🌸O N L Y F O R Y O U🌸 ||Kacchako||

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: the world seems upside down

    ‼️⚠️ IMPORTANT TO THE STORY! ANGST!!! PLEASE READ :)) ⚠️‼️

       Holy shit...
      "I-is it too much? It's kinda small.." she says, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. My eyes don't part from her sight once.
      "Fuck..." I say in an exhale. She cocks her head to the side and I can feel my heart rate pick up pace.
      "What? Did you..say something?" She laugh nervously. I jolt at the sound of her voice, snapping back to fucking reality.
       "I said let's fucking go. Jeez," I say, turning my heated face away from her and grabbing her wrist. When she's not looking I turn around to sneak a peek at her once more.
        She's wearing a short black dress with thin spaghetti straps. The skirt ends in the middle of her luscious, creamy milk-coloured thighs, and the tight top part swoops down to create a low V neck, showing quote the bit of cleavage. I didn't even know she owned such a fucking dress..!
       "Who ya tryna impress? Deku already fucking rejected you," I say bitterly, turning to hide my blushes.
        She pouts. "Rude! I'm not trying to impress anyone! It's my first house party, I wanna look nice," she says, gently punching me in the shoulder. I merely shrug. Yep. This really is gonna be quite the fucking show...

      "Yooo!" Shitty hair says, opening the door to us, The alien bitch by his side. I take a look at what he's wearing and automatically think this dude has no fashion sense whatsoever. Why am I not surprised?
        He's wearing an animal print shirt under a zip up jean jacket, khaki shorts with a chain and his signature crocs.
       The alien girl on the other hand, is wearing a skimpy tube dress, shiny and pink, probably making the hair-for-brains dog wag his fucking tail at her.
"wOoah~" Shitty hair says, his eyes going wide at the sight of Round face. Her cheeks turn red and she awkwardly rubs her arms.
"What?" I say as if a challenge, breaking Kiri's gaze from the sight or Cheeks in a right dress.
The alien botch jumps up and down happily, giving Cheeks a big hug and eyeing her up and down.
"You wore the dress I brought youuu!" She squeals, outlining Round face's body in the air, making an hour glass like shape. Of course it was her fucking dress...
"Damn! It fits you well! I was afraid it was too tiny, especially the bust size! Considering you're..like-"
"O-Kayy," Shitty hair and I say in unison. Why did I fucking agree to this?
"Let's just fucking go," I say, grabbing cheeks by the arms and dragging her away. As soon as I enter the party, I instantly regret the fucking decision.
All of the whole fucking grade is here, everyone doing their own shit, obnoxiously loud. I feel fucking trapped.
"This was a bad idea.." I mumble, turning to leave, hands shoved in my fucking pockets. I feel an arm grab me and pull me away. Shiiit.
"You promised," she says, sticking out her bottom lip like a child. I roll my eyes. Bullshit.
As I look around, the room seems to close in slowly. There are only a few fucking people I can handle, at a time I may add. A few fucking people I let in my life. And being here isn't something I would enjoy. Not one. Fucking. Bit.
"Is that Ochako?" I hear squeals and turn around to see all the fucking bitches running our way. Shit.
"Hiii!" Cheeks embraces the green-Haired bitch with the weird voice.
"Where's momo?" She asks. The bitches giggle. I roll my eyes.
"With Todoroki.." The alien bitch says, pointing to the other side of the room. I turn my attention over. Ew! The fuck..
In the corner of the room is the ponytail girl up against the heterochromatic pretty boy behind her, his hands running up and down her body, placing...marks along her neck.
"Ew what the fuck..!" I shout, clearly disgusted.
"If you think that's bad, I just saw Jiro and Kaminari come down from upstairs. Jiro was looking quite...ruffled up," Mina giggles. I groan and walk away, slouching, hands in my pockets. This is fucking bullshit.
I make my way to the couch and plop myself down. This has already drained so much of my fucking energy.
"Wanna dance?"
I look up to see cheeks. I smirk and she just sits down beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder.
"Nope. Not part of the fucking deal," I say, resting my head aging my elbow, leaning on the couch arm. She pouts.
"But the music is changing!" She says. I just squeeze her cheeks until she pouts some more.
"Go dance with your friends," I say.
"Are you sure? Kats, I don't wanna leave you.." She says, resting a hand atop mine. I roll my eyes.
"I'll be fucking fine. Just go," I say. She smiles a blinding smile and takes off to join the girls.
They're all squealing and Ochako has the brightest smile on her face. How can I be so selfish? She deserves to be as happy as she is right now all the fucking time. As much as I hate it...I have to let her take the reigns.
She's right. It's not my problem. I may care for her, but sometimes fucking caring is just letting the person do things on their own...letting them..go.
I feel a sharp pain in my side, and a lump grows in my throat. When did I get so fucking emotional?
"Sup, Bakubro," Kirishima says, sitting down beside me. "I was thinkin of changing the music to something slow...y'know give the girls what they really want. Go ask her," he says, gently nudging me. I give it some thought. I mean, it wouldn't ducking kill me...
"Whatever," I say, much to Shitty hair's pleasure. He changes the song on his phone connecting to the speakers and the music starts to slow down.
I get up and make my way towards cheeks, her friends turning their attention to me.
"Hey!" She chirps. I blush, my sweaty ass hands shoved in my pockets.
"Yeah. Uh. Fuck...Cheeks..you wanna..?"
"U-Uraraka san!"
Her face turns red and she shifts her gaze to the ground. Fucking great.
"I-I..uh..? Would you like to..d-dance?" The green mop head asks, his fists balled up to his sides, his face crimson red. I have to bite down my fucking thumb to burst out shouting at him. It'snotyoubattle. It'snotyourbattle. It'snotyoubattle.
"Oh. U-uh..sure?" She says nervously. The girls behind her giggle and shoved her into the fucking nerd, causing both of their blushing to intensify.
I grumble in defeat, and make my way to the snack table, leaning on it beside Shitty hair.
"Sorry bout that, dude.." he says, resting a hand on my shoulder. I shrug.
"I..um," he clears his throat, his face turning as red as his hair. "I...Mina and I are gonna..go upstairs. Just..hang in there," he says, giving me a side smile and taking off.
The romantic music swirls around me. I want to fucking gag. My eyes scan the room full of happy ass teenagers, all deeply in love with one another. My eyes subconsciously stop at a certain pair. Fuck.
I run my hands through my spikes hair, clearly distressed. The more I look at them, the more I feel sick.
        But as I look at them more, the more my feelings change. I don't focus on what I would want, I focus on what she would want. I see her happy ass face, smiling and giggling as the fucking nerd twirls her and dips her. The way she hugs him, her fucking eyes lighting up and shining. For the first time in a long fucking time, her eyes seem full of life, they seem lively. They have meaning. And the more I look into her eyes, the more I realize. Her expression is a perfect mirror of mine. Towards her.
         My throat grows dry, it starts to hurt as I see her expression...towards him.
        But don't you love her?
       I shake my head. The voice. Of course I love her. More than anything.
       Sometimes when you love someone...you have to let them go.
Shit. Yeah...but-
Is it an attachment? Or genuine love?
What's the motherfucking difference?!
Attachment: I love you, so I want you to make me happy. Genuine: I love you, so I want you to be happy.
....
I love you means you make my life easier, I'm thankful to have you. I'm in love with you means let me make your life easier, I'm thankful to have you. I love you means I want you to be happy. I'm in love with you means I want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me.
...I'm in love...? I-I'm in love with Ochako. I want her to be happy. I want to see her smile everyday. Because even if she isn't with me, just seeing her fucking smile is enough. Even is she's doing the things she did with me...with him now. Even though...I'm in love with her. It isn't my battle to decide what she does. But I can decide what if gonan do. And I'm going to let her go. Even if...even if she isn't ducking mine anymore. If it means seeing her live. Seeing her breathe...just to live another day...I'm fine with being on the sidelines.

