Thantophobia

Chapter 17

If anyone thinks they are a couch potato, then they clearly have not met me yet.

The past two weeks since I have talked to Ransom in the street, i've just been working nonstop from home, or watching things on my TV from my couch. I don't even leave to go to the coffee shop anymore.

It was a Friday night, and I was waiting for Jaden to come over as he usually does nowadays. I even picked out the series we were watching. It's called The 100.

Finally, I hear a knock at the door, which is weird, because Jaden just usually enters my place like its his own.

I get off the couch and walk over to the door to open it.

"Jaden why are you knockin- oh." I stop mid-sentence.

Ransom stood at my door, in an army green shirt and dark gray jeans. His hair was the same as always, but he looked more tired then usual.

"Jaden suggested that I, uh, take his place tonight." He held up a bag of food from a local restaurant. "I brought food."

I stare at him. He is clearly not as hostile as the last time we saw each other. I'm actually surprised he didn't rip my head off or something.

I debated on whether or not to invite him into my place, because what he said to me last time hurt like he threw a ton of bricks at me. But they were the truth, and he had every right in the world to say those things to me.

I decided to close the door. I just didn't want to talk to him or see him anymore. Even if he told the truth about me, can't say it didn't hurt, and I cant say i'm a petty bitch.

Unlucky to me, he stuck his foot in the door before it could fully close. Frustrated, I open the door again and glare at him.

"I'm not taking no for an answer." He tells me firmly.

Reluctantly, I sidestepped at my entrance, and let him walk past me into my apartment. I watched him look around curiously, as the last time he was here, he didn't bother to actually look at the place.

"You can set the food on the counter." I finally say to him, and we both walked to my kitchen in silence.

He places the food on the counter, and I sit down on a stool.

"So, Jaden told you to come?" I awkwardly try to make conversation.

"Uh, yeah. But I also wanted to come and talk to you based on my own preference. It wasn't just completely his idea." He explained.

I just nod for him to continue.

"I've been thinking a lot about everything that was said and exchanged between us. You didn't really know you were pregnant, did you?" He carefully asks.

I swallow a lump in my throat, and shake my head. "I didn't. How could I ever lie to you about that if I knew?"

Ransom studies me for a moment. "When I was talking with Berkeley about this entire thing, she told me that you most likely didn't tell me we were mates for a good reason. Is she right?"

I rest my hands in front of me on the counter and interlace my fingers together. "She is."

"Can I ask why?"

I look down at my hands, and shake my head.

After sitting in silence for a while, and feeling his eyes locked on me, he eventually speaks up again.

"You know you can tell me anything, right? I'm your mate now. I've thought for so long about this, and i'm not going anywhere." he rests his elbows on the counter as well, and leans towards me slightly.

I finally look at him again. "There's a lot to me that is not easy to explain. Not even Jaden knows everything about me, and hes the one who hit me with his car."

"Jaden hit you with his car?" Ransom smiles a little.

"Another story for another time, but yes, he did. I was crossing a road and he hit me with his car. that's how we met." I think back on the memory. The impact wasn't as nearly as painful as what happened before that.

"You're more of a deer than a wolf." he lightly chuckles.

I just shake my head. "Anyways, i'm really fucked up, is what i'm trying to tell you. It's going to take a while for me to come around. Just be patient, no matter how long it takes."

He carefully takes my hands in his, afraid that I might pull away, which I thought about, but didn't.

"I'm really fucked up as well. I don't come from a good background, and if it weren't for Berkeley I don't think I would even be here. Life has thrown a lot of crap at me, which has left me in so many emotions. Mainly confused. Like, when I tried to tell you I wasn't gay or whatever? The more I thought about it, the more I wasn't telling you that. I was trying to convince myself of that, because of my past. I want to apologize for that, by the way." Ransom explains to me.

Aha, I knew it. He is gay. I guess sleeping with me gave it away.

"I guess you can say we're both a little fucked up." I try to laugh off the serious tension between us, and it works. He laughs with me when I say that, and he nods.

"Want to watch a TV show or movie with me?" I point with my thumb back to my TV.

He shrugs. "Sure, find something to watch and i'll prepare the food." he pulls his hands away from mine, and I inwardly frown.

"I forgot you brought food." I tell him honestly.

"Damn, shouldn't have told you then. I could've taken it all for myself." he says, light humor in the undertone of his voice.

I roll my eyes and go to the TV, choosing a movie to watch instead of a series.

Finally deciding on the movie It, Ransom comes in the room with food and I start the movie, where we both finally are able to enjoy each others company for once.

The movie didn't really start to get intense to me, personally, until the middle of the story line. There was a jump scare that made me freak out, and Ransom pulled me into him, which comforted me way more than it should've in that moment.

I looked at him, thanking him silently.

Maybe things can finally begin to be okay again.