🌸O N L Y F O R Y O U🌸 ||Kacchako||

CHAPTER NINETEEN: The Aftermath

      Running. Breathing. Sweat pouring down on my flustered face. Confused. Eager. Anticipating. Longing.
I have to catch up to her. Before it's too late. I see her from a distance; her figure getting closer as I approach. She turns her head, her smile dazzling, almost blinding.
"Hello, Katsuki," she smiles calmly, though her eyes look almost soulless. I feel sweat form on my forehead like water droplets on a can. I'm panting.
"Something you need to tell me?"
"I love you." I say with such urgency and certainty it shakes me up. Her smile begins to fade.
I notice her body begin to tremble vigorously.
I crease my brows and begin to walk forward, each new step I take, she takes one back.
"Why...why are you backing away?" I ask nervously. She continues to tremble, only more aggressively.
She finally stops and I get to place my hand in her arm gently, comforting her.
Ochako stops trembling and looks up at me, salty tears shining in her eyes. She places a hand on one of my cheeks, caressing it. I close my eyes.
I can't take it. I lounge forward and wrap her in a huge hug, not wanting to let go. "I love you," I whisper aggressively, anger tinted.
The trembling stars up again. I hear her cough and back up to see blood spewing from her mouth as if it were a water fountain. Tears stream down her cheeks as flowers travel the flow of the blood.
"Shit..." my eyes go wide, looking at the mess before me.
"Why would you do this to me, Katsuki?" Her voice shakes, uneasy. Unsure. Raw.
"I-I didn't! I didn't mean to! Shit...oh fuck.."
"How could you have said that?!" She screams. Her image begins to melt away into a puddle of dark bred blood and flowers.
Tears sting my eyes as I propel myself forward, grabbing her arm before she sinks. My hand burns. It's like the mere physical touch from her can peel my skin off.
I look down at my hands as I myself begin to melt also. Blood pours out of my mute mouth, along with pretty little peonies. I look around. She's gone.
I sink Lower and lower into the pitch black ground, turning to liquid and flowers.
"Shit."
My breathing picks up pace, becoming almost urgently desperate.
"Shit! SOMEONE! HELP!"
The pain in my stomach travels up, into my chest and stops at my throat. I feel a stabbing pain and it causes me to wince, tears streaming down my cheeks rapidly, a very rare occurrence.
"Why..."
I hear her voice echo around in this empty, endless, pitch black void. Echoing...
I sink lower and lower, blood engulfing me.
"Fuck...FUCK!! NO!!"

"...NO!!" I bolt upward, waking up with a start. I have a pounding headache, causing me to grimace. Fuck. Just another bullshit dream..
"Bro.."
I turn my attention upward, Shitty hair rubbing his eyes, lying down in his bed.
"You okay? What happened?" He asks, genuine concern ringing in his voice. I bite my bottom lip.
"It's just a fucking nightmare. Don't even worry," I say, pulling my sleeping bag blanket up over my shoulders and turning to face the other direction.
"Did something happen last night? You've been off.." his voice trails off, still groggy from being waken up.
"Mmn," I say sharply as my response.
"I mean, you've never had a nightmare. Not once during any of our sleepovers..." shitty hair continues. I ignore him.
"I'm glad my parents allowed me to have you over. You were as pale as a ghost! Man, I don't know what I would do if you were sick or-"
"I'm gonna use the bathroom.." I cut him off, aggressively throwing the blanket off of me and walking out his room. Kirishima just stays quiet.
I shove my hands in my pockets, wiping the tears I've been preventing hair-for-brains to see this whole time. If anyone saw me like this...even her...
I tip toe down the stairs, careful not to wake Kirishima's parents up.
I enter the bathroom and lock the door behind me, sighing deeply. "What the fuck was that dream..."
I look at myself in the mirror. I look like shit-
I've always been sweaty...more so than average people, but I look liek I ran a fucking marathon right now. On top of that, the fucking rims under my eyes are completely red and puffed up, showing I fucking cried.
"What the fuck," I exhale, ruffling my fingers through my messy hair. I'll have to wait here for a bit.
Out of everyone, besides Round face, of course, Shitty hair knows me the best. Sure, he may fucking joke around like a complete idiot with the soy sauce face, alien bitch and dunce, but he knows when somethings up. It makes it incredibly hard for me to hide any shit from him, especially since he follows me everywhere like a lost dog.
"It's just my bro sense tingling!" He'd tell me like an idiotic bitch. "I know when my best bro is feeling off!"
They both can tell. Him and...
Uraraka...
I feel a familiar sharp pain jab my throat, and a tight knot form in my chest. I go towards the toilet and hurl, barfing out a whole bucket full of fucking flowers and blood. Fuck. This shit ain't good...
"..dammit.." I bang my fist to the side of the toilet bowl, creating a loud clank.
"I'm glad my parents allowed me at hAvE you over..."
As much as I hate to admit that shit, so do I. I wouldn't know what to say if my own ass of a family saw me like this. I wouldn't be able to look the old hag in the face when lying to her. She wouldn't stop going on my fucking case about it.
And then seeing blood and flowers in the fucking toilet would be another story...

