KISS: Casablanca High School

Ch 127: Gene, Wait (Paul)

I sat next to Ace at the tables at lunch, shivering in the cold. He gave me a smile, hand brushing against mine, and I felt my heart skipping the way it used to when I looked at Gene. Might as well give it a shot I guess. 

"Hey I gotta go to the mall to get some new shoes and I was gonna go tomorrow, you wanna come with?" I asked, hoping desperately I sounded casual. He gave me a grin, eyes sparkling. "Ooh, is that a date?" he teased. I shrugged, cheeks flushing pink. "I mean...if you want it to be," I mumbled. His face lit up and he grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze. "If I want--well yeah, curly! I like you, I want it to be a date! But do you want it to be a date?" 

I nodded, smiling, before catching a glimpse of Gene walking alone across the parking lot, looking miserable, and felt my heart plummet as my smile wavered. Ace let go of my hand. "Paulie. He loves you. You don't need to worry about him, you just gotta give him time!" Sighing, I turned back to Ace and held his hand again. "Yeah you're right. I'll just talk to him after school." 

Gene still looked miserable after school, but he gave me a smile when I walked over to him. "Hey Paul, how's it going?" he asked. I shrugged, running a hand through my hair. "We need to talk." His smile slipped away and he looked at the ground. "About what?" he mumbled. 

"Gene, you've been really weird and distant lately and I want to know what's going on because I'm worried about you. Can we just talk about it?" He shook his head, tugging at his cast. "No I'm sorry I have to go get this taken off and then I have work," he said, still not looking at me. I heaved a sigh. "Okay fine, I'll just stop by your place after you're done with work, how's that sound?" 

Gene just shrugged, still looking really upset. "Sure. Anyway I gotta go I'll see you later I guess," he said, walking off before I could say anything. 

I was waiting outside his apartment complex because I had forgotten the spare key to his apartment that I might've stolen from him two years ago when he came walking up to me, instantly getting quiet again. It was weird to see him without the bright red cast on. "Hey you got your cast off, nice!" I said. 

"Yeah. I just got Peter to cut it off. Cheaper than like going to the actual doctor, since free is a lot better than a couple hundred bucks." We stood on the sidewalk in an awkward silence which was quickly interrupted by a guy walking toward us. 

"Ugly ass one-earned freak. Damn, that's a face no one can love. You wanna get the fuck out of the way?" 

I rolled my eyes, quickly flipping my hair back over my ears while trying to ignore the guy complaining we were standing on the sidewalk, but Gene wasn't about to do the same. "What did you say to him?" Gene asked, turning to stare at the guy. "I just told him to move, damn!" he cried, rolling his eyes. Gene's eyes narrowed into slits and he drew himself up to his full height, standing taller than the guy. "No, what the fuck did you say to him?"

"I told your little faggoty bitch friend that he needs to get his ugly ass out of here." I grabbed Gene's arm, holding him back. "Gene, Gene let's just go inside, it's fine, just leave it," I said in a low voice, trying to pull him away. But he wasn't budging. "You insult him again and I'm gonna knock your teeth down your fucking throat, bitch," he snarled.

"If you wanna go man, we can go!" the guy shouted back. And of course since Gene was Gene and liked to solve problems with his fists a lot, he twisted free from my grasp and dove for the guy. "Dammit, Gene stop!" I yelled, but it was pointless. They were already going at it, Gene doing everything possible to make good on his threat while the guy threw just as many punches back. 

He sat seething silently at his kitchen table as I tried to find an ice pack in his really empty fridge. "You didn't have to do that, you know," I said after a pause. Scowling, he just sniffed angrily, holding a wad of tissues to his nose. "Gene, I'm serious, you didn't have to do that. I mean come on man, you just got your nose broken for no reason!"

"I got my nose broken for you," he mumbled, sniffing again as the tissues started to turn red. "You didn't have to though, is my point. We could've just walked away and it would've been fine," I said with a sigh. "No. He insulted you. He got what he deserved." "Gene--" "Paul you're the only family I've got, okay?! I love you and I'm gonna stick up for you!" he shouted, before falling silent with a wince, tears springing to his eyes as he tilted his head back and tried to get the bleeding to stop.

Stunned, I stood in silence for a moment before turning to him again. "Gene--" "Just drop it." And that was the end of that. 

I got him a fresh handful of tissues and an ice pack, handing them to him with a sigh. "Here. Take these and tell me what the hell is going on with you." 

He took a deep breath, shaking his head. "Nothing's wrong, I'm fine," he whispered, on the verge of tears. "Gene. Shut up. Talk to me, please. You always do this, you always say you're fine and that there's no problem and nothing's wrong and you always take care of everyone else, give me the chance to help you for once!" I shouted. 

Tears were rolling down his cheeks at this point and he just closed his eyes, shaking his head as he bled through another wad of tissues. "I don't want to lose you," he said quietly. Baffled, I sat next to him at the table. "What do you...what are you talking about?" I asked. He shook his head again, rising to his feet and throwing away the tissues before washing off his face. "It's stupid, it doesn't matter." 

I grabbed his arm, turning him toward me. "Gene please just--" "It's fine! Look, you're happy when you're with Ace and that's fine, that's all that matters to me. I just want you to be happy." "I know you do, that's why I love you, and I want you to be happy too and you're not right now and I want to do something to fix it if I can!" 

He gave me a sad look, face already bruised and nose already swollen. "You wanna know what's wrong? Fine. I miss you. You're hanging out with Ace cause you're dating him and that's what you do when you date someone. And it sounds selfish but it hurts because I don't have many people in my life and you were always there for me but now you're not and that's okay, I'm not asking you to be because you don't have to, but I'm just...shit man, I'm just lonely. No one's ever here when I'm home." 

I nodded, keeping my hand on his arm. "I know, I'm sorry, I get it though." His eyes darkened and he shook his head, pulling away. "No. You don't get it. Your parents are busy, yeah, but they're there for you. They work because they want to, not because they have to. They're still there when you get home, you still get to sit down and have dinner with them. I haven't done that in months. I haven't been able to have one day off with my mom because I'm in school while she's at work then I'm at work when she's at home and I hate it, I fucking hate being poor and you don't understand because you're not, you're filthy fucking rich!" he shouted, before sitting down at the table and dropping his head to his arms. 

"Gene," I said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder, but he just shook his head. "It's fine. Just go home, I'll see you tomorrow. I have work in a few hours anyway." "Gene I'm not going to leave you like this. I didn't realize that--" 

"Paul, please. It's fine. I don't want you to think that you can't date Ace because I feel sad or something pathetic like that. You're your own person, you're a really good person and I want you to be happy," he said, rising to his feet and leading me to the door, already starting to get two dark bruises under his eyes. 

"Well I know but--" "Paul. I will be fine. I'm just tired and my face hurts. I'm serious, date Ace. I'm dating Christie anyway, it's fine I promise. All I care about is that you're happy and that you can be yourself." 

I gave him a smile and a hug, pretty certain there was definitely something wrong with him that he wasn't telling me. I wanted to date Ace, but I also couldn't shake the feeling that Gene was really bitterly jealous. For some reason.