Thantophobia

Chapter 26

I feel my eyes flutter open from a dreamless sleep, and I lay on my side, facing the wall.

I blink my eyes a few times, trying to shake the heaviness out of them after crying so much.

I notice the bed around me is cold, and I slowly sit up, only to see Ransom sitting at the other side of the bed, his back facing towards me.

"How long was I out?" I groan, pressing my hand against my head as it began to hurt. Probably from dehydration and losing body fluids.

"A couple hours." I hear him sigh, but he doesn't turn around.

I furrow my eyebrows. "What's wrong?" I quietly ask, knowing something was up.

He hesitates, before turning around just enough to have one leg rest on the bed, and he faces more towards me so at least I can see most of his face.

"What the hell is going on Kyle? I'm sick of being in the dark about your life." I can tell by the tone of his voice that this has been bothering him for a while, and he was trying to keep himself together.

"Ransom..." I trail off, not knowing what to say.

"You scared the shit out of me today, you know that, right? I've never in my life seen someone that angry and willing to tear someone up." He shakes his head,  and looks over at me.

I'm at a loss for words. I open my mouth to see if I can find anything to say, but it fails. I close my mouth instead.

He turns and fully faces me now, and I look down. He grabs my hands comfortingly.

"I'm your mate. You need to learn how to trust me. I can't help you anymore now unless I know. And I know I said I wouldn't rush you telling me, but I can't wait anymore Kyle." He squeezes my hands reassuringly.

I'm sure if I had tears in me, I would be crying right now.

"I don't know where to begin." My voice comes out more hoarse than I wanted, and I almost cringe at how broken I've sounded.

"Begin on who that man is, please." He refers to Enzo, and I visibly cringe. I don't want to get upset and angry over him. Not again.

I take a deep breath. "His name is Enzo. He's Ansaldos Gamma, third in charge, and he," my voice cracks, and I try to take a few deep breaths and continue. "He killed my husband. Didn't even think twice about it."

I look up and I see Ransom's eyes glance down to my chest. I pull one of my hands free from his, and reach down my shirt to grab the ring. I pull the chain over my head, and hold it out to show him.

"There was a threat to Ansaldo and Liam's pack six years ago. It was a woman who goes by Elizabeth. She died quickly in battle, but we went back after it was done to burn her body. We needed to make sure she was dead. Anyways, that's not the point. My mate, or husband, whichever you would want to call him, worked alongside her. We had no idea until that day."

I feel my eyes somehow water, and ransom reaches out to cup my face gently, brushing off a few tears with his thumb. Ransom silently urged me to continue.

"My nightmares come from what Enzo did to him. H-He ripped out his throat and I couldn't protect him. I was being held down, and I just watched it happen." When I stuttered, my voice broke down into a sob, again.

Ransom stayed quiet, still wiping away my tears, holding me close to him.

"When I was let go, he died in my arms. Bled out. And I dream about the moment almost every night still. I was so mad and angry when I found out. But as he was dying, he couldn't even speak. He tried, and told me something right before he passed away.

"He told me that he loved me. That him dying wasn't my fault. But it was. If I didn't get mad and controlled myself then I wouldn't have been held down and..." I feel myself breaking, more than I ever have before. I couldn't continue, and Ransom quickly pulled me into him, his hand coursing gently through my hair and softly rocking me side to side. He softly shushed me in my ear.

After a while, Ransom speaks up. "As much as you think that this is your fault, it's not," he pulls me away a little bit so he could look me in my eyes. "He knew you would blame yourself. He told you not too. But you made it so far already, and you fought through all this pain. He would be proud of you. He is proud of you."

He says the last line with such authority, I'm stunned silent. He's taking all of this surprising better than I thought he would.

"May I ask what his name was?"

I haven't said his name since he died. It was a sign to myself that I haven't moved on since that day, and I'm not over it.

But maybe I'm ready to take a baby step forward.

"Easton. Easton Williams." As soon as I say his name, I feel like a hundred bricks are lifted off my chest, and glasses are put over my eyes so I could see a little clearer and breathe a little easier.

Ransom glances to my mark with Easton's initials on my skin. The mark was once a very dark and prominent black. Not it's a light gray, hard to read. It would never fully fade away, and the shade it's at is the lightest it will ever get.

He takes the chain from my hand and puts it back over my head, but doesn't tuck it down my shirt. He holds the ring a little longer before letting it go.

"Wear him proudly from now on. Don't hide him anymore, please?" He catches my gaze again, and I nod, a little reluctant at first.

"You will always love him. I won't ever try to get in the way of that. If I had something of Estebans, like a ring or dog tags, I would wear them around all the time. My point is, don't forget him, and certainly don't let others forget him as well." He leans forward and plants a soft kiss on my forehead.

As I relish in the moment, I hear a weird sound coming from downstairs. Ransom pulls away, and he also hears it.

We both get off the bed, quickly walking to the source of the noise in the kitchen.

I stood dumbfounded in the doorway as I saw Malik dancing around with his daughter Nico, banging pots and pans together, making an absolute ruckus.

Luca storms in, a sleepy Elijah his hip. "Malik! You woke him up from his nap."

Ransom and I glance at each other, slowly deciding to back out of the room together so we wouldn't get caught up in the fight between the two mates.

We were right to do so, because soon enough Luca was chasing after Malik, a giant oven sheet in his hands.

———

(Ah, a sad chapter again, but with a little Malik moment. Gotta love him.

Anyways, I'm putting up a preview of Unraveled! Go check it out ;)

No set release date on the book yet. But I can't wait for you guys to read it!)