🌸O N L Y F O R Y O U🌸 ||Kacchako||

CHAPTER TWELVE: Its not the same

{what was the dream about? What does the blood mean? Why was I the one who was drowning? My crush is getting bigger. The more she starts to love Izuku, the farther she starts to drift from me; the longing, lust and love I have for her only grows}

        Shitshitshitshit. I'm biking towards round-face's house and I almost crash into a tree. My mind has been so fucking absent lately. Ever since that weird as dream it's like my mind has developed another conscious, and they're constantly having conversations with each other. This is some weird shit.
         What does this dream mean? Why was I the one drowning in blood? The questions are endless. When I get to her house and we start walking, I stay as quiet as I can without being too suspicious, and I avoid eye contact. Things are so fucking weird I can't stand it. I'll have to be a complete dumbass to think she won't notice shit.
          "What's got you all gloomy?" I hear cheeks ask as we bike. I feel her body lean in closer to my back and her arms slither around my waist tighter as I bike. I skirt to a halt. Fuck. This fucking nasty dream isn't doing too good with my mind.
         "Katsukiii," she whines, her body slamming into my backside as a result of me breaking. I'm as stiff as a board. I'm having second thoughts. I know this is selfish, but I don't think helping her get with the damn fucking nerd is the right choice... it's like a feeling deep down in my gut-
          HONK! I snap back to reality to notice we've stopped in the middle of a crosswalk and the cars are impatiently waiting for us.
        "Shit," I curse as I take my foot off the ground and start petaling.
       "What's wrong with you lately?" Cheeks asks, taking her arms from my waist and slinging them loosely around my neck. She rests her head in the crevice between my broad shoulder and neck, her head fitting perfectly, like it was meant to be placed there.
          "Nothing." I reply dryly, not wanting to give her any detail. Fuck. She knows me too well, she ain't gonna but this load of bullshit. But I can't help it.
          What does all of this mean? Why do I feel my feelings grow as every day passed? Am I that ducking pathetic? Why am I not so sure what the right thing is?!
           "That's a load of bs," she says, hopping off the bike. She's about to lecture me when I notice her eyes dart to the right, lighting up like fire works. I know what's coming. I almost try to convince myself this isn't fucking happening. Jesus fuck.
         "Dekuuu!" My little Angel-face squeals, running to him. I roll my eyes and force myself to turn and see the disgusting sight.
          She runs and wraps her arms right around him, causing him to combust into a blushing and stuttering mess, his arms stiff like sticks. My gut churns so violently I almost vomit. I feel my throat close up. Shit.
          Just to imagine that that angelic, beautiful, unearthly embrace that was once mine is now his.. I need to get out of here. Fuck.
        I start to walk over to the school entrance, trying not to glance over. My fucking eyes don't fucking listen and literally glare right at Deku, making things hella obvious. Ha. The loser looks so scared.
         I watch as round-face and the damn nerd start walking, side by side, smiles on their face, all the way to the doors. They walk right past me with no commotion. It's like she can't even fucking see me. She doesn't seem to notice. It's like I'm not even there.

         
 
         For the first time in a long time I'm too fucking distracted to take notes. I'm just zoning out like some air-headed piece of shit.
          What are you gonna do? When are you going to tell her you're fucking crazy about her? Well, shit I don't know! It's bad enough these stupid ass feelings are getting out of hand, I barely have the possibility of  confessing much thought!
          What if her and the nerd do get together? Huh? What'll you do then! Fuck. Shit. Move on, I guess? I mean, I can't love her forever. Right? It's hard to tell. She's the only person I've ever loved, let alone cared for more than myself. I love her more than anything.
        If you tell her how intense your love is for her, you'll just scare the shit outta her, bastard! Yeah. Yeah I fucking know. She's never understand. I mean, she would. But it's me. It's always me.
         Why don't you just tell her? You loved her first. You're better than him! Fuck. The thing is, I'm not. If I keep on sticking my nose up and looking down on people, I won't notice my own flaws. That's what she told me. And I try to live by that shit. I don't know if I should, okay? Everything is crashing down so damn hard I don't know how to react! It's only ever been me and her. Now there's another person in the picture. I've waited for too long. Now I gotta deal with the consequences.
            Bullshit. This is all bullshit!
         "It's fucking Bullshit!" I say aloud. Everything goes quiet. I feel a thousand eyes on me and I look around to see everyone in class staring into my fucking soul. Shit. My face turns crimson.
         "What's fucking bullshit is that you're interrupting my class with your daydreaming! Katsuki Bakugou, Detention! After school!" Aizawa sensei shouts with little to no enthusiasm, like he doesn't get paid enough to yell that loud. I let out the loudest groan I can muster. Fuck.

