KISS: Casablanca High School

Ch 117: Sleep Is Important (Bruce)

I turned to look at Eric, who was still bouncing his legs while vibrating in the passenger seat. "So how much caffeine do you have running through you?" I asked. He shrugged, twitching a bit. "Too much, probably. I mean you saw how many cups of coffee I just had. Why do you ask?" 

I took the keys out of the ignition, turning to look at him with a sigh. "Why are you afraid of sleeping?" He froze, looking at me in shock for a second before a guarded look settled across his face and he shook his head. "I dunno what you're talking about. I was just watching TV and stuff last night," he muttered. "Eric. I am the king of unhealthy and self-destructive habits. I know what it looks like when you're hiding from something and when you're hiding something. How many nights have you gone without sleeping?" 

His face fell and he dropped his head, staring at the ground. "Just t-two." "Two straight days without any sleep?" I asked gently. He nodded sadly, refusing to meet my eye. "But...why?" I asked after a pause. 

Taking a shaking breath, he shrugged, leg still bouncing rapidly. "I guess...I'm scared.  Of the dark and all, like a little kid. Because sometimes when I close my eyes and try to sleep I feel like I'm back there again, like I'm dying again. I can still smell it almost, and hear all the sounds and the lights in the darkness and I hated it, I hated it so much and I'm not going back, I won't, but when I try to sleep I feel like I'm back there again so I...I don't," he said haltingly. "But it's fine, I'll get some sleep tonight! I don't want you to worry." 

A knot formed in the pit of my stomach and I slipped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a side hug. "It's okay. You won't go back there, you're fine, you don't need to worry anymore. But you need to sleep. Why don't you spend the night at my place? That way you don't have to sleep alone in a room and if you need anything you can just wake me up and I'll help you." 

He gave me a grin, still jittery. "Thanks, man. I'll ask my mom if I can spend the night then call you later." I forced a smile, nodding, and headed to his house.  

A few hours later, I was back at his house and bringing him to mine. Dinner was fine, and after playing video games for awhile Eric was starting to yawn a lot. "Goodnight Bruce!" he said, flashing me his same old brilliant smile and diving into the nest of blankets and pillows he had made on the floor. Still unable to shake the feeling something was really wrong with him, I returned his smile and went to bed myself. 

Barely an hour later, the sound of shuddery breathing broke the silence and I rolled over to look at Eric, who was sitting curled up on the floor, shoulders shaking. "Hey, what's wrong?" I asked softly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," he mumbled, resting his head on his knees. I slid out of bed, sitting next to him and slipping an arm around his shoulders. "Hey, it's alright. I'm here, everything's fine. You don't have to go back there." Chest heaving, he ran a hand through his hair. "I can't go back, I can't." "And you won't, I swear. I'm here for you. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you again."

We sat on the floor, my arm around his shoulders, until he fell asleep leaning against me. I tried to lay him back down on his pillows but his eyes flew open and he shook his head. "No please don't let go. I don't want to be alone," he whispered. I nodded, before rising to my feet and holding out a hand. He took it gratefully and I pulled him to his feet. "Here, you go under the blankets I'll go on top of them. My bed's probably more comfortable than the floor. I'm serious, you need to sleep. It'll help," I said, cutting off his protests.  

Eric nodded, curling up into a ball under the covers as I stretched out next to him. "If you need anything, tell me, alright?" He nodded, falling asleep almost immediately, holding on to both the stuffed fox and my arm, almost painfully tight. Giving him a sad smile, I let him cling to me and tried to fall asleep myself. 

He didn't let go the entire night, and even though I woke up three or four hours before he did, I didn't move. He needed the sleep more than I needed to be out of bed. Finally his eyes fluttered open and he sat up with a yawn, stretching. "Hey, how're you doing?" I asked. 

He turned to look at me, eyes completely covered by his hair, and yawned again, smiling. "Morning Bruce. Wh-what time is it?"

I looked over at my phone. "Hm, looks to be about 12:30. You sleep well?" He nodded before leaning over to give me a hug. "Thank you so much. I'm sorry if I kept you awake at any point, I just didn't want to let go because...because I needed to know that I wasn't alone." I returned the hug, ruffling his hair. "No, it's fine." But he wasn't fine. He was terrified, and to be honest he had every right to be.

"Hey do you...do you want to talk about anything? You know I'm always here for you." 

He gave me a grateful look, flopping back onto the pillows. "It really sucks because I like sleeping, you know? I know you know I like sleeping, because I do it all the time. At the tournaments, at the hospital, in calc sometimes. And...I'm just gonna talk and if I hurt your feelings I'm not trying to I swear!" 

I nodded, motioning for him to begin, and he took a deep breath. "You weren't always there for me, and it's not your fault, you could only be there thirty minutes a day and you came to see me almost every single day after the first week and I can't thank you enough for that because it was lonely and I missed you and the rest of them but especially you because you're my best friend.  Nights there were hell. Long and dark and lonely and painful. I didn't want to get stabbed, I just wanted to make sure noting happened to Peter. I feel like I can't go outside again, I can't go and take a walk and I don't want to be stuck like that. And it really pisses me off that the guy who stabbed me got away, because that sucks. He sucks."

I pulled him into a tight hug, unable to tell if he was the one shaking or if I was. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It shouldn't have happened to you, I never should've let it happen to you. I'm sorry I can't help you more. But uh--if you wanted, you could come to one of my therapy sessions and talk to Dr. Chikara if you wanted to? It's just some more follow-up sessions," I mumbled. 

Eric pushed away from me, giving me a smile and shaking his head. "No, no, absolutely not, nice try. You need that Bruce, I'm serious. You gotta focus on yourself too. It's fine, I can just ask my parents to let me see Dr. Chikara again if it gets worse. But I think I'll be fine, last night really helped. So thank you for that," he said. "Now do you have food here? Because I'm starving." 

I laughed, jumping to my feet. "Of course you are. Come on, let's go downstairs." Eyes shining, Eric nodded, following after me and starting to look like he was feeling better. A good sign, but I was still gonna have to keep an eye on him. 

He's already been through enough, I didn't want him to go through anything more if I could help it.