sheets over me.

"I'll go sleep in the other room just in case you start having hot flashes again. good night though." Paris joked.

Before she could turn around, I grabbed her hand.

"Mind sleeping with me tonight? If that's not too much?"

I know it seems greedy of me asking her to stay, but I'm just not comfortable being alone right now.

"Sure. Let me go shower up and I'll be back." 

And with those words she kissed my forehead before leaving.

I grabbed my phone and scrolled through company emails, deleted Adonis's number, and all the pictures I had stored. I rolled my eyes at the thought of what I put myself through.

The remaining pictures I had left were of Paris and I, with some of the kids of course.

I miss them.

I stared out the window and thought about how pretty the full moon shined against my dark skin. 

Why are the worth of the most alluring entities realized so late?

While stuck in thought, Paris came from out of the shower in a bra & some boxers before sliding into bed next to me. I snuggled right into the crook of her neck and let out a soft sigh.

"I know today was rough but you know I'm always going to have your back." Paris cooed.

"About earlier was-"

Before I could speak another word, the doorbell rang.

"Who could be at the door this time of night." I groaned while getting up from my comfortable spot in Paris's arms.

"You sure you don't want me to get it?" she responded.

"Nah, movement is good for the baby. I'll be right back you sit tight." I say as I wave her to stay there in bed.

As I made my way down to the door, I could only name two or three people that would show up at my house at night. The main person that came to mind was Adonis, but I couldn't put my name on it.

I opened the door, just to come face to face with someone covered in all black suit with a black ski mask as well. With the swiftness I tried to close the door as fast as I could only to take a punch to my stomach.Then to my face, stomach, and face again, I let out a blood fueling scream throughout the house as my last cry of help.

I tried to push them off me but whoever it was they were three times my size. I prayed Paris heard me and would come to my rescue.

My body ached in pain, from my  red filled eyes, bloody face, all the way to my stomach. I prayed over and over that the baby didn't suffer any damages.

 My little princess, I didn't want to hurt you this way.

Paris came running down the stairs and pushed the perpetrator off me, but that's all I could remember before I blacked out.

The darkness consumed me like a big blanket, for a long nap was waiting for me.

I woke up in a hospital gown and a major headache. As I slowly got my vision back I looked over to see an exhausted Paris, a big bouquet of flowers, and a pretty baby blue card with my name on it.

I tried moving my hand a little bit to wake up Paris enough, my body was still in immense pain from the attack.

My heart raced at the playback of the whole altercation in my mind. Why didn't I check through the peephole first? Why'd I have to be so gullible and just open the door when its late as it was?

Paris saw me awake and started crying softly.

"I didn't think you were going to wake up Asia. My heart was hurting seeing you all bloodied up on the floor. I thought I had lost you my love." she struggled to say past her tears.

I wanted to say something back but all that came out my mouth were small croaks.

"Don't say anything Asia, I'll never forgive who did this. I'm going to go get the doctor, be patient my love." 

And with that Paris left my room and I was stuck staring at the ceiling wall and my room.

I couldn't stop my tears from falling down my face. No matter how bad I wanted to wipe them I know they'd continue to fall.

For someone who supposedly has their shit together, this definitely isn't the look for it.

I wonder if God will take me tonight, if he does I hope he helps Paris find another person that'll care for her as much as I do.

Before I was about to close my heavy eyelids, Paris came back in with the doctor.

"Good evening Ms. Murray. I'm Dr. Rhodes. I'm glad to see that you're awake. Unfortunately, because of your attack we had to remove the fetus that was inside you early because of how your organs were ruptured. The fetus wasn't going to be able to recover properly with such destruction to your arteries. If we let the baby stay inside of you, your lungs and heart would've collapsed trying to support your life and the babies. You lost a lot of blood during the whole process so we're going to keep you here a few days to monitor your blood levels and your recovery."

I.. lost the baby.

I was planning on aborting the baby anyways but it still hurts for some reason. Part of me wanted to keep it, parts of me thought I wasn't ready. But it seems like the universe made that decision for me.

"Don't cry Asia, you can make another one with due time. Your life was at stake my love." she said softly gripping my now numb hand.

All I could do was cry, my heart was beating faster than any day of my life, my body felt as if it wasn't mines anymore, and someone I never met has already been taken away from me.

Pain is only temporary right?

I tried to force myself to nod and smile at the doctor but who am I kidding, I was dying and screaming on the inside.

Why couldn't have I went instead?