         Should I confess? Is it right? ...yeah. I should. Maybe it'll change her mind. Maybe she won't like fucking Deku once she hears me out. I know her more than anyone! I know her more than him! I know it's selfish, but I gotta.
         Just five minutes into detention, I abruptly get up and dash out the door, ignoring the angry shouts behind me for me to come back. Fuck it all.
        I hope on my bike and petal, petal the fastest I can. I have to tell her. Before it's too late.
        I manage to find her walking home by herself and I jump off my bike, almost falling fucking forward. She's mine. I know it's selfish. But I can't let her go. It must be what the dream meant, right? That if she does with Deku, I'll be the one drowning in the end! I'll be the one receiving fucking consequences. I'm the dream she wants me. She throws up! Does that mean she'll die if she goes with me..? No. It can't be. It must mean she'll die if she isn't with me.
          "Ochako!" I shout. She turns around and I notice the shine to her eyes. She was crying.
          She runs to me and embraces me, hugging me tightly. My throat feels as dry as a desert. How can I just stand back and let her cry like this? She's been through so much pain because of him. I need to end this bullshit. I'm the one that can help. It's me she needs. I'm not gonna come back from school everyday to see her suffer and cry. Like I said: tears don't fucking suit her. I need to confess. She's mine. It must be what the dream is telling me.
         "Ochako, I need to tell you something. Ochako... I-"
         "I-it's getting worse. I can barely breathe," she says, her voice hoarse. I clam up. Fuck. Shit, why don't things just work out?!
          "He needs to fall in love with me. Please, Katsuki! Help...h-help m-m-me.." she looks up at me, her eyes searching mine for an answer. She desperately grips at my collar before her knees give out and she's throwing up on the ground. 
            Are you fucking kidding me? I can't confess...shit. What do I do?
           "Of course. Angel, I'll help you. He will fucking love you. Okay? I-i'll...I'll help," I say in almost a  whisper, leaning my head against the top of hers and wrapping her in a strong embrace. Fuck. In the end it's me. It's always me. Things will never be the same. It's always me. I'm just too late.

-ATTENTION!! PLEASE READ I THINK YOU ALL SHOULD READ THIS KUDOS AND ALL DESERVE TO KNOW THIS!!!!!ISBXJSHDHSB!!!! HI!! Tysm for reading! I kinda rushed it sorry! I typed it at liek 3:00 in the morning (currently rn) so I'll revise the two chapters I just typed for any errors and auto corrections because of my damn fast thumbs 🤣 I was having a mental breakdown and I'm hella depressed rn so I just needed to write the story 🥰💗✨I hope you like it! PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT>VOTE it is much appreciated! All of you guys' comments give me life and bring a huge smile to my face so thank you for that! You don't know how much courage your support on my work has given me. It has encouraged me and moved me. Writing has been an outlet, a way to cope with my anxieties, Many insecurities, stress, and mental state. So having you guys support me really brings tears to my eyes. I'm not jus saying this as a way to get "clout", I sincerely mean it. All of you are so beautiful and talent and amazing I can't believe I have ppl like you reading my crap 🤣 ❤️ so thank you from the bottom of my heart and god bless! TYSM LOVELIES 😭😭💗✨✨-

PS SORRY IF IT AUTO CORRECTS "fucking" TO "ducking" OR ETC SKBDJSJSB LMaO sOrRy 😭 😭