freakshow

promise? promise.

I felt something. Like I FELT something. As in I had emotions for the first time in weeks. I wanna be in the freak show. I wanna be myself. I wanna be me. The shows ended but I can't seem to stop looking at the stage. My mom shakes my shoulder to try and get my attention. "Honey the shows over, its time to go." But the thing is, I don't want to. I felt happy here. When I saw that guy I felt, what's the word, almost scared? But not in the way you'd think. It was like I wanted to know more about him. I want to know just, him. But I can't. After what happened to my dad, I can't let anyone in. My dad was my closest friend and now he's gone. I can't risk that again. I didn't realize that I was crying until my mom told me. I ran through the tents to get to the bathroom. Once I get to the bathroom, I just let it all out. I hadn't cried about my dad until now. So many emotions are running through my head. I can't think straight and my legs start to shake. Someone knocks on the door suddenly and it scared the shit outta me. I wipe off my face and open the door. "Hey are you okay miss? I saw you run in here..are you crying?" "Um.." Well I can't lie to him. He saw me run in here. "Yes. Yeah I was." "Do you wanna talk about it?" "No not really." I flash him a weak smile so he knows I'm fine. Even though i'm not. "Well my names Jimmy. I'm one of the freaks" "Nice to meet you Jimmy. I'm y/n. Also you're not a freak. Not to me." "Thanks y/n." He smirks and then grabs my hand, and then he walks me back to my mom.
Before we get back, he grabs my arm gently and turns me around. "Come back soon, y/n."
"I will. I promise." We look into each others eyes for a split second and then I walk away. I'll be back. Soon.