Thantophobia

Chapter 16

Two Months Later

I was at the cafe again, alone and not expecting anyone. My finger slowly skimmed around the cup that held tea. I refuse to drink any coffee or anything with caffeine nowadays.

Since that was a reason I lost my baby...

I shake my head, not wanting to think about it. I begin typing and working on my laptop again. I started to work from home because Being anywhere besides the cafe or my house sent me into a panic attack. But I had to make myself a living somehow. I won't even go to see my therapist.

Jaden has been great, not only as a friend, but as a boss. He hasn't talked to me about Ransom or the baby at all since the hospital visit. He has adjusted to my work schedule, brought me food consistently on Friday nights and usually watched a movie or binged a TV show with me, and just overall supportive.

I gave him permission to tell Berkeley about everything, so sometimes she stopped by with Jaden as well. She doesn't mention anything either.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts as someone sits across the same table as me. I look up from my laptop and see a woman with chocolate brown eyes, tan skin, and her dark brown, almost black hair, was just a mere stubble on her head. Like she shaved it recently.

I narrow my eyes at her, because something seemed really familiar about her. My eyes trail down her body, and they stop on a mark on her skin, where her neck and shoulders meet.

She's an alpha.

She doesn't say anything as I examine her. Just watches me closely.

"Um, hi?" I raise an eyebrow out of curiosity.

"You've changed. But it's nice to see you again." She folds her arm over her chest, and leans back in the booth seating.

My eyes widened. The voice is something I will always remember. I shut my laptop, and don't say anything. Which I have gotten really good at, by the way.

"Liam wasn't lying when he said he was concerned about you when he ran into you here. You look rough." she honestly tells me, but not in a rude way.

"What are you doing here, Arina?" I ask monotonously.

"Getting my beta back." wow, she likes to get straight to the point.

"I'm not anyone's beta." I tell her as I pack up my laptop.

"You see, that's where you're wrong. You still have a pack waiting for you. You've ran long enough, but it's time to stop and come home." Arina explains to me calmly.

"I have no pack. I'm a rogue wolf. and I am home, here in Albuquerque." I stare right back at her, only her gaze is more intense.

The corner of her lips tug into a sarcastic smile. "This is no home for you, Kyle. Not like Ohio. And, you are a Beta. Not a rogue."

"Listen, we could go at this argument all day, but i'm staying alone for a reason, and i'm not going back for a reason. I mean, how could I? Everyone would hate me after what, um, he did." I begin to ramble, and after I mention my past mate, I shut my mouth.

Her strong gaze turns to one of empathy. "Kyle, if you're afraid of the pack judging you for something you did not see coming, you're wrong. We just want you back. We need you back."

I shake my head. "I've been gone for too long now. I wouldn't be of much help anymore. Find a new beta, i'm not the person to fill the spot."

I get up out of the booth and grab my laptop bag and my cup that's half full with tea.

She gets up as well and grabs my wrist. "There's no better person for the job besides you. Just please think about it."

I wrestle my wrist free from her strong grip. "Listen, I can't be a beta. My wolf hasn't come out in six years. He's not dead, but i'm pretty sure he's close. Again, find someone else. I'm just as useful as a normal human." I try not to growl at her.

Arina doesn't seem phased by my stubbornness though. It's probably exactly what she has been expecting.

She grabs a pen from out of her pocket and takes my arm again, and writes down a phone number. "When you change your mind, call me. I'll be here in New Mexico until you come home with me."

Before I can protest and tell her to not wait up for me to come around, she finds her way out of the cafe, not looking back.

I watch as she exits, crosses the street, bumps into ransom, gets in her car, and-

Wait, Ransom?

I rush out of the cafe, and sure enough, it's him. His hair is no longer buzzed like the last time I saw him, but not as long as when we first met. He's definitely been working out consistently, because he looks almost the same, if not a little stronger than the last time I saw him.

I run after him, discarding my tea, and eventually cut him off.

He stops, clearly shocked that i'm standing in front of him for the first time in two months.

"What do you want?" he asks roughly, clearly not in the mood to see or talk to me.

"I'm sorry." Is all I can muster up to say to him.

I really am pathetic.

Ransom just stares blankly back at me, for moving past me and continuing to walk on to his destination.

Is he being serious right now? I ran after him and cut his path off again, and if I thought he wasn't bothered by me before, he clearly is now.

"I'm trying to apologize to you. Say something. Please?" I practically beg him.

"Why should I talk to you when you never talked to me?" Ransom asks me.

My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. He continues.

"Like you never said something about us being mates. Or the baby? Tell me, Kyle, what have you not told me that is life changing?" He exaggerates.

"I didn't know I was pregnant until I was in that ER with you! You surely can't hold that against me." I accuse.

"I call bullshit. You knew so much that you didn't bother to even mention to me. You're a good for nothing liar." He yells.

Luckily no one is in the streets to overhear all of this, but that doesn't help my embarrassment at all.

Clearly done with our argument, he walks around me, and this time I don't go after him. I cant even look back at him.

I run my hands through my messy hair, and stop the flow of oncoming tears. All I can think about is how right he is. I'm nothing but a liar and a coward.