Thantophobia

Chapter 31

I was slowly getting better as the days went on. At least I could breathe a lot easier than I used too.

It still hurt to bend down, and I couldn't pick things up that weighed more than 5 pounds. But hey, I could get out of bed.

Right now I was with Ransom, Luca, and Liam. We were all watching a show together, and it was nice spending time with them that didn't consist of pack warrior fighting stuff.

But that moment was quickly ruined.

"Kyle, can we talk?" Arina enters the room, everyone turning their heads towards her. The show was quickly paused.

"Uh, sure. You guys can keep watching." I stand up, leaving the comfort of my mates arms.

They all nod, playing the show again as I walk out of the room with Arina.

She gives me a small smile, and she leads me to her office.

I walk in before her as she holds open the door, and she shuts it gently behind her.

I take a seat in a chair across her desk, while she leans on the corner of the furniture.

"I want to thank you." She begins, and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Excuse me?"

"Before Enzo does this morning, he woke up and confirmed a few suspicions that Ansaldo and I had. Can I share it with you?" Arina says carefully, afraid that she'll hit a nerve with talking about Enzo to me.

I shrug. "Go ahead. I'm listening."

"The 'rogues' attacking us were some remaining followers of Elizabeth. We only believed she had witches on her side, but she tried to charm whoever came useful to her. And Enzo, was in on it from the beginning. All those years ago." She explains.

"What? Why?" I sit up straighter, shocked but not really at what I was hearing.

"Enzo told me this morning that Elizabeth was his mate. They worked together, and he knew about Easton. He threatened to kill Easton if he muttered a word to us, and sure enough, Easton tried, Enzo found out, and you know the rest."

I was shocked. Stunned. I felt like I could no longer breathe.

Easton wanted to help the pack, and not her. And he was murdered for it.

I bite my lip, going into deep thought.

It will now be a lot harder to blame myself for his death now. I know Easton told me to stop blaming myself, but as much as I was a werewolf I was also human, and it would be a process before I could stop thinking that, even if I knew for certain it was a lie to myself.

"Kyle?" Arina snaps me out of my thoughts. I hum. "We wouldn't have known this without you going after him. So I'm thanking you."

I blink back some tears, not wanting to cry over this.

"And with that, we want you to be this packs beta." She says firmly, and I take in a shaky breath.

"I can't." I mumble, and it was Arina's turn to be confused.

"If this is about not having your wolf, it's okay. You are still intelligent and strong enough to fill the position." She rushes out, and I shake my head.

"It's not just that Arina, it's not about my wolf. I know I'm smart and strong enough for the role, but I can't." My hands firmly squeeze the arms of the chair I sat in.

She stands up. "Then what is stopping you?"

"Ransom." I say easily, and she stays silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I have lost so much from this life. From being a werewolf. My mate, my wolf, any good future I had is gone. But I can have a new start with someone who was chosen for me, where I won't have to worry about them dying every single day.

"Call me a coward for basically running away from this life, but I have someone who I love, and who I must protect. I can't do that here." I stand up from the chair.

Arina crosses her arms over her chest. After a minute or so of silence, she reluctantly nods after being stuck in thought from what I said.

"Let me guess, who want to go back to Albuquerque?" She tilts her head, and I nod.

"I'll visit. You guys are my family. You've given me a reason to come back to you guys, but I can't stay. Give the position to someone more worthy, more stable, and more deserving. Also preferably someone with a wolf." I add on the last bit at the end to lighten the mood between us.

She gives a small chuckle. "You're a good man Kyle."

I nod. "Thanks. You're a good Alpha. And I know you want the best for your pack, but that's something I can't provide."

She leans in for a hug, which I return. "I wish you could see from my eyes on how great of a person you are, through everything you've been through. You even came here after I pestered you about it."

"Yeah, don't do that again." I point accusingly after we let go, and she nods.

"My bad." She chuckles, and I playfully roll my eyes. "So when are you thinking about leaving?"

I shrug. "Maybe in a few days, just so we can say goodbye and all that."

Arina nods. I'm surprised at just how understanding she is over all of this.

Ransom and I have discussed this quite a bit since I woke up, and we both agreed it's not smart to live here and be at a constant state of risk.

"Anyways, want to watch a show or something with everyone downstairs?" I point to the door, and she laughs, shaking her head.

"I have some work to do still, unfortunately. And one of them includes finding a new beta." She playfully hits my arm, and I shake my head.

"Well, I wish you luck. Whoever is the next beta I know will not disappoint you. You'll choose the right person." I give her a comforting smile.

"Thanks." She goes to sit in her chair, and I dip my head in respect.

"Have a good night."

"You too."

And with that, I shut the door behind me, feeling even more liberated than I have felt before.