The Missing Gem

24 | We're Good

Lucas 

Not wanting to sound too cliché: ever since I met the woman of my dreams, life has never been the same.

Nicole makes me forget yesterday and not think about tomorrow. Except right now.  

With the food getting cold in front of us, we both agreed on putting off the so needed talk for a couple of hours so we could just eat and go home, and then talk somewhere private.

"I think I'm gonna miss this."

"What?" I asked, low key scared about what she was gonna say this time. 

Her next move was to softly brush her lips against mine. "Coming home to your house." She said after the kiss, her breath tickling my neck. "It smells like you, you know?"

I couldn't tell if she'd been crying on the tube ride home or if she was about to right now, but the look in her eyes made me engulf her in a tight hug.

It was the latter. 

"Shh, come on, don't cry..."

I heard her sniffle in response before she slowly backed out of my embrace. Without saying another word in return, she took off her coat and tossed it care-freely to the arm of the chair before sitting down on the couch. 

I hadn't noticed I had followed suit, taking my own coat off while I watched her every move before I joined her. 

"Lucas, I am so sorry I am hurting you. I didn't mean to upset you when I brought up the conversation."

"I think first and foremost we should talk, and focus on the apologies after." 

She nodded in agreement and the expression of fear that she had on just a while ago at the market made its' comeback. 

"I've just... been thinking a lot about all of this. This whole situation was far from what I had in mind when I came to London. I never thought I'd meet a man I love so much like I love you. When we started going out and I first started to realize I had feelings for you, I always imagined we wouldn't last." I gave her the silence break she needed before she continued. "But then I realized I couldn't live without you so, I thought I'd just move here, for good. I mean, you were decided not to move away from here. Away from your family."

"You're right, I was."

What I said seemed to have hit a nerve, somewhere in the depth of her eyes I could see that.

 "Then great, we're on the same page. You'll understand where I'm coming from here."

With a nod from me, she went on. 

"If that was your decision before, what changed after we went to Pixar? What made you change your mind so quickly?"

I opened my mouth to answer when she cut me with more questions. "And what about what you said to me about not wanting a long distance relationship for us? But then questioning my decision to go to LA with you for the semester? I am not questioning your love for me, I know you love me. I feel it with every touch, every kiss, every look." Another pause settled after the last sentence came out as a whisper, as if we were still in that market and I was the only one meant to hear it. "I guess I just want to know if you love your dream more than you love me?"

I put a strand of hair behind her ear and she gulped, eyeing me as she waited for an answer to all those questions. 

It hurt me a little that those were the questions that have been crossing her mind lately, it hurts me that she'd have those thoughts when I always thought I'd never given her a reason to in the first place.