—— —— ——

Peonies. Ochako's favourite. Shit.
I'm hyperventilating, freaking out. "Shitshitshitshit.." tears sting my eye and it takes every ounce of strength left in my trembling hands to wipe them away.
"But...but I realized I fucking loved her before...why didn't-"

         I love you means you make my life easier, I'm thankful to have you. I'm in love with you means let me make your life easier, I'm thankful to have you. I love you means I want you to be happy. I'm in love with you means I want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me.

        Shit. Who knew there was such a huge fucking difference? So what...I admitted I want her to be happy. Even if it's with...him.
      I feel another sharp pain in my throat and I hurl, more blood splattering into the toilet bowl and some droplets spraying my face.
Even if it's with him...I finally admitted it. And now I'm fucking punished?
I wince. This pain is like no other pain I've felt before. And what's worse is it incorporates the most painful trope of hurt you can get...not physical...but..the kind of hurt you feel in your heart.
My fucking heart feels as though it's being pounded, shattered into a million fucking pieces over and over again. My stomach feels like it's being eaten inside out, and my throat feels like thorns are pricking into it.
A silent tear drop falls form from my eye and into the toilet bowl, along with the other shit.
"Ow..shit. That fucking hurts-"
I hear a knock at the door and panic rushes over me. Which fucking is it this time-
"Fucking occupied bitch," my tone do voice not matching my words. While my words are vulgar and aggressive, my voice seems hurt and scared; the opposite of me most of the time.
"Hey, bro," a calm yet energetic voice booms from the other side of the door, above all of the loud music and chatter. I sigh in relief, glad it's not...her.
"..yeah?" I respond.
"You good in there?" He asks. I see the door knob turn and I sprint to push my body weight against it.
"Can you n-not fucking open it?!" I stutter. I cover my mouth. Why am stuttering so fucking much recently?!
"Oops, sorry," he laughs nervously. "I'll just wait here. I was worried, that's all bro."
"Well don't be for fuck's sake," I say grouchily, flushing the toilet.
I open the door, avoiding eye contact with him.
"Bro...look at me. You okay?" Shitty hair asks, furrowing his eyebrows with concern. I still feel dizzy...
"Yeah. I'm fucking fine," I lie, trying my best to sound convincing. He stares into my eyes and I make a big 'tch', walking back to the couches. I feel a hand grab my shoulder and I snap.
"What the fuck do you want?!" I yell. The music is too loud for my yelling to catch the attention of a big crowd of people, but I couldn't care if they did look or not.
"Yo, chill man! You just look a little pale is all...let's just sit down," he says, leading me to the couch. I don't have enough energy to swat the hair-for-brains away.

—— —— ——

Shit. Is the universe against me or some shit? Fuck, now I have to choose. If I thought choosing between my own feelings and hers was hard before...now...it's going to be a whole new thing.
If...if I choose my feelings over hers, she won't reciprocate it. I know she would want me to be happy and she'd choose me, so she'd put her feelings for the nerd aside. Meaning she'll...die.
But if I choose her fucking feelings over mine, she'd be happy. She'd smile and laugh and have a good time...I'd be sitting on the sideline. I...I would...die.

-AUTHORS NOTE: OMGGG!!! Thank you all so much for almost 3K and 450+ Votes!!! 1K was really a HUGEEE milestone for me, so thank you sooo much!!! And THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALMOST 60 FOLLOWERS OMFG IM SO HAPPY 😭 I didn't think I'd get this far, so just seeing all of your comments and messages and meeting and making more friends with all of you warms my heart and makes my day ☺️ I love making friends with you guys and talking to you, believe me, just the littlest comment and support makes me smile! I've been so busy and I've been trying to manage my mental health, so you guys supporting me and leaving me nice messages and actually WILLING TO BE MY FRIEND makes managing my emotions and mental health sooo much easier ❤️ ❤️ I'm so sorry I haven't been updating recently, I'm trying to think of more ideas because I truly want to give the best to you guys!! PLEASE COMMENT ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR NEW CHAPTERS AND NEW BOOKS! I have a few ideas myself but ik I won't finish my current ones if I start new ones 😅 anyway, sorry for being annoying and talking to much, I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCHHH TYSM FOR ALL THE SUPPORT IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME! 😭🥺☺️💗❤️✨-

*ps I'll check for any mistakes after sorry 😅🙃*