Thantophobia

Chapter 27

I was laying down on the back porch swing, my head in Ransom's lap. His fingers running softly through my hair as we watched the younger pups and warriors go through training.

My thought travels back to my outburst the other day, and how angry I had gotten.

"Do you think I have anger issues?" I look up to Ransom, and he chuckles, raising a brow.

"What?" He questions, not sure if this was a serious topic or something to joke about.

"Like, do I have an anger problem? Because of how bad I was with Enzo?" My fingers played with themselves in my lap as I spoke.

Ransom thinks for a moment. "No, you don't have any anger issues. I just don't think you control it as well when you're around Enzo considering what he did."

His hands continue running through my hair, never really stopping. I just hum, and turn my head back over to what's going on in the backyard.

"How many weeks do we have left here?" Ransom changes the conversation, which I'm grateful for. I don't like thinking bad about myself lately since I'm trying to get my wolf back.

"Uh, two or three? It's been a while since I tried to rip out Enzo's throat." I roll my eyes.

Ransom chuckles again. God, I could always hear that sound and never get sick of it. "At least there haven't been any more incidents with you two. You're getting a lot stronger, and dragging you away from him was pretty rough."

"Well if you would've asked me to stop then I would've." I look back at him, the corner of my lips tugging into a teasing smile.

He just rolls his brown eyes. "Uh huh, sure."

I laugh, and he leans down, pressing his lips lightly against my forehead.

I bask in the moment, realizing just how much Ransom has had my back and has been supportive even through the tough times. A few months ago I wouldn't have had any trouble dropping him, as horrible as that sounds. But now I don't want him to go anywhere.

"I love you." I whisper, and he pulls away, looking surprised, but his eyes are soft.

I sit up, and adjust my body so I'm facing him, being careful not to hurt myself since I was also in the porch swing.

"I'm being serious. We've both been through absolute shit lately, and yet we're still here somehow, and together. I know we don't really talk about the miscarriage much, but you would have been the best dad. And when the time is right, we could try again if you want. Needless to say, I'm grateful for you, and I love you." I take his hand in mine, not breaking eye contact with him.

He leans in, pressing his lips against mine. It's very passionate and deep, so many thoughts now going through my head.

He pulls away for just a moment. "I love you." He tells me honestly, and I smile. He leans back in, and out lips connect once more.

His lips move against mine, and more of a slower pace than we usually kiss at. We don't go any further though since we are out in front of a pack, technically.

He smiles into the kiss, and I laugh, breaking it. "Well it's good that you love me, because now you're stuck with me."

"For good?" He raises an eyebrow expectantly, and I nod.

"For good."

He's about to continue the conversation until Arina, Malik, Liam, and Ansaldo come rushing out through the backdoor.

Arina looks around, spotting me.

"Thank god. There's been rogue scents at the west border. We're going to check it out, we want you to come." Arina tells me, and I look between her and Ransom.

Ransom nods, urging me to go.

"But what if it's a trap? I won't be able to shift." I narrow my eyes.

"We know. But guess who still gave Enzo a run for his money the other day in just a human form? You. You're a lot stronger than you think." I glanced at the others, and Ansaldo was talking to Liam and Malik in a hushed tone, his face stone cold and dead serious.

I don't know what Liam saw attractive in that man besides that he was very powerful.

"Fine. But if I die that's on you." I point accusingly, and she smiles gratefully.

"Great, let's get going. Kyle, you can ride on one of our wolves' back." Arina tells me, and I just nod.

I had gotten used to riding on wolves for patrols and things like this. I've also been running, don't get me wrong, but my human speed can't compare to any wolves.

The four of them lead me over to the edge of the clearing, and they strip behind trees. I just stand awkwardly waiting for them.

When they come out, they have their clothes neatly folded and in their wolf's mouth.

I reach out for a light brown and tan wolf, and I realize that it's Malik.

"Is it alright if I ride on your back?" I ask, and his wolf gives me a small nod.

I quickly get on, and they all take off running to the west border.

My heart beats quickly in my chest as adrenaline begins to kick in. What if we were just running straight into a trap? How would I protect and fight for myself then?

Then I began thinking that even if I get my wolf back, would I always be thinking like this? With each patrol would I be thinking 'I may not see Ransom again'.

I frowned, and shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts away.

Malik slowed down as we finally approached the edge of the border, and I can see and feel them all tense up. Most likely because of the rogue scent being very strong.

I have lost my sense of werewolf smell over the years, but it's been something I'm working on, and even to me it's overwhelming. Which meant it was fresh, and there were a lot of them.

I hop off Malik as they all begin to shift. I kept my eyes away from all of them as they changed into their clothes that their wolves held.

"This doesn't look good." Liam spoke up, and I hum in agreement.

Arina narrows her dark brown eyes, and walks slowly to the edge of her packs border. "We'll discuss plans for this when we're back at the pack house. Who knows, they could be listening in right now."

That's when we hear it.

The howling.