freakshow

she still loves you darling. even though shes not with us anymore.

Jimmy has been good to me recently. I think he's still super guilty about what happened. It's been about 2 weeks since the accident. Some awful stuff has happened since then. It hasn't been all sunshine and flowers, which I knew it wouldn't be, but it would be nice to have a break from  all this. Ma petite went missing a couple days ago, and this strange man keeps showing up. I think him and Madison know each other, but she won't admit it. Everyone has sort of been on edge since she went missing. All of a sudden i'm taken away from my thought by a knock on the door. "Hey can I come in?" Jimmy asks at the door. "Yeah yeah sure come in." I say. He comes and sits down on the bed next to me. "I wanted to talk to you about, um, well...sex." He says to me. "Um yeah sure go ahead." "Okay so I know after what happened last time it'll be different. Just know I'm ready whenever you are. I love you. It's a big thing and I know how much it means to you." He tells me. I hug him and respond with, "Thank you Jimmy, and you know what, I think I'm ready. I'm tired of being scared of everything." I say. "Are you sure?" He asks. "Yeah. For real this time. I'm ready." I tell him. "When do you want t-" "Tonight." "Haha wow okay then." He smiles and says to me. Wow we're really gonna do this. I'm nervous but excited at the same time. Jimmy leans over and kisses me, and then leaves the trailer. I can't wait for tonight.

5 hours later

Welp. It's time. Jimmy is about to be here, and we're really gonna do this. I hear a knock on the door. "Come in." I say flirtatiously. Jimmy slowly opens the door and walks in. "Wow. You look...amazing." He says while walking over to me. He puts his arms over my shoulders and pushes me gently onto the bed. He starts kissing me, and well you know what happens after that. Once we're done, Jimmy and I lay down next to each other, and Jimmy falls asleep. I turn to look at him. He deserves way more than what he's been given. He's amazing. I couldn't even come close to imagining everything he's gone through in life. "Goodnight Jimmy" I kiss him on the forehead, and fall asleep next to him.

The next day

"Hey wake up baby." Someone says. Jimmy. Jimmy says. "UgHhHhHhH I don't wanna" I reply. He laughs a little bit and continues doing whatever he's doing. I slowly take the covers off and put one of Jimmys T-shirts on. When I try to get up my legs tremble a little bit, but I'm able to get some balance. "You okay?" Jimmy asks. "Yeah yeah I'm...perfect." I say and smile at him. "We should probably go meet everyone else for breakfast." I say. "Yeah of course."
We walk out to the main tent. Once we walk in, everyone looks over at us with sad looks on their faces. "Whats wrong?" I say with a nervous chuckle. Suddenly Miss. Elsa bursts into tears. "Guys what's going on?" Jimmy asks. Most people are crying. Others just have sad looks on their face. "Jimmy, I'm sorry honey it's your mama." Dot says. "What? What happened where is she?" Jimmy asks. "She's- Shes- dead." Miss Elsa says. Suddenly the whole mood changes. Jimmys face drops, and my stomach turns inside out. "How did it happen?" I ask. "Car accident." Madison says. "We think it was a suicide." She says. Jimmy doesn't say anything. Not a single word. He doesn't move a single muscle. We just turn our heads and look at each other. I look deeply into his eyes. Nothing. Tears start to form in my eyes. She was like a mother to me. She was there for me when Jimmy would be distant. She thought me most of the things I know now. The only difference was she wasn't my actual mother. But she was Jimmys mom. I can't even imagine what's going through his head right now. His eyes glaze over, and tears start to fall down his face. Then, he runs off to god knows where. I feel like I should run after him, but he needs time right now to process this. Once he's ready, he'll come back. Everyone just needs to give him time.

3 hours later

Still not back. It's almost dark out and he still hasn't come back. I've just been waiting in the trailer all day.

Bam

Jimmy bursts into the trailer. I can smell the alcohol from over here. "Jimmy how you doin?" I ask him. He just looks at me. "Leave me alone." He says. "Jimmy you know I can't do that." I tell him. "Y/n I don't want to deal with you right now. Leave." He says in a more aggressive tone. "Jimmy come on. This isn't like you. And since when do you drink?" I say. "Y/n for the last time GET OUT." He yells. "Jimmy no. I'm not leaving. You can't be alone right now." "Y/N GET OUT. GET OUT THIS- THIS IS YOUR FAUL- JUST JUST GET OUT." He says. His words aren't full and he's stumbling around. He's clearly had a LOT to drink. "No." "Y/n I'm serious get out." "No." "TELL ME NO ONE MORE TIME I DARE YOU." He says. I look him dead in the eye. "No." He runs over to where I am on the bed, and picks me up by my shirt. "that's it." He says. I'm kind of scared now. He's never acted this way before. He drags me by the shirt, and throws me out of the trailer onto the ground. I hit the ground hard and hit my head. He slams the door closed and turns off the light. "God damn it Jimmy." I whisper to myself as I stand up. My head hurts like crazy, but I need to get to Desiree's trailer so I can have a place to sleep. I knew Jimmy would be sad about his mother, but the facts that he threw me out like that is terrifying. I need to tell someone.