I take one last glance at her, the glance to seal my fate. I'm in love with fucking Ochako. So I must...let her go. Let her love him. Let her live.
I feel like I'm going to faint. I feel sick to my stomach, my throat feels like it's closing up.
"Y-yo...Bakubro?"
I ignore the voice. My fucking airway feels like it's constricting... I feel lightheaded. Suddenly, I feel a shady piercing in the throat.
"W-where's your fucking bathroom again..?" I say, my voice so hoarse and raw it surprises me. My throat feels dry, my stomach is twisting and turning. I can't breathe. Shitty hair, looking rather...roughed up, points in the direction.
I bolt to the bathroom and lock the door. My heart is pounding, but with each fucking pound, it aches twice as much as it did previously. My throat hurts. My stomach hurts. But...what hurts the most...is my heart.
I lean over the toilet bowl and throw up. I wipe my mouth with the toilet paper and open my eyes, looking into the toilet bowl. My blood runs cold. Sweat trickles down every inch on my skin, my heart pounding in my ears. No. No.
I look up into the mirror, feeling lightheaded. Faintish. I glance back at the toilet bowl full of Peonies. Ochako's favourites. Shit.

To be continued.....

(Sorry this chapter was so long. Sorry for any mistakes. 😌)

SOME BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE THAT MUST GET MENTIONED! TYSM FOR SUPPORTING MY KACCHAKO FF AND/OR JUST BEING NICE TO MEEE❤️❤️❤️: (if I didn't mention you comment so I can edit it and put you in :3 sorry I'm not the best at remembering users 😭 